4 ms·

I really don't know either. When it works for me though, I think it looks like people going out of their way to point the finger at themselves, and nobody going

I really don't know either. When it works for me though, I think it looks like people going out of their way to point the finger at themselves, and nobody going out of their way to wag a follow-up finger at them. I'm not sure hiding it would be helpful, but I haven't tried that.

jstarfish 3y ago
> When it works for me though, I think it looks like people going out of their way to point the finger at themselves, and nobody going out of their way to wag a follow-up finger at them. This is how I prefer it too, but the problem is that honesty is a luxury when times are good. When times aren't so good, having a self-documented history of failure doesn't help your case for retention when the jerk next to you who deflects everything appears to be a golden boy. > I'm not sure hiding it would be helpful, but I haven't tried that. From the police playbook: after raising awareness of a problem, proactively make excuses for other teams and/or deflect blame to a vendor ("we don't know it's that team's fault; they're understaffed and we don't know what they're having to deal with over there; give them a break because nobody can understand the vendor's fucking incoherent documentation and their software is garbage anyway"). Confusing the issues and misdirecting blame gives the team time to address the problem while saving face. Everybody hates Microsoft anyway so they're an easy scapegoat. (Sorry, Microsoft employees.) For better or worse, it fosters a culture where people cover for each other, not throw each other under the bus. This is how you wrangle even the most toxic Narcissists-- they recognize and appreciate when someone's doing them a public favor, and (IME) this compels them to respond in kind because they'll want to one-up you as everyone's savior. (We're starting to see this with all the moral crusading and self-appointed "safety" workers. All Narcissists.)

jstarfish 3y ago

> When it works for me though, I think it looks like people going out of their way to point the finger at themselves, and nobody going out of their way to wag a follow-up finger at them. This is how I prefer it too, but the problem is that honesty is a luxury when times are good. When times aren't so good, having a self-documented history of failure doesn't help your case for retention when the jerk next to you who deflects everything appears to be a golden boy. > I'm not sure hiding it would be helpful, but I haven't tried that. From the police playbook: after raising awareness of a problem, proactively make excuses for other teams and/or deflect blame to a vendor ("we don't know it's that team's fault; they're understaffed and we don't know what they're having to deal with over there; give them a break because nobody can understand the vendor's fucking incoherent documentation and their software is garbage anyway"). Confusing the issues and misdirecting blame gives the team time to address the problem while saving face. Everybody hates Microsoft anyway so they're an easy scapegoat. (Sorry, Microsoft employees.) For better or worse, it fosters a culture where people cover for each other, not throw each other under the bus. This is how you wrangle even the most toxic Narcissists-- they recognize and appreciate when someone's doing them a public favor, and (IME) this compels them to respond in kind because they'll want to one-up you as everyone's savior. (We're starting to see this with all the moral crusading and self-appointed "safety" workers. All Narcissists.)