> Would you be luckier to be her 1st, knowing that it would be short-lived and 22 others would follow after you? The answer is a definitive yes, from an emotio

> Would you be luckier to be her 1st, knowing that it would be short-lived and 22 others would follow after you? The answer is a definitive yes, from an emotional standpoint. When you are young, you make partner choices based on primal, raw desire. As you "age out" of your youth, start a career, etc, you make more practical partner choices based on provisioning capacity, conscientiousness, agreeableness, etc. Particularly when you are the sexual selector. The problem is that that primal desire never goes away, even though people get better at making practical choices. If you're #1, you have the emotional security of knowing that your partner loves you at a deep, primal, biological level. If you're #23, that emotional security is gone. You've been selected because you earn $X, you're stable, you're capable, and you get along well. And maybe that makes for a great partnership, in the sense that you could have a great partnership with your co-founder. But you still know, in the back of your mind, that your partner doesn't love you in a deep biological sense. You're a practical, rational choice. And your partner's body will never crave you like it does others. And in a world of no-fault divorce, it's a trivial matter for your partner to give in to just a taste of the old days. The word "insecurity" gets thrown around a lot here as some sort of pejorative. And it's true that #23 often has "insecurity issues", but those "issues" are not unfounded. Insecurity is often an emotional response to a genuine lack of security that actually exists in interpersonal relationships.