3 ms·

I won't comment on some moral thing, having 23 partners can be entirely fine, but I think it depends on the intentionality.. Like, having 23 partners because,

by dusted 3y ago

I won't comment on some moral thing, having 23 partners can be entirely fine, but I think it depends on the intentionality.. Like, having 23 partners because, excuse my french "Elle voulait simplement baiser à tout va" is just fine (tm), they did what they want, and that tells nothing else about them that the fact they did what they enjoyed doing. On the other hand, if they were looking for the one true love and thought they'd find it in 23 different people, it may reveal something else about them.. That they prefer a type of partner which does not align with their goal. Or that they are a terrible judge of character. Or that they are easily manipulated in general. Those may be red flags in their own right, if those traits are undesirable to you.

Cthulhu_ 3y ago
But you're making assumptions about the intent already. What if they just enjoy casual sex? You seem to correlate that having sex or short relationships is already an attempt at finding a lifelong partner, which is... really a personal opinion. People go out, have short relationships / flings, one night stands without any intent other than have fun. It's fine. Let people have things.
- NoboruWataya 3y ago
  They specifically said it depends on intent and addressed both situations. So they were hardly making assumptions.
- IG_Semmelweiss 3y ago
  > What if they just enjoy casual sex? What if there is a diamond in a pile of garbage ? If someone legitimately enjoys casual sex AND has no baggage OR some kind of dark triad trait.. is that sort of person common, or rare? As for the act: If there's no harm to anyone, its great. ON that light, casual sounds logical. But is your own body just another playground ? Throughout history, there are numerous records of temperance being a virtue and hedonism being a vice. Coming from all sorts of corners. Its not as clear cut.
- dusted 3y ago
  I'm curious as to how you were able to get that idea from what I wrote. I'm making no assumptions _about_ intent. I'm saying whether it's a "red flag" depends _on_ intent (which is then assumed to be known, at least internally by said person(s)). I'm making no correlation between having causal sex and the attempt to establish a long-term relationship, I don't know how I could more explicitly define those as two different goals. Maybe if I write it in a more simplistic (albeit, less precise) way: * Many relationships may likely a red flag in a person who's seeking long-term relationships (ie, they're trying and failing very much, they're probably not a very good partner, or has very good judgement). * Many relationships are not a red flag in a person who's not seeking long-term relationships (they're doing their thing, and all is good, as long as you're aligned with that).

by dusted 3y ago

Cthulhu_ 3y ago

But you're making assumptions about the intent already. What if they just enjoy casual sex? You seem to correlate that having sex or short relationships is already an attempt at finding a lifelong partner, which is... really a personal opinion. People go out, have short relationships / flings, one night stands without any intent other than have fun. It's fine. Let people have things.

NoboruWataya 3y ago
They specifically said it depends on intent and addressed both situations. So they were hardly making assumptions.
IG_Semmelweiss 3y ago
> What if they just enjoy casual sex? What if there is a diamond in a pile of garbage ? If someone legitimately enjoys casual sex AND has no baggage OR some kind of dark triad trait.. is that sort of person common, or rare? As for the act: If there's no harm to anyone, its great. ON that light, casual sounds logical. But is your own body just another playground ? Throughout history, there are numerous records of temperance being a virtue and hedonism being a vice. Coming from all sorts of corners. Its not as clear cut.
dusted 3y ago
I'm curious as to how you were able to get that idea from what I wrote. I'm making no assumptions _about_ intent. I'm saying whether it's a "red flag" depends _on_ intent (which is then assumed to be known, at least internally by said person(s)). I'm making no correlation between having causal sex and the attempt to establish a long-term relationship, I don't know how I could more explicitly define those as two different goals. Maybe if I write it in a more simplistic (albeit, less precise) way: * Many relationships may likely a red flag in a person who's seeking long-term relationships (ie, they're trying and failing very much, they're probably not a very good partner, or has very good judgement). * Many relationships are not a red flag in a person who's not seeking long-term relationships (they're doing their thing, and all is good, as long as you're aligned with that).