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This vaguely reminds me of self-image problems vs. unreasonably beauty standards that we mainly associate with young women. It’s definitely quite different in
by AgentOrange1234 3y ago
This vaguely reminds me of self-image problems vs. unreasonably beauty standards that we mainly associate with young women.
It’s definitely quite different in that everyone in public sees a girl’s face and the shape of her body, whereas penises are hidden by default. Also the “toxic” standard for women is everywhere across media, whereas excepting pure pornography penises are rarely and briefly shown.
But these stories are so sad. These men feel ashamed of their bodies for not “measuring up” — is this phrase itself perhaps a link between penis size and masculinity/value that is ingrained into our very language?
There has been a big effort for years to call out the harms of, e.g., airbrushing in advertising, to push for including more plus-sized models, and to generally expand the notion of beauty for women.
I don’t think there’s any such effort to claim that, say, all penises are beautiful, all men are attractive, and so on. The mere suggestion seems utterly foreign to our conception of manhood. We have billionaires and presidents still boasting about their penises. What a crazy thing to make a point of pride and shame.
- TheCapeGreek 3y agoWith men it may be hidden, but it affects "measuring up" as you say in exactly the way that matters to most straight men: having more (or even any!) sexual partners, especially as supposedly they're having less sex than ever[0]. It's one of the many factors in the toolbox fallacy: "If only I was 'big' enough, I'd be more confident with women". [0]https://www.healthline.com/health-news/young-adults-especially-men-having-sex-less-frequently https://www.healthline.com/health-news/young-adults-especial...
- whimsicalism 3y agoI don't think it really impacts how many sexual partners you will have. Maybe repeats? But even then, doubt it. Preferences are disparate.
- TheCapeGreek 3y agoLike mumblemumble said - it's not about the reality. It's the assumption of "I'll be enough when X". "Repeats" are more likely an outcome of overall performance beyond size (though depending on the partner's preference, it will assist).
- mumblemumble 3y agoMaybe, but probably not the way it works out in the stories we tell ourselves. I vaguely remember a study making the rounds in the news a while back that found that, while women certainly do sometimes dump men or refuse to have sex with them over penis size, it's almost never because they think it's too small. I've certainly had to course correct over that sort of thing before. Fortunately good sex can be had without penetration. Though I appreciate that it could be socially costly for a straight man to suggest such a thing in public. But it might be good if it happens more often? The number of times that article mentioned suicide is deeply disheartening.