I've never been to London, nor will I, but I once sent my spouse off for a look-see and she came back with the usual Trafalgar and pigeon snaps, a can of Nukie,

I've never been to London, nor will I, but I once sent my spouse off for a look-see and she came back with the usual Trafalgar and pigeon snaps, a can of Nukie, a copy of 'Viz' and a 'Parklife' CD. Close enough; add that to a deep familiarity with the London of Dickens and Sherlock, and I'd wager that it's no more Hell than any human anthill of its ilk.