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>Why does her behavior before your relationship speak of her character, but her behavior during and after not speak of her character? When I enter a relationsh
by veave 3y ago
>Why does her behavior before your relationship speak of her character, but her behavior during and after not speak of her character?
When I enter a relationship, I cannot reliably predict what her behaviour will be during or after the relationship. But I can extrapolate what her current and future behaviour will be from her previous behaviour. Of course, I can guess wrong, but at least I tried.
The number of partners must equal the number of breakups. I don't see the practical difference? I say I want a partner who's had few partners, which means I want a partner who's had few breakups. A woman who's had more partners than breakups has had one or several one-night stands, and those are automatically discarded - I do not even consider them.
Also when I said I want someone with few partners and I am only interested in long relationships I thought it was implied that I was more interested in women whose few relationships had been long.
>a pattern of such relationships speaks poorly of their ability to identify compatibility in a partner
Maybe. But that's not necessarily her fault. My soft skills are very poor so I can't ask for more :) Also she could have had very bad luck. Not a strong reason to discard someone in my book, although it's something to take into account.
- RoyalHenOil 3y agoOk, I think I understand your position better now. However, I think maybe you misunderstood mine in my original comment: >When I enter a relationship, I cannot reliably predict what her behaviour will be during or after the relationship. But I can extrapolate what her current and future behaviour will be from her previous behaviour. This is the point I was trying to get at. Past behavior is the best predictor we have of future behavior, which is why it is valuable to date people who have a history of behavior for us to examine. It makes it easier to weed out bad matches from good matches. When people have no history of behavior (i.e., they are young and don't have a lot of life/dating experience), there is really no way to know what their future behavior will be. My main thrust is that early-age marriage is not actually a good thing. It is better for people to marry after they are more experienced, even if that experience reveals that maybe some people shouldn't marry at all (i.e., it is better that they never marry at all than that they get married young and later realize they shouldn't have). >The number of partners must equal the number of breakups. Yes, they are the same (I guess outside of ongoing polyamorous relationships). I just used that wording to emphasize the breaking-up aspects of these previous relationships.
- throwaway98797 3y agothat’s an unforgiving life view most have one life to live and they grow and adapt
- navjack27 3y ago> Past behavior is the best predictor we have of future behavior This kind of thinking needs to just go away. It's silly and doesn't allow for growth and change
- hyperliner 3y ago[dead]