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Sure, but are you maximizing his college admissions chances via skills in carefully selected activities in order to stand out? (mostly joking, but this is how a

Sure, but are you maximizing his college admissions chances via skills in carefully selected activities in order to stand out? (mostly joking, but this is how a lot of people approach scheduling these days)

gloryjulio 3y ago
I agree. You get to be really careful where you want to put ur skill points. Play time is part of the skill tree too ;) Full scheduling of random stuff doesn't mean it would always help the children. It's the children's version of appearing busy.
- mrguyorama 3y ago
  A full schedule is bad for a kid. They need to learn how to keep themselves entertained, or plan their own activities, or manage their own time, and they can't do that if they get a day plan from sun up to sun down.
  - shard 3y ago
    Kids can keep themselves entertained very easily nowadays, YouTube/Tiktok/games can suck hours away in the blink of an eye. It's not like when I was young where going outside and hanging out with friends was the most fun choice.
    - atonse 3y ago
      As a tech person I long for the days of limited choices. In this age of extreme abundance, we have lost the ability to just daydream, people watch, etc. I’m not glamorizing being bored. I used to hate waiting for 30 mins for the bus. Sorry this is something I lecture my kids about a lot! :-)
atonse 3y ago
haha I have been maximizing the annoyance level of my parents and others by telling my kids these things: - don’t focus on GPA, focus on actually gaining knowledge and understanding how the world works. good grades are a measure of how you understand things. they should never be the goal. I was a C student and I am more curious about things than many of my peers with fancy degrees. - forge your own path, there is always a thousand different paths out there. College is just one. - no replacement for hard work. don’t expect anything in life. anything worth getting, you’ll have to compete with many others to get it so learn to be a good competitor. - college should be approached with all the tradeoffs and as any other investment. We’ve told them we will not pay for their college. so they will have to make choices about getting the best bang for your buck. We’re the only parents in our whole social circle that aren’t saving for their college. it feels weird and isolating when that topic comes up. - first think about the kind of life you want and then make choices to get you that life. they’re already sick if my lectures. and they’re 10 and 5. :-)
- jzawodn 3y ago
  I wish I could upvote more than once.
- m-ee 3y ago
  Assuming you’re American you are really screwing then over by not paying for college. The FAFSA assumes a parental contribution. It’s not just other parents, but the federal government and all the colleges themselves that have the expectation that you will contribute. There’s no exemption for “I want to teach my kids financial responsibility”. If you’re high income your children will be ineligible for any financial aid and have few options for funding their own education.
  - AlgorithmicTime 3y ago
    There's always the Post-9/11 GI Bill. 36 months of tuition at the most expensive in-state rate in whatever state you attend school in plus Basic Allowance for Housing equal to an E5 with dependents is quite good.
  - surge 3y ago
    The problem was they never factor in the single mom with 3 kids, she made "enough" that I qualified for less grants, but she still had 2 other kids to raise and also help put through college since we were only a couple years apart. The FAFSA is such a crappy measuring stick for college affordability. I ended up having to make up the difference with loans, now it wouldn't be feasible.
  - atonse 3y ago
    Not at all true. They can choose to go to very good public universities with in state tuition (often around $10-12k per year). We can sit down and discuss the tradeoffs of the degree they are getting vs the earning power of that degree. And the tradeoffs between being a commuter student and one that lives on campus. Or saving money by attending community college the first two years. NONE of those conversations will happen if I struggle to save 200k per kid and they simply don’t understand the concept of having to pay that back somewhere. Or ever think about whether a particular degree has any real value. This is part of the problem with just going along with the high fees and running that rat race.
kelseyfrog 3y ago
When does little Johnny learn intrapersonal skills, conflict resolution skills, active listening skills, how to build and maintain friendship skills, or self-determination skills?

gloryjulio 3y ago

I agree. You get to be really careful where you want to put ur skill points. Play time is part of the skill tree too ;) Full scheduling of random stuff doesn't mean it would always help the children. It's the children's version of appearing busy.

mrguyorama 3y ago
A full schedule is bad for a kid. They need to learn how to keep themselves entertained, or plan their own activities, or manage their own time, and they can't do that if they get a day plan from sun up to sun down.
- shard 3y ago
  Kids can keep themselves entertained very easily nowadays, YouTube/Tiktok/games can suck hours away in the blink of an eye. It's not like when I was young where going outside and hanging out with friends was the most fun choice.
  - atonse 3y ago
    As a tech person I long for the days of limited choices. In this age of extreme abundance, we have lost the ability to just daydream, people watch, etc. I’m not glamorizing being bored. I used to hate waiting for 30 mins for the bus. Sorry this is something I lecture my kids about a lot! :-)

atonse 3y ago

haha I have been maximizing the annoyance level of my parents and others by telling my kids these things: - don’t focus on GPA, focus on actually gaining knowledge and understanding how the world works. good grades are a measure of how you understand things. they should never be the goal. I was a C student and I am more curious about things than many of my peers with fancy degrees. - forge your own path, there is always a thousand different paths out there. College is just one. - no replacement for hard work. don’t expect anything in life. anything worth getting, you’ll have to compete with many others to get it so learn to be a good competitor. - college should be approached with all the tradeoffs and as any other investment. We’ve told them we will not pay for their college. so they will have to make choices about getting the best bang for your buck. We’re the only parents in our whole social circle that aren’t saving for their college. it feels weird and isolating when that topic comes up. - first think about the kind of life you want and then make choices to get you that life. they’re already sick if my lectures. and they’re 10 and 5. :-)

jzawodn 3y ago
I wish I could upvote more than once.
m-ee 3y ago
Assuming you’re American you are really screwing then over by not paying for college. The FAFSA assumes a parental contribution. It’s not just other parents, but the federal government and all the colleges themselves that have the expectation that you will contribute. There’s no exemption for “I want to teach my kids financial responsibility”. If you’re high income your children will be ineligible for any financial aid and have few options for funding their own education.
- AlgorithmicTime 3y ago
  There's always the Post-9/11 GI Bill. 36 months of tuition at the most expensive in-state rate in whatever state you attend school in plus Basic Allowance for Housing equal to an E5 with dependents is quite good.
- surge 3y ago
  The problem was they never factor in the single mom with 3 kids, she made "enough" that I qualified for less grants, but she still had 2 other kids to raise and also help put through college since we were only a couple years apart. The FAFSA is such a crappy measuring stick for college affordability. I ended up having to make up the difference with loans, now it wouldn't be feasible.
- atonse 3y ago
  Not at all true. They can choose to go to very good public universities with in state tuition (often around $10-12k per year). We can sit down and discuss the tradeoffs of the degree they are getting vs the earning power of that degree. And the tradeoffs between being a commuter student and one that lives on campus. Or saving money by attending community college the first two years. NONE of those conversations will happen if I struggle to save 200k per kid and they simply don’t understand the concept of having to pay that back somewhere. Or ever think about whether a particular degree has any real value. This is part of the problem with just going along with the high fees and running that rat race.

kelseyfrog 3y ago

When does little Johnny learn intrapersonal skills, conflict resolution skills, active listening skills, how to build and maintain friendship skills, or self-determination skills?