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> when used by someone without a firm grasp on reality Implicit in this question is the idea that everyone viewing the thread is on the same page about why the

> when used by someone without a firm grasp on reality Implicit in this question is the idea that everyone viewing the thread is on the same page about why the person is spewing racist crap. This is never the case. Imagine you stumble upon a brand new forum, where you know nothing about the regulars or years of built-up social dynamics. You find someone making racist remarks, and everyone is just... fine with it. You have finite time before you die: you're not going to wait around to see if there's a good reason for it. The reasonable thing to do is write it off as a forum that tolerates racism and move on with your life. What do you want to do, flair people with "kind of crazy, don't worry if they say racist shit sometimes" labels? How are you planning to verify these people and tell them apart from people who just want to say racist shit? I guarantee there are a lot more of those than there are Terry Davises. This is, to put it gently, not scalable. I've seen this is at small scale, too. Tolerance leads to the problem getting worse over time. You need to stand up for your rules of conduct, and hope the offender learns the right lesson from it. If not, that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility, as a group leader or admin, is the environment everyone shares.

DonHopkins 3y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_stair https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_stair >The missing stair is a metaphor for a person within a social group who many people know is untrustworthy or otherwise has to be "managed," but around whom the group chooses to work by discreetly warning newcomers of their behavior, rather than address them and their behavior openly. The "missing stair" in the metaphor refers to a dangerous structural fault, such as a missing step in a staircase; a fault that people may become used to and quietly accepting of, is not openly signposted or fixed, and that newcomers to a social group are warned about discreetly. [...] >Meaning: The analogy of the missing stair makes it clear that the problem is the predator (the missing stair) and that the solution is stopping the predatory behavior (fixing the stair). >An article about industry sexual harassment on comics news site ComicsAlliance posed the question: "Which one of these statements makes more sense to say: 'These people need to find more ways to stop people from harming them.' OR: 'These people should stop causing harm.' If you ever find yourself saying the former instead of the latter, take a moment and ask yourself why."[3] >In a 2014 post on the anti-rape blog Yes Means Yes,[4] lawyer Thomas MacAulay Millar wrote that the missing stair analogy was consistent with his understanding of rapists' motivations and behaviors, based on research carried out by clinical psychologists David Lisak and Paul M. Miller, and by Stephanie K. McWhorter, a researcher with the U.S. Naval Health Research Center. Millar wrote that while a small number of rapists are "one-timers" who may be making a mistake or are confused about consent, the majority are repeat offenders, averaging six rapes each.[5] "We need to spot the rapists," Millar wrote, "and we need to shut down the social structures that give them a license to operate. They don't accidentally end up in a room with a woman too drunk or high to consent or resist; they plan on getting there and that's where they end up."[6]

DonHopkins 3y ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_stair https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_stair >The missing stair is a metaphor for a person within a social group who many people know is untrustworthy or otherwise has to be "managed," but around whom the group chooses to work by discreetly warning newcomers of their behavior, rather than address them and their behavior openly. The "missing stair" in the metaphor refers to a dangerous structural fault, such as a missing step in a staircase; a fault that people may become used to and quietly accepting of, is not openly signposted or fixed, and that newcomers to a social group are warned about discreetly. [...] >Meaning: The analogy of the missing stair makes it clear that the problem is the predator (the missing stair) and that the solution is stopping the predatory behavior (fixing the stair). >An article about industry sexual harassment on comics news site ComicsAlliance posed the question: "Which one of these statements makes more sense to say: 'These people need to find more ways to stop people from harming them.' OR: 'These people should stop causing harm.' If you ever find yourself saying the former instead of the latter, take a moment and ask yourself why."[3] >In a 2014 post on the anti-rape blog Yes Means Yes,[4] lawyer Thomas MacAulay Millar wrote that the missing stair analogy was consistent with his understanding of rapists' motivations and behaviors, based on research carried out by clinical psychologists David Lisak and Paul M. Miller, and by Stephanie K. McWhorter, a researcher with the U.S. Naval Health Research Center. Millar wrote that while a small number of rapists are "one-timers" who may be making a mistake or are confused about consent, the majority are repeat offenders, averaging six rapes each.[5] "We need to spot the rapists," Millar wrote, "and we need to shut down the social structures that give them a license to operate. They don't accidentally end up in a room with a woman too drunk or high to consent or resist; they plan on getting there and that's where they end up."[6]