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IMO you try these in order: - Direct feedback to the manager about your needing space to work and their disruptive behavior. - Same feedback to their manager.

IMO you try these in order: - Direct feedback to the manager about your needing space to work and their disruptive behavior. - Same feedback to their manager. - Look for new jobs. There’s no way to solve this that avoids direct feedback and the possibility of confrontation.

tra3 3y ago
Confrontation seems like the nuclear option so I’d like to avoid that. In the spirit of incremental improvement, what’s the smallest action that you’d recommend that I can take?
- bluefishinit 3y ago
  Reach out and have a chat with a recruiter. Tell them about your situation (it's very unhealthy) and skill set and see what they have to say. You're currently employed, which is a great place to be while you look for new work. Have them bring you opportunities that are not just better than your current situation, but align with your ideal situation.
- marcod 3y ago
  I don't think things will improve if you don't say it's an issue (to either your mgr or theirs). If you say "hey, I'm the middle of working on X. Can't this wait until we have our 1:1?" do you think that wouldn't be well received? Also, maybe give them some information on how expensive context switching is.
- jdance 3y ago
  Seems this is about people skills. Some people are weird and annoying and you have to find ways to thrive even with their presence, or move to another project as others are suggesting Many different ways of dealing with it, - from not responding at all (I do this often when people just ”ping” without stating their business), - to asking what the matter is and if its urgent otherwise lets discuss it (a good while) later when I have time (I do this often too, my job is programming and requires focus time) - to just saying that you are busy right now Just a few ideas, find the guts to experiment and learn I actually rarely bring up these kind of issues with managers, I find its mostly about signaling and breaking the loop that annoying people thrive on. Learn to subtly draw a line, repeatedly if you must, without being confrontational

tra3 3y ago

Confrontation seems like the nuclear option so I’d like to avoid that. In the spirit of incremental improvement, what’s the smallest action that you’d recommend that I can take?

bluefishinit 3y ago
Reach out and have a chat with a recruiter. Tell them about your situation (it's very unhealthy) and skill set and see what they have to say. You're currently employed, which is a great place to be while you look for new work. Have them bring you opportunities that are not just better than your current situation, but align with your ideal situation.
marcod 3y ago
I don't think things will improve if you don't say it's an issue (to either your mgr or theirs). If you say "hey, I'm the middle of working on X. Can't this wait until we have our 1:1?" do you think that wouldn't be well received? Also, maybe give them some information on how expensive context switching is.
jdance 3y ago
Seems this is about people skills. Some people are weird and annoying and you have to find ways to thrive even with their presence, or move to another project as others are suggesting Many different ways of dealing with it, - from not responding at all (I do this often when people just ”ping” without stating their business), - to asking what the matter is and if its urgent otherwise lets discuss it (a good while) later when I have time (I do this often too, my job is programming and requires focus time) - to just saying that you are busy right now Just a few ideas, find the guts to experiment and learn I actually rarely bring up these kind of issues with managers, I find its mostly about signaling and breaking the loop that annoying people thrive on. Learn to subtly draw a line, repeatedly if you must, without being confrontational