That expectation of sameness is exactly the problem. We don't all express ourselves or react in the same ways, despite whatever our HR training videos claim.

That expectation of sameness is exactly the problem. We don't all express ourselves or react in the same ways, despite whatever our HR training videos claim. When someone "yells at me," I tend to think they're excited and it piques my interest in what they're saying. At the same time, they're excited so I expect them to omit some details and not give me a complete picture - I'm less discerning about the details. Was that one of the responses I'm supposed to feel?