I'd have no problem taking responsibility for my actions if my actions were "I implemented an unethical dark pattern for my employer because the alternative was

I'd have no problem taking responsibility for my actions if my actions were "I implemented an unethical dark pattern for my employer because the alternative was letting my kids starve". "I was just following orders" isn't an excuse, but I'd venture "I was feeding my children" IS a pretty good excuse. But that likely isn't the reality of the situation. If you're employed in software in the West it is very unlikely that your children are on the verge of starvation. Much more likely is that you might have to accept a slightly lower standard of living to work at companies that behave ethically, and I'm not particularly sympathetic to that.