4 ms·

My young kids would be totally unaware if they were bumping into others, or causing them to stop abruptly, or otherwise interfering with others. Of course if t

My young kids would be totally unaware if they were bumping into others, or causing them to stop abruptly, or otherwise interfering with others. Of course if those strangers yelled at them or provided some less harsh form of feedback it might register with them, but I find most people don't say anything so it's on me to let my kids know the effects they're behavior is having.

ryandrake 3y ago
> I find most people don't say anything so it's on me to let my kids know the effects they're behavior is having. People are terrified of saying anything because of the likely reaction of the kids' parents. The "it takes a village" mindset is gone. If someone's kid runs into you and you so much as say "excuse me" to them, you risk the parents getting in your face, holding up their cellphone camera, yelling "You don't talk to my kids. Go mind your damn business, Karen!" Not worth it--so bad behavior in public goes uncorrected. Even when kids aren't involved, people's reaction more and more to public criticism/correction is to get belligerent and tell you to mind your business.
- dghlsakjg 3y ago
  Truly. I was at a park concert once, the kind where everyone is sitting, and there was a large family in front of me. One of the kids (around 12 I would guess, old enough in any case) kept standing up, roaming around, and generally blocking the view of the people behind him, even though he wasn't watching the show (he was literally munching on snacks and facing back in the crowd). I wouldn't have cared if he was excited, dancing, enjoying the show, but that was just not the case. I asked him if he could sit down so I could see. His dad immediately got in my face and demanded that I apologize to his son. He didn't leave until the police got involved.
  - nly 3y ago
    Awful parents breed awful kids.
- watwut 3y ago
  Genuinely, I am not terrified. I just do not care all that much about other people's kids. In interactions I had or seen with parents or kids, literally never did any parent yelled at me or anyone else for saying "excuse me" or "that is mine". But fundamentally, keeping control Iverson a kid is on parent and I don't think about bumping kids enough to form a sentence. I just expect parents to tell them cause it is their job and in this story, the parent in fact intervened.
uoaei 3y ago
Sure, it's important to give them feedback. That's a different thing from merely thinking for them, however. A (brief) conversation about the effects they may have on others and the feelings they expect others to have would go a long way toward engendering more pro-social considerations.
- c22 3y ago
  Perhaps the parent had these discussions with the kids before and 'Control yourselves!' was just a short-hand reminder to exercise some self-control. I wasn't there, so I have no context, but nothing about your story made it sound like the dad was thinking for the kids. (I'd expect that to sound more like 'Stop taking up the wnole sidewalk! Line up single file! Stand still!')
  - uoaei 3y ago
    I've seen a lot of kids who "have ADHD" when what they really have are parents who are so anxious they won't let kids act for themselves due to dubious and worn-out "safety" arguments. Then the compulsion they develop is to fit in as much acting-out into their schedule as possible. This appeared to me another case of that.

ryandrake 3y ago

> I find most people don't say anything so it's on me to let my kids know the effects they're behavior is having. People are terrified of saying anything because of the likely reaction of the kids' parents. The "it takes a village" mindset is gone. If someone's kid runs into you and you so much as say "excuse me" to them, you risk the parents getting in your face, holding up their cellphone camera, yelling "You don't talk to my kids. Go mind your damn business, Karen!" Not worth it--so bad behavior in public goes uncorrected. Even when kids aren't involved, people's reaction more and more to public criticism/correction is to get belligerent and tell you to mind your business.

dghlsakjg 3y ago
Truly. I was at a park concert once, the kind where everyone is sitting, and there was a large family in front of me. One of the kids (around 12 I would guess, old enough in any case) kept standing up, roaming around, and generally blocking the view of the people behind him, even though he wasn't watching the show (he was literally munching on snacks and facing back in the crowd). I wouldn't have cared if he was excited, dancing, enjoying the show, but that was just not the case. I asked him if he could sit down so I could see. His dad immediately got in my face and demanded that I apologize to his son. He didn't leave until the police got involved.
- nly 3y ago
  Awful parents breed awful kids.
watwut 3y ago
Genuinely, I am not terrified. I just do not care all that much about other people's kids. In interactions I had or seen with parents or kids, literally never did any parent yelled at me or anyone else for saying "excuse me" or "that is mine". But fundamentally, keeping control Iverson a kid is on parent and I don't think about bumping kids enough to form a sentence. I just expect parents to tell them cause it is their job and in this story, the parent in fact intervened.

uoaei 3y ago

Sure, it's important to give them feedback. That's a different thing from merely thinking for them, however. A (brief) conversation about the effects they may have on others and the feelings they expect others to have would go a long way toward engendering more pro-social considerations.

c22 3y ago
Perhaps the parent had these discussions with the kids before and 'Control yourselves!' was just a short-hand reminder to exercise some self-control. I wasn't there, so I have no context, but nothing about your story made it sound like the dad was thinking for the kids. (I'd expect that to sound more like 'Stop taking up the wnole sidewalk! Line up single file! Stand still!')
- uoaei 3y ago
  I've seen a lot of kids who "have ADHD" when what they really have are parents who are so anxious they won't let kids act for themselves due to dubious and worn-out "safety" arguments. Then the compulsion they develop is to fit in as much acting-out into their schedule as possible. This appeared to me another case of that.