3 ms·

This is an exceptional piece of writing, finely crafted and suffused with unusually deep insight. I read a lot, and seldom have I run across a writer possessed

This is an exceptional piece of writing, finely crafted and suffused with unusually deep insight. I read a lot, and seldom have I run across a writer possessed of this level of skill. A writer's central task is to place the reader in another world, living another life. At this, the author succeeds with what seems like effortless grace. Few of today's award-winning novelists display this power. I do hope HN folks will take the time to read this essay.

julianeon 3y ago
Funnily enough, your observation was the basis of my criticism. I can state it semi-socratically. What is this article about? A woman who did sex work at a massage parlor. Summarize what she did, then. I... can't. I actually thought in the beginning that it may have been sensual, not sexual. Then she described it as sex work - which changed my mind - so it was sexual (incidentally, I have heard this critiqued in pieces before in creative writing classes - preferably a reader should not read 1/2 of your story and then mentally have to reframe everything that came before a sentence which unintentionally repositions everything). And not to be indelicate but... how? What did the sex part of it actually involve? I can think of a whole lot of variations of that, which run a big gamut of intimacy and (I imagine) danger, but I can't tell you how she fit into that. The fact that she bought condoms partially answered that, but it's still an incomplete picture. Also if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend during that time, how she talked to her parents about this, friends - how was security handled, health, pregnancy - basic social/workplace questions - all a blank. Maybe these were limitations imposed by the magazine itself and (ironically enough) the very power structure that she mentions as a threat. But I couldn't tell you what she actually did as a masseuse, which seems like a weakness of the piece.
- mensetmanusman 3y ago
  It’s not the summary that matters, it’s the journey. Most people’s lives will end without a summary of accomplishments.
- DJHenk 3y ago
  > What is this article about? It is not an article, it is an essay. Wikipedia defines an "informal essay" as: characterized by "the personal element (self-revelation, individual tastes and experiences, confidential manner), humor, graceful style, rambling structure, unconventionality or novelty of theme," etc. > What did the sex part of it actually involve? The reason that this part is left to the imagination of the reader is that A) it is more powerful that way and B) the details don't really matter anyway to get the message and image across. These things should have been covered in your creative writing class too.

julianeon 3y ago

Funnily enough, your observation was the basis of my criticism. I can state it semi-socratically. What is this article about? A woman who did sex work at a massage parlor. Summarize what she did, then. I... can't. I actually thought in the beginning that it may have been sensual, not sexual. Then she described it as sex work - which changed my mind - so it was sexual (incidentally, I have heard this critiqued in pieces before in creative writing classes - preferably a reader should not read 1/2 of your story and then mentally have to reframe everything that came before a sentence which unintentionally repositions everything). And not to be indelicate but... how? What did the sex part of it actually involve? I can think of a whole lot of variations of that, which run a big gamut of intimacy and (I imagine) danger, but I can't tell you how she fit into that. The fact that she bought condoms partially answered that, but it's still an incomplete picture. Also if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend during that time, how she talked to her parents about this, friends - how was security handled, health, pregnancy - basic social/workplace questions - all a blank. Maybe these were limitations imposed by the magazine itself and (ironically enough) the very power structure that she mentions as a threat. But I couldn't tell you what she actually did as a masseuse, which seems like a weakness of the piece.

mensetmanusman 3y ago
It’s not the summary that matters, it’s the journey. Most people’s lives will end without a summary of accomplishments.
DJHenk 3y ago
> What is this article about? It is not an article, it is an essay. Wikipedia defines an "informal essay" as: characterized by "the personal element (self-revelation, individual tastes and experiences, confidential manner), humor, graceful style, rambling structure, unconventionality or novelty of theme," etc. > What did the sex part of it actually involve? The reason that this part is left to the imagination of the reader is that A) it is more powerful that way and B) the details don't really matter anyway to get the message and image across. These things should have been covered in your creative writing class too.