7 ms·

I've been three+ years sober, really can recommend. Life is much different now, things that used to be fun aren't anymore - but I'm making strong connections ne

by miduil 3y ago

I've been three+ years sober, really can recommend. Life is much different now, things that used to be fun aren't anymore - but I'm making strong connections nevertheless.

mentos 3y ago
Waking up early on a Saturday without a hangover is what I look forward to. I’ll just sit in bed and revel in it now ha
- SavageBeast 3y ago
  For my own personal experience, the worst part about drinking regularly - and I mean nightly if we're being at all honest - seems to be the people you meet. Having cut down drastically and switched from Volume Drinking kind of venues to Boutique Cocktail Venues I find I'm spending my time around a smaller, higher quality group of people while at the same time drinking less and enjoying my few drinks much more. [EDIT] I suppose in hanging out with drunks every evening, it normalized the idea of being drunk every night. What I was doing seemed normal because everyone I hung out with was doing the same thing. Thats a good way to start a bad habit.
  - theteapot 3y ago
    [flagged]
thisgoesnowhere 3y ago
I think we are overcorrecting to the extremes. You don't have to be sober or crippling drunk you can have a drink once in a while and it's fine.
- shaunxcode 3y ago
  It’s also ok to be completely sober. In general if someone tells you they are sober it’s not a great idea to suggest they have a drink on occasion.
  - yurishimo 3y ago
    I think their point was to a more general audience not the gp in particular.
  - klardotsh 3y ago
    Alcohol and caffeine are the only two drugs I can think of (okay, in some circles maybe cannabis too) where the response to "I cut this thing out of my life" is often "why?" or "you know you could still do a little?" One exercise to illustrate the ridiculousness and disrespect of phrases like that is to replace "alcohol" with "crack". "I don't do crack anymore" would basically never be responded to with "you know, you could still have a little crack every so often!", so what's the difference? Some folks don't do alcohol anymore. And whether that's for health reasons, for "I'm tired of dancing on the bartops" reasons, or just for "I got bored of the scene" reasons, that's their business.
    - Moomoomoo309 3y ago
      "Alcohol is humanity's oldest friend. How could I abandon a friend?" - Yang Wenli The difference is the huge influence alcohol has had on all human cultures throughout history. Yes, it's poison, but it's our poison.
      - CMCDragonkai 3y ago
        Plus 1 to the LOGH reference using it as if it was real historical person who said that.
      - ramraj07 3y ago
        Yep, carry a vice for long enough and it becomes a virtue. It takes a great mind to see this for the folly it is. So can't fault a normal person for not being able to.
      - lm28469 3y ago
        I'll tell that to my alcoholic mom next time I'm home and she's done downing her daily bottle of wine, I'm sure I'll feel much better
- yogurthewise 3y ago
  Agreed, I didn't stop drinking, but I cut way back on alcohol. I've found it greatly improved my health + well being.
  - thisgoesnowhere 3y ago
    Exactly! I think most people who drink need to cut back, also go do things with your friends that aren't just getting drinks. Its more fun to go for a hike or pickup a hobby/sport than to always drink. But that doesn't mean you can't have a ice cold beer on a beach with your friends. Moderation is the spice of life.
- Arch-TK 3y ago
  I think most people who say "I've been X years sober" are usually recovering alcoholics (or almost alcoholics). In most cases (except the cases described above), alcoholism is something people are predisposed to. Some people get a high from the process of getting drunk (and stop feeling that high once they are no longer getting more drunk) these people are the ones who usually become alcoholics if they don't just decide to stay sober permanently. As someone (e.g. me, and presumably you) who does not feel that high, it can be difficult to comprehend how some people feel like they end up on one of the two extremes. Then there are some people who have done something inappropriate, dangerous, illegal or otherwise unacceptable when drunk and decided to sober up permanently because they can't control themselves when they do get drunk (but otherwise do not have a drinking problem). I agree that totally rejecting alcohol is probably not useful life advice for most people, but hopefully the above explains why it is useful for some people.
  - FpUser 3y ago
    I am sober for about 15 years already. Woke up one morning after a party and the thought came - why the fuck am I doing it? Alcohol was fun at first, later it became utterly boring. No more fun and occasional hangover. Also I've never developed taste for any spirits / wines. So I just stopped. well I may have drank half a glass 1 or 2 times a year during some those 15 years but do not really make anything put of it. I've not taken an oath ;)
  - lxe 3y ago
    "alcoholic" is a loaded overused and archaic term. Just like any other health condition, alcohol use disorder, or AUD has a scale. The DSM has a handy guide that's super easy to diagnose where you are on the spectrum: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/sites/default/files/DSMfact.pdf https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/sites/default/files/DSMfact.pdf There are people who haven't done anything inappropriate, dangerous, or illegal, yet have ended up in a severe health crisis because they were thinking "hey... I didn't quite reach the threshold of "alcoholic" so I can just continue the lifestyle".
  - miduil 3y ago
    I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic or a drug addict either. Just made the conscious decision that no-alcohol has more benefits/is simpler for me than trying to balance things out.
- soligern 3y ago
  I get the humor but yes it is.
- AlwaysRock 3y ago
  Some people can. Many people cant. Many people also lie to themselves and others about how much they drink. Regardless, drinking is bad for you in a whole slew of ways. But sure. Some people can have a drink or two once in a while. Just like some people can smoke a cig or two once in a while. Just like some people can insert other thing that is unhealthy for you and addictive.
- barbazoo 3y ago
  There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with overcorrecting towards sobriety or is there an objective downside I'm missing?
  - thisgoesnowhere 3y ago
    Alcohol is a social lubricant in small quantities. I think the overcorrected to sobriety people forget that. I like a glass of wine with dinner for example I don't need to get plastered after for that to be enjoyable. If that shaves a year off my life I'm fine with that.
- amatecha 3y ago
  There are a lot of people who don't have the self-control to only "have a drink once in a while", and often their lives are adversely affected by their addition to alcohol. Don't suggest alcohol to people who have fought to stay sober and have to persistently work to resist the temptation.
nightfly 3y ago
What's not fun anymore?
- adhesive_wombat 3y ago
  For me: being around drunk people for hours on end gets very tedious and you're no longer desensitised to your eardrums being pounded into the centre of your brain by the "less talking, more drinking" music volume.
  - khalilravanna 3y ago
    God the absurdly loud music sucks. I don’t care what I’m inebriated by or how inebriated I am, it’s obnoxious. Bonus obnoxious-points to the restaurants who blast music. There’s two I can think of in Boston and while the food was great I’ll never go back because I could barely talk to my partner. Like, what’s the purpose of music that loud in that setting?
    - hnick 3y ago
      This is made worse by the modern sparse/industrial designs in a lot of newer restaurants. Exposed blank walls and wide open areas for echoes to proliferate. No carpet. No wall hangings. Concrete everywhere.
    - adhesive_wombat 3y ago
      I think the purpose is to make you drink more when you're there because you can't talk and then to get you to vamoose and free the table for another diner rather than having a pleasant-to-you but unprofitable-to-them postprandial chat.
- AndyKelley 3y ago
  * spending the evening playing video games that I've already spent a ton of hours on and am not getting any kind of new experience out of anymore * hanging out at a bar and talking to intoxicated people * house parties In exchange, new things are fun: * skateboarding * learning Japanese * building an arcade cabinet in my basement (I'm a software developer, very little experience with wood working and other hardware stuff) * waking up in the morning and being excited for the day
XorNot 3y ago
Never had a problem with alcohol, but post-30 I've decided to remove it entirely from my life. Even a little makes me feel off the next day, exacerbates IBS symptoms, and in general just hasn't been fun for a while. Plus no one needs those calories.
ta988 3y ago
Congrats on your 3 years!
symlinkk 3y ago
I have a couple drinks an night to unwind and I really enjoy it. And I go hard on the weekend when I want to.

by miduil 3y ago

I've been three+ years sober, really can recommend. Life is much different now, things that used to be fun aren't anymore - but I'm making strong connections nevertheless.

mentos 3y ago

Waking up early on a Saturday without a hangover is what I look forward to. I’ll just sit in bed and revel in it now ha

SavageBeast 3y ago
For my own personal experience, the worst part about drinking regularly - and I mean nightly if we're being at all honest - seems to be the people you meet. Having cut down drastically and switched from Volume Drinking kind of venues to Boutique Cocktail Venues I find I'm spending my time around a smaller, higher quality group of people while at the same time drinking less and enjoying my few drinks much more. [EDIT] I suppose in hanging out with drunks every evening, it normalized the idea of being drunk every night. What I was doing seemed normal because everyone I hung out with was doing the same thing. Thats a good way to start a bad habit.
- theteapot 3y ago
  [flagged]

thisgoesnowhere 3y ago

I think we are overcorrecting to the extremes. You don't have to be sober or crippling drunk you can have a drink once in a while and it's fine.

shaunxcode 3y ago
It’s also ok to be completely sober. In general if someone tells you they are sober it’s not a great idea to suggest they have a drink on occasion.
- yurishimo 3y ago
  I think their point was to a more general audience not the gp in particular.
- klardotsh 3y ago
  Alcohol and caffeine are the only two drugs I can think of (okay, in some circles maybe cannabis too) where the response to "I cut this thing out of my life" is often "why?" or "you know you could still do a little?" One exercise to illustrate the ridiculousness and disrespect of phrases like that is to replace "alcohol" with "crack". "I don't do crack anymore" would basically never be responded to with "you know, you could still have a little crack every so often!", so what's the difference? Some folks don't do alcohol anymore. And whether that's for health reasons, for "I'm tired of dancing on the bartops" reasons, or just for "I got bored of the scene" reasons, that's their business.
  - Moomoomoo309 3y ago
    "Alcohol is humanity's oldest friend. How could I abandon a friend?" - Yang Wenli The difference is the huge influence alcohol has had on all human cultures throughout history. Yes, it's poison, but it's our poison.
    - CMCDragonkai 3y ago
      Plus 1 to the LOGH reference using it as if it was real historical person who said that.
    - ramraj07 3y ago
      Yep, carry a vice for long enough and it becomes a virtue. It takes a great mind to see this for the folly it is. So can't fault a normal person for not being able to.
    - lm28469 3y ago
      I'll tell that to my alcoholic mom next time I'm home and she's done downing her daily bottle of wine, I'm sure I'll feel much better
yogurthewise 3y ago
Agreed, I didn't stop drinking, but I cut way back on alcohol. I've found it greatly improved my health + well being.
- thisgoesnowhere 3y ago
  Exactly! I think most people who drink need to cut back, also go do things with your friends that aren't just getting drinks. Its more fun to go for a hike or pickup a hobby/sport than to always drink. But that doesn't mean you can't have a ice cold beer on a beach with your friends. Moderation is the spice of life.
Arch-TK 3y ago
I think most people who say "I've been X years sober" are usually recovering alcoholics (or almost alcoholics). In most cases (except the cases described above), alcoholism is something people are predisposed to. Some people get a high from the process of getting drunk (and stop feeling that high once they are no longer getting more drunk) these people are the ones who usually become alcoholics if they don't just decide to stay sober permanently. As someone (e.g. me, and presumably you) who does not feel that high, it can be difficult to comprehend how some people feel like they end up on one of the two extremes. Then there are some people who have done something inappropriate, dangerous, illegal or otherwise unacceptable when drunk and decided to sober up permanently because they can't control themselves when they do get drunk (but otherwise do not have a drinking problem). I agree that totally rejecting alcohol is probably not useful life advice for most people, but hopefully the above explains why it is useful for some people.
- FpUser 3y ago
  I am sober for about 15 years already. Woke up one morning after a party and the thought came - why the fuck am I doing it? Alcohol was fun at first, later it became utterly boring. No more fun and occasional hangover. Also I've never developed taste for any spirits / wines. So I just stopped. well I may have drank half a glass 1 or 2 times a year during some those 15 years but do not really make anything put of it. I've not taken an oath ;)
- lxe 3y ago
  "alcoholic" is a loaded overused and archaic term. Just like any other health condition, alcohol use disorder, or AUD has a scale. The DSM has a handy guide that's super easy to diagnose where you are on the spectrum: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/sites/default/files/DSMfact.pdf https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/sites/default/files/DSMfact.pdf There are people who haven't done anything inappropriate, dangerous, or illegal, yet have ended up in a severe health crisis because they were thinking "hey... I didn't quite reach the threshold of "alcoholic" so I can just continue the lifestyle".
- miduil 3y ago
  I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic or a drug addict either. Just made the conscious decision that no-alcohol has more benefits/is simpler for me than trying to balance things out.
soligern 3y ago
I get the humor but yes it is.
AlwaysRock 3y ago
Some people can. Many people cant. Many people also lie to themselves and others about how much they drink. Regardless, drinking is bad for you in a whole slew of ways. But sure. Some people can have a drink or two once in a while. Just like some people can smoke a cig or two once in a while. Just like some people can insert other thing that is unhealthy for you and addictive.
barbazoo 3y ago
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with overcorrecting towards sobriety or is there an objective downside I'm missing?
- thisgoesnowhere 3y ago
  Alcohol is a social lubricant in small quantities. I think the overcorrected to sobriety people forget that. I like a glass of wine with dinner for example I don't need to get plastered after for that to be enjoyable. If that shaves a year off my life I'm fine with that.
amatecha 3y ago
There are a lot of people who don't have the self-control to only "have a drink once in a while", and often their lives are adversely affected by their addition to alcohol. Don't suggest alcohol to people who have fought to stay sober and have to persistently work to resist the temptation.

nightfly 3y ago

What's not fun anymore?

adhesive_wombat 3y ago
For me: being around drunk people for hours on end gets very tedious and you're no longer desensitised to your eardrums being pounded into the centre of your brain by the "less talking, more drinking" music volume.
- khalilravanna 3y ago
  God the absurdly loud music sucks. I don’t care what I’m inebriated by or how inebriated I am, it’s obnoxious. Bonus obnoxious-points to the restaurants who blast music. There’s two I can think of in Boston and while the food was great I’ll never go back because I could barely talk to my partner. Like, what’s the purpose of music that loud in that setting?
  - hnick 3y ago
    This is made worse by the modern sparse/industrial designs in a lot of newer restaurants. Exposed blank walls and wide open areas for echoes to proliferate. No carpet. No wall hangings. Concrete everywhere.
  - adhesive_wombat 3y ago
    I think the purpose is to make you drink more when you're there because you can't talk and then to get you to vamoose and free the table for another diner rather than having a pleasant-to-you but unprofitable-to-them postprandial chat.
AndyKelley 3y ago
* spending the evening playing video games that I've already spent a ton of hours on and am not getting any kind of new experience out of anymore * hanging out at a bar and talking to intoxicated people * house parties In exchange, new things are fun: * skateboarding * learning Japanese * building an arcade cabinet in my basement (I'm a software developer, very little experience with wood working and other hardware stuff) * waking up in the morning and being excited for the day

XorNot 3y ago

Never had a problem with alcohol, but post-30 I've decided to remove it entirely from my life. Even a little makes me feel off the next day, exacerbates IBS symptoms, and in general just hasn't been fun for a while. Plus no one needs those calories.

ta988 3y ago

Congrats on your 3 years!

symlinkk 3y ago

I have a couple drinks an night to unwind and I really enjoy it. And I go hard on the weekend when I want to.