3 ms·
I've actually experienced this. I was diagnosed bipolar after a rather severe psychotic break. Up to that point I had defined my life as being a terrible person
by kayodelycaon 3y ago
I've actually experienced this. I was diagnosed bipolar after a rather severe psychotic break. Up to that point I had defined my life as being a terrible person striving to become better.
Medication very quickly showed me I was not a terrible person, but that I was suffering severely from mania and even more dangerous paranoia.
As I stabilized, everything that defined me was stripped away, leaving an empty husk. I very quickly realized as traumatic at this was, it was a start to healing and an enormous opportunity. During that process, I got to choose who I would become.
Now, a few years later, I'm happy with who I am and plan to keep improving. Medication has allowed me to sit down and focus on creative things instead of being overwhelmed and scared all the time.
- l33tbro 3y agoThank you gor sharing this. I'm glad you found a way through. It must have been extremely difficult to confront and accept these realities. Seems pretty brave to me.
- kayodelycaon 3y agoI’m not sure I’m brave. I deal with all kinds of mental bullshit every single day. Navigating it is as natural as breathing. I like to compare what happened to a paint clay pot being thrown at a wall. There was no “me” anymore. Shortly after that happened, I did the obvious thing. I sat down on the floor and gathered up all of the pieces. Then I sorted through them and decided which ones I liked. Then I looked at a few other pots to fill in the gaps. Then I glued it all back together, kind of like Kintsugi. That’s the only approach I considered. Giving up or letting someone else take responsibility never occurred to me.
- lazide 3y agoOr you wouldn't let yourself see them, because you knew giving up meant destruction (or turning into something terrible), and no one else could be relied on to take responsibility in a way that would help you - or doing so could/would be used to hurt you. So you did what needed to be done. As scary as it might have been, if you'd allowed yourself to think about it. That meets the definition of brave to me, personally. My apologies if this disrespectful. Good job, and respect.