5 ms·

I wish people would say why they are downvoting you. Because, in my experience, you are right on. I assume the downvoters disagree, but, why do they disagree?

zdragnar 3y ago
I didn't vote, but I find myself a little confused. I suspect the whole "upper middle class" bit has to be a regional thing; it simply doesn't fit my experiences at all. Around where I live, there's certainly no stigma at all about being a picky eater, or at least not one that's in any way specific to a social class. Plenty of people have preferences, and there's no shortage of places to go that offer genetic (casual or fine) dining that everyone will accept.
- Filligree 3y ago
  Contrary: There absolutely is such a stigma here, and it gets people socially in trouble if they’re picky. I suppose it varies, but it only needs to be true some of the time for CCF to be profitable.
  - coldtea 3y ago
    It's not exactly about "here" or "there". It's more about people in peer groups preoccupied with class distinctions, vs, say, 90% of Americans who could not give less fucks about it. Region plays a role in the distribution and size of such peer groups though.
    - constantly 3y ago
      Class distinction is a second order effect and isn’t really the topic being discussed. The primary mover is pickiness, which does generally track with class.
      - ghaff 3y ago
        And class tends to also correlate with having traveled a lot which at least tracks with developing a more varied appetite for different foods. Added: Per another comment, people can also be picky not with respect to not eating unusual foods but with respect to not eating mediocre food.
  - proamdev123 3y ago
    > it gets people socially in trouble if they’re picky. What does it look like when somebody gets “socially in trouble” for being picky? What actually happens to them (socially) in this instance? I’ve never seen or heard of anything like this, so I’m really curious about it.
    - ghaff 3y ago
      I’m not sure if I’d use the term but if someone in a group is constantly high maintenance with respect to food, both the group and they themselves probably lose interest in paddling against the current. It’s not even really pickiness per se. If some group always wants to just eat fast food I’m going to be less inclined to join them. No value judgement. Just not my thing.
    - yoshamano 3y ago
      A mostly disappointing meal for everyone involved. If you know someone is picky ahead of time the meal can be steered towards a place that's accommodating. If, however, everyone is surprised by the picky eater then you're left with some disappointing choices. You either ruin everyone's expectations by changing to a different restaurant at the last minute, or you watch the picky eater try to make the best of what they probably consider a bad situation. Maybe they try something new and hope they like it, but most likely they order the blandest thing they can and everyone gets to feel a little bad about the person ordering a bowl of plain noodles for dinner so they can all eat at the place they planned on/wanted to.
      - OkayPhysicist 3y ago
        And of course, people don't want to spend time with people who make them feel bad, so the picky eater will gradually be pushed to the fringe, and left out of plans.
- coldtea 3y ago
  If one's position and circle is below the class threshold that cares for these things, such a stigma would be invisible - it just wouldn't be a thing that they'd have seen in their lived experience. And, here's the hook to what you say regarding it being a regional thing: this class distinctions are also applied at the regional level. E.g. whole states can be considered "lower social class" (regardless if they have millionaires or well off upper middle class people and so on). In "high class" states or circles within a state, though, the stigma would a quite real thing (even if it's just an inconsequental matter, as seen from outside). It's not about wealth levels either, as class concerns are just as high in stressed-to-appear-appropriately-high-class aspiring classes, that make less than what a developer does, but their circles are all about class distinctions and their shibboleths. The stereotypical "New Yorker" reader would be a total weirdo about such matters, even more stressed and awkward about following all the BS rules than people actually belonging to the 0.1%. But even if you are a billionaire, you can be the low-class butt of the joke to "old money" types. (That's my understanding of the US class system on this matter - there are some quite good books about it, "Class" by Paul Fussell is quite good. It's also a subject that certain kinds of literature and journalism wont shut up about).
  - Animats 3y ago
    > "Class" by Paul Fussell is quite good. Indeed.
  - kuhewa 3y ago
    > this class distinctions are also applied at the regional level. Living in Hawai'i it would strike me how popular CCF was for people that came all that way (typically middle class Americans) and have access to tons of great variety in ethnic places they may not at home, along with local joints that would serve familiar food with the option of local flavour. But some of these comments put it in good context, that it is the familiar and safe choice and has a special or semi-fancy vibe to a large subset of those people. I don't think I've eaten in one since I was a preteen and may have only been once, but come to think of it, at the time I grew up rural 45 minutes to the nearest small city, eating at cheesecake factory did seem like a special occasion.
- kuhewa 3y ago
  Do you know any adults who will literally only eat chicken tenders or a cheeseburger at restaurants, thus Thai/Vietnamese/Indian/new hip joint, etc. are not going to work?
  - ghaff 3y ago
    I would observe that there’s a reason steakhouses are often a standard for customer dinners. They’re also usually at least so-so fish and vegetable options but nothing is too adventurous and they’re considered a safe upscale choice.

zdragnar 3y ago

I didn't vote, but I find myself a little confused. I suspect the whole "upper middle class" bit has to be a regional thing; it simply doesn't fit my experiences at all. Around where I live, there's certainly no stigma at all about being a picky eater, or at least not one that's in any way specific to a social class. Plenty of people have preferences, and there's no shortage of places to go that offer genetic (casual or fine) dining that everyone will accept.

Filligree 3y ago
Contrary: There absolutely is such a stigma here, and it gets people socially in trouble if they’re picky. I suppose it varies, but it only needs to be true some of the time for CCF to be profitable.
- coldtea 3y ago
  It's not exactly about "here" or "there". It's more about people in peer groups preoccupied with class distinctions, vs, say, 90% of Americans who could not give less fucks about it. Region plays a role in the distribution and size of such peer groups though.
  - constantly 3y ago
    Class distinction is a second order effect and isn’t really the topic being discussed. The primary mover is pickiness, which does generally track with class.
    - ghaff 3y ago
      And class tends to also correlate with having traveled a lot which at least tracks with developing a more varied appetite for different foods. Added: Per another comment, people can also be picky not with respect to not eating unusual foods but with respect to not eating mediocre food.
- proamdev123 3y ago
  > it gets people socially in trouble if they’re picky. What does it look like when somebody gets “socially in trouble” for being picky? What actually happens to them (socially) in this instance? I’ve never seen or heard of anything like this, so I’m really curious about it.
  - ghaff 3y ago
    I’m not sure if I’d use the term but if someone in a group is constantly high maintenance with respect to food, both the group and they themselves probably lose interest in paddling against the current. It’s not even really pickiness per se. If some group always wants to just eat fast food I’m going to be less inclined to join them. No value judgement. Just not my thing.
  - yoshamano 3y ago
    A mostly disappointing meal for everyone involved. If you know someone is picky ahead of time the meal can be steered towards a place that's accommodating. If, however, everyone is surprised by the picky eater then you're left with some disappointing choices. You either ruin everyone's expectations by changing to a different restaurant at the last minute, or you watch the picky eater try to make the best of what they probably consider a bad situation. Maybe they try something new and hope they like it, but most likely they order the blandest thing they can and everyone gets to feel a little bad about the person ordering a bowl of plain noodles for dinner so they can all eat at the place they planned on/wanted to.
    - OkayPhysicist 3y ago
      And of course, people don't want to spend time with people who make them feel bad, so the picky eater will gradually be pushed to the fringe, and left out of plans.
coldtea 3y ago
If one's position and circle is below the class threshold that cares for these things, such a stigma would be invisible - it just wouldn't be a thing that they'd have seen in their lived experience. And, here's the hook to what you say regarding it being a regional thing: this class distinctions are also applied at the regional level. E.g. whole states can be considered "lower social class" (regardless if they have millionaires or well off upper middle class people and so on). In "high class" states or circles within a state, though, the stigma would a quite real thing (even if it's just an inconsequental matter, as seen from outside). It's not about wealth levels either, as class concerns are just as high in stressed-to-appear-appropriately-high-class aspiring classes, that make less than what a developer does, but their circles are all about class distinctions and their shibboleths. The stereotypical "New Yorker" reader would be a total weirdo about such matters, even more stressed and awkward about following all the BS rules than people actually belonging to the 0.1%. But even if you are a billionaire, you can be the low-class butt of the joke to "old money" types. (That's my understanding of the US class system on this matter - there are some quite good books about it, "Class" by Paul Fussell is quite good. It's also a subject that certain kinds of literature and journalism wont shut up about).
- Animats 3y ago
  > "Class" by Paul Fussell is quite good. Indeed.
- kuhewa 3y ago
  > this class distinctions are also applied at the regional level. Living in Hawai'i it would strike me how popular CCF was for people that came all that way (typically middle class Americans) and have access to tons of great variety in ethnic places they may not at home, along with local joints that would serve familiar food with the option of local flavour. But some of these comments put it in good context, that it is the familiar and safe choice and has a special or semi-fancy vibe to a large subset of those people. I don't think I've eaten in one since I was a preteen and may have only been once, but come to think of it, at the time I grew up rural 45 minutes to the nearest small city, eating at cheesecake factory did seem like a special occasion.
kuhewa 3y ago
Do you know any adults who will literally only eat chicken tenders or a cheeseburger at restaurants, thus Thai/Vietnamese/Indian/new hip joint, etc. are not going to work?
- ghaff 3y ago
  I would observe that there’s a reason steakhouses are often a standard for customer dinners. They’re also usually at least so-so fish and vegetable options but nothing is too adventurous and they’re considered a safe upscale choice.