8 ms·

I find it weird that the writer wrote so much without saying, precisely, the nature of the day-dreams. Perhaps not so much Maladaptive Daydreaming as Maladaptiv

I find it weird that the writer wrote so much without saying, precisely, the nature of the day-dreams. Perhaps not so much Maladaptive Daydreaming as Maladaptive Living? If these thoughts consume you, maybe you need to make a more tangible change in your life than pathologizing your own thoughts. Don't dream it, be it, you know?

blackkettle 3y ago
I also found it odd looking through the whole piece waiting for an example only to reach the end with no idea what these daydreams actually are?
- feintruled 3y ago
  I have this (or something like it). You basically can retreat into a fantasy world that plays out like a movie with yourself as the main character. You can run through any number of imagined Walter Mitty scenarios and feel at least some echo of the emotions - enough to make it quite addictive. It's your standard power fantasy stuff really - imagine the gamut of those Reddit anecdotes that end with "and everyone burst into applause" the whole way up into being world king (why not, it's your daydream!) So playing out scenarios in your head, essentially. Might sound harmless - there is no question of confusing these daydreams with reality - but you can find yourself retreating into the same ones again and again in a loop, especially when triggered by alcohol or music. I could put on my favourite songs and fantasize literally for hours, replaying the emotions. Endlessly scratching an endless itch. Obviously this might not be conducive with a productive life! I guess it would serve one well in solitary confinement. I used to think everyone was like this, but it seems quite rare. I don't seem to have a bad case of it, I certainly wouldn't dream of trying to medicate it. But it does make me feel bad about myself sometimes when I overdo it. Here's an article on it that may clarify more: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2022/aug/28/i-just-go-into-my-head-and-enjoy-it-the-people-who-cant-stop-daydreaming https://www.theguardian.com/science/2022/aug/28/i-just-go-in...
  - chinchilla2020 3y ago
    Okay that's way more extreme than what I thought. Maybe I don't fall into this category. Most of my daydreams involve staring out the office window thinking of hiking a trail in a distant locations. Sometimes I will listen to music and imagine how I might incorporate such a feeling into a movie if I was a director... but I am never a character in the movie, like in your daydreams. I just think about what a great story would be like for viewers to watch.
- Mezzie 3y ago
  Mine are complete fantasy and take place in other worlds + don't involve me at all. A lot of my daydreams are worldbuilding or exploring 'interesting' scenarios/situations that characters would end up in. Not really a good way to turn those into real life goals. I have a really shitty internal sense of self, though.
  - scottyah 3y ago
    You could become an author, and at least get paid to dwell in those worlds
    - narag 3y ago
      Or not. Tension is a key ingredient of fiction that people pays for. If you're imagining a world to flee from reality it could be very bland and unrealistic.
      - wobbly_bush 3y ago
        There is LitRPG genre in which tension is not as key an ingredient. Also, there can be consumers of the writeup who don't particularly "buy" a book - so the writeup doesn't have to follow a typical book structure.
    - Mezzie 3y ago
      I've actually gotten paid for fiction writing before! I'm a good writer, but I despise marketing/branding and also really dislike doing creative work on a deadline/for a living. (It's the same reason I'm not a SWE actually because programming is a creative task for me.)
  - wobbly_bush 3y ago
    If they don't involve you at all, perhaps you can convert it into a LitRPG novel - something like CivCEO [1] [1] https://www.amazon.com/CivCEO-Lit-Accidental-Champion-Book-ebook/dp/B07YRTVLMZ https://www.amazon.com/CivCEO-Lit-Accidental-Champion-Book-e...
  - 3y ago
soulofmischief 3y ago
This perspective fails to appropriately recognize ADHD and related phenomena as executive function disorders. Depression, shame, regret, and stress are actually highly correlated with ADHD, OCD etc., because this exact executive function disorder often leads to the sufferer having a less than ideal life. And so it is akin to telling a person who suffers from real, clinical depression, to "just not be depressed". It's tautological advice. As for the nature of these daydreams; Understand that it's a general condition. The author's daydreams are likely all over the place, everything at once. My own rapidly change just like a real dream, from happy to sad over and over. It's not like the author is fixated on buying some dream car or living in a big house. There is an element of compulsive fixation on general daydreaming which can be extremely hard to overcome whenever it is caused by actual disorders in brain structure. For example, ADHD is characterized by a number of gene mutations which lead to reduced number of dopamine receptors throughout the brain. [0] There is no psychological way to just "get over" this. What needs to happen is society needs to accept that these are real disabilities and it can be just as rude telling someone who has an extreme case "don't dream it, be it," as it is to tell someone with general intellectual disabilities to just "study harder". Then maybe we can stop leaving otherwise very intelligent individuals behind to suffer in lifelong economic and psychological disparity. [0] https://www.omim.org/entry/143465 https://www.omim.org/entry/143465
- lazide 3y ago
  If the ADHD symptoms are caused by real, ongoing abuse by someone with say NPD - treating it as an executive function disorder will leave them stuck in a terrible situation, albeit with slightly less dysfunction. I’ve seen people get more functional - then be immediately attacked by said NPD person (indirectly) through gaslighting and sabotage, which of course put them back where they were. ‘The meds stopped working’. Or maybe it was the meds stopped working - except for what I saw going on, at least.
  - soulofmischief 3y ago
    Good point. Severe stress and depression can cause a number of symptoms normally presented by ADHD, OCD, etc. While I was young my severe depression and stress came from living in an abusive household under an ex-boxer Catholic deacon and his narcissistic, control-freak wife. Always told myself things would get better once I got out of the situation; instead I found out the worst symptoms of my mental disorders were simply being masked by external factors. I recently broke down for an entire day after a judgemental encounter with someone, and learned about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, that I have had it for my entire life and that almost all ADHD sufferers experience it at least once. Just learning about it really helped change my perspective and gave me a way to move forward. Having had multiple run-ins with narcissists over the years, including my mom, I've had a habit of letting myself get harmed and being trapped by guilt or some misplaced loyalty. Now I know the (at least in part) the source of this habit and can change it. https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/ https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-an...

blackkettle 3y ago

I also found it odd looking through the whole piece waiting for an example only to reach the end with no idea what these daydreams actually are?

feintruled 3y ago
I have this (or something like it). You basically can retreat into a fantasy world that plays out like a movie with yourself as the main character. You can run through any number of imagined Walter Mitty scenarios and feel at least some echo of the emotions - enough to make it quite addictive. It's your standard power fantasy stuff really - imagine the gamut of those Reddit anecdotes that end with "and everyone burst into applause" the whole way up into being world king (why not, it's your daydream!) So playing out scenarios in your head, essentially. Might sound harmless - there is no question of confusing these daydreams with reality - but you can find yourself retreating into the same ones again and again in a loop, especially when triggered by alcohol or music. I could put on my favourite songs and fantasize literally for hours, replaying the emotions. Endlessly scratching an endless itch. Obviously this might not be conducive with a productive life! I guess it would serve one well in solitary confinement. I used to think everyone was like this, but it seems quite rare. I don't seem to have a bad case of it, I certainly wouldn't dream of trying to medicate it. But it does make me feel bad about myself sometimes when I overdo it. Here's an article on it that may clarify more: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2022/aug/28/i-just-go-into-my-head-and-enjoy-it-the-people-who-cant-stop-daydreaming https://www.theguardian.com/science/2022/aug/28/i-just-go-in...
- chinchilla2020 3y ago
  Okay that's way more extreme than what I thought. Maybe I don't fall into this category. Most of my daydreams involve staring out the office window thinking of hiking a trail in a distant locations. Sometimes I will listen to music and imagine how I might incorporate such a feeling into a movie if I was a director... but I am never a character in the movie, like in your daydreams. I just think about what a great story would be like for viewers to watch.
Mezzie 3y ago
Mine are complete fantasy and take place in other worlds + don't involve me at all. A lot of my daydreams are worldbuilding or exploring 'interesting' scenarios/situations that characters would end up in. Not really a good way to turn those into real life goals. I have a really shitty internal sense of self, though.
- scottyah 3y ago
  You could become an author, and at least get paid to dwell in those worlds
  - narag 3y ago
    Or not. Tension is a key ingredient of fiction that people pays for. If you're imagining a world to flee from reality it could be very bland and unrealistic.
    - wobbly_bush 3y ago
      There is LitRPG genre in which tension is not as key an ingredient. Also, there can be consumers of the writeup who don't particularly "buy" a book - so the writeup doesn't have to follow a typical book structure.
  - Mezzie 3y ago
    I've actually gotten paid for fiction writing before! I'm a good writer, but I despise marketing/branding and also really dislike doing creative work on a deadline/for a living. (It's the same reason I'm not a SWE actually because programming is a creative task for me.)
- wobbly_bush 3y ago
  If they don't involve you at all, perhaps you can convert it into a LitRPG novel - something like CivCEO [1] [1] https://www.amazon.com/CivCEO-Lit-Accidental-Champion-Book-ebook/dp/B07YRTVLMZ https://www.amazon.com/CivCEO-Lit-Accidental-Champion-Book-e...
- 3y ago

soulofmischief 3y ago

This perspective fails to appropriately recognize ADHD and related phenomena as executive function disorders. Depression, shame, regret, and stress are actually highly correlated with ADHD, OCD etc., because this exact executive function disorder often leads to the sufferer having a less than ideal life. And so it is akin to telling a person who suffers from real, clinical depression, to "just not be depressed". It's tautological advice. As for the nature of these daydreams; Understand that it's a general condition. The author's daydreams are likely all over the place, everything at once. My own rapidly change just like a real dream, from happy to sad over and over. It's not like the author is fixated on buying some dream car or living in a big house. There is an element of compulsive fixation on general daydreaming which can be extremely hard to overcome whenever it is caused by actual disorders in brain structure. For example, ADHD is characterized by a number of gene mutations which lead to reduced number of dopamine receptors throughout the brain. [0] There is no psychological way to just "get over" this. What needs to happen is society needs to accept that these are real disabilities and it can be just as rude telling someone who has an extreme case "don't dream it, be it," as it is to tell someone with general intellectual disabilities to just "study harder". Then maybe we can stop leaving otherwise very intelligent individuals behind to suffer in lifelong economic and psychological disparity. [0] https://www.omim.org/entry/143465 https://www.omim.org/entry/143465

lazide 3y ago
If the ADHD symptoms are caused by real, ongoing abuse by someone with say NPD - treating it as an executive function disorder will leave them stuck in a terrible situation, albeit with slightly less dysfunction. I’ve seen people get more functional - then be immediately attacked by said NPD person (indirectly) through gaslighting and sabotage, which of course put them back where they were. ‘The meds stopped working’. Or maybe it was the meds stopped working - except for what I saw going on, at least.
- soulofmischief 3y ago
  Good point. Severe stress and depression can cause a number of symptoms normally presented by ADHD, OCD, etc. While I was young my severe depression and stress came from living in an abusive household under an ex-boxer Catholic deacon and his narcissistic, control-freak wife. Always told myself things would get better once I got out of the situation; instead I found out the worst symptoms of my mental disorders were simply being masked by external factors. I recently broke down for an entire day after a judgemental encounter with someone, and learned about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, that I have had it for my entire life and that almost all ADHD sufferers experience it at least once. Just learning about it really helped change my perspective and gave me a way to move forward. Having had multiple run-ins with narcissists over the years, including my mom, I've had a habit of letting myself get harmed and being trapped by guilt or some misplaced loyalty. Now I know the (at least in part) the source of this habit and can change it. https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/ https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-an...