4 ms·

You had a very different experience in your 20’s and 30’s than I did! Maybe you could tell me your secret. Right now I’m single again- and, look, I’m thin and

You had a very different experience in your 20’s and 30’s than I did! Maybe you could tell me your secret. Right now I’m single again- and, look, I’m thin and athletic, no crows feet, no grey hair, no hair thinning, and I can still get it up like when I was 18, Im not ugly or funny looking, conventionally fairly good looking, I’m a software developer so I make good money- and nobody’s interested. I don’t honestly know why. Probably, it’s because I’m neurodivergent and I’m sending signals that I’m not aware of. But, it was the same in my 20’s. I got laid a couple times but nothing remotely like what you describe. I’m not sad or upset about it. It’s a fact of life. It’s always been like this for me. I have plenty of other stuff going on in my life and I have friends and I’m ok. I just have always wondered what it was about some guys that was so magically attractive? From the outside, it looks like it’s the guys who tick the boxes of being very, should I say, normal. The ones who hew closely to whatever popular culture says a real man should act like and dress like.

CuriouslyC 3y ago
Don't bother with advice from here, get a coach to review video of you interacting with women, or go on group dates with someone who knows what they're doing and observe you and give you pointers.
subpixel 3y ago
I'm no great looker but I think there's a bit of opposite-sex-amicability that's like athleticism - some have more than others and it's gone before you realize it's special. In all honesty I was a bit lonely in my 20s. I had very bad anxiety through college and didn't forge as many strong friendships in college as might be normal. Maybe it was a touch of desperation but I just went to NYC bars and shows and talked to people. Maybe 90% of what a woman is trying to establish is that you're not a creep or an asshat and I was pretty good at passing that test. I would not like to have to run that gauntlet today.
mensetmanusman 3y ago
It’s a different era, all the surveys show that ~~ “no one” is having sex. FOMO, phone zombies, zero community, etc are all partly to blame.

CuriouslyC 3y ago

Don't bother with advice from here, get a coach to review video of you interacting with women, or go on group dates with someone who knows what they're doing and observe you and give you pointers.

subpixel 3y ago

I'm no great looker but I think there's a bit of opposite-sex-amicability that's like athleticism - some have more than others and it's gone before you realize it's special. In all honesty I was a bit lonely in my 20s. I had very bad anxiety through college and didn't forge as many strong friendships in college as might be normal. Maybe it was a touch of desperation but I just went to NYC bars and shows and talked to people. Maybe 90% of what a woman is trying to establish is that you're not a creep or an asshat and I was pretty good at passing that test. I would not like to have to run that gauntlet today.

mensetmanusman 3y ago

It’s a different era, all the surveys show that ~~ “no one” is having sex. FOMO, phone zombies, zero community, etc are all partly to blame.