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Because men are predisposed to prefer women who have had fewer partners when it comes to long-term relationships. (when it comes to one night stands, they don't

Because men are predisposed to prefer women who have had fewer partners when it comes to long-term relationships. (when it comes to one night stands, they don't care.) One might argue that this preference is negative, or unfair, or something else. However, this preference is both durable over time and cross-cultural.

micromacrofoot 3y ago
Something existing for a long time doesn't make it fair, or even right. There are countless examples of people believing unfair and outright wrong things for centuries.
- everdrive 3y ago
  Yep, and that’s why I mentioned that the effect is “durable” rather than “morally correct.” My point is that I don’t think you’re going to get away from this preference. I’m not really addressing the moral value of it at all.
  - micromacrofoot 3y ago
    Ah I see, well I don't think we should be resigned to it. We've had male dominated societies for thousands of years, so it's going to take time. Our ability to think and move on from these primitive ideals is one of the more endearing facets of humanity.
    - everdrive 3y ago
      I just worry that this is a bit similar to saying “women should no longer have a preference for taller men. We’ve evolved past the point where a man’s physical prowess matters, and women should learn to be attracted to a shorter man just as much as a taller man.” It certainly might be _nice_ for the man if his height didn’t matter, but I don’t think you’re going to really budge women’s preferences here in a meaningful way, no matter what social programs you adopt.
      - micromacrofoot 3y ago
        Depends on the origins, as far as I can tell a lot of recent occurrence the "must be 6ft tall" is socially driven by dating app use (which enables more nuanced selectivity). For much of history (pre-industrialization) men weren't often as tall due to begin with, due to more prevalent nutrient deficits. Additionally, rather than trawling a site with thousands of men you were largely limited by your location for potential suitors, so you simply couldn't be as picky (if you had a choice at all, as women often didn't). I generally find that people need to be much more careful when discussing these kinds of topics. People are very quick to attribute certain attributes of desirability to biology, and there are no doubt common threads amongst humanity, but there have also been enormous swings in social trends that have ignored these factors.
        everdrive 3y ago
        It's pretty clear we disagree a bit here, but I just wanted to thank you for being thoughtful and respectful in your posts. It's something I'm not always perfect about myself, and it's part of what makes HN a better community.

micromacrofoot 3y ago

Something existing for a long time doesn't make it fair, or even right. There are countless examples of people believing unfair and outright wrong things for centuries.

everdrive 3y ago
Yep, and that’s why I mentioned that the effect is “durable” rather than “morally correct.” My point is that I don’t think you’re going to get away from this preference. I’m not really addressing the moral value of it at all.
- micromacrofoot 3y ago
  Ah I see, well I don't think we should be resigned to it. We've had male dominated societies for thousands of years, so it's going to take time. Our ability to think and move on from these primitive ideals is one of the more endearing facets of humanity.
  - everdrive 3y ago
    I just worry that this is a bit similar to saying “women should no longer have a preference for taller men. We’ve evolved past the point where a man’s physical prowess matters, and women should learn to be attracted to a shorter man just as much as a taller man.” It certainly might be _nice_ for the man if his height didn’t matter, but I don’t think you’re going to really budge women’s preferences here in a meaningful way, no matter what social programs you adopt.
    - micromacrofoot 3y ago
      Depends on the origins, as far as I can tell a lot of recent occurrence the "must be 6ft tall" is socially driven by dating app use (which enables more nuanced selectivity). For much of history (pre-industrialization) men weren't often as tall due to begin with, due to more prevalent nutrient deficits. Additionally, rather than trawling a site with thousands of men you were largely limited by your location for potential suitors, so you simply couldn't be as picky (if you had a choice at all, as women often didn't). I generally find that people need to be much more careful when discussing these kinds of topics. People are very quick to attribute certain attributes of desirability to biology, and there are no doubt common threads amongst humanity, but there have also been enormous swings in social trends that have ignored these factors.
      - everdrive 3y ago
        It's pretty clear we disagree a bit here, but I just wanted to thank you for being thoughtful and respectful in your posts. It's something I'm not always perfect about myself, and it's part of what makes HN a better community.