3 ms·

I grew up in a rural area and I was running off into the woods behind my house with my siblings at like age 4 or 5, no supervision required. The idea that a kid

I grew up in a rural area and I was running off into the woods behind my house with my siblings at like age 4 or 5, no supervision required. The idea that a kid can't play in the woods by themselves is weird to me. Parents are definitely getting to helicoptering, I saw a group of 18 year olds decide they wanted to get pizza while at someone's house, and then decide to all call their parents to ask if it were okay (not ask for money, just ask if it were okay). I was flabbergasted. The relationship parents have with kids is way too much and people need to tone it down. Banning cell phones is a good first step.

shortrounddev2 3y ago
Once, when I was 18, I went to an anime convention the next state over. I drove 3 friends and we shared a hotel room. We took lightrail into the city, but found that it was unreliable, so at the end of the night, we decided to try to hitch a ride with an acquaintance back to the hotel. He had a car which seated 5, so it was him, his sister, 3 of us, and then the last friend would take a cab. This 24 year old called his mom to ask if it was okay if he drove some people in his car. A car that he owned. His mom said he could drive one person. We said "nevermind, dude, we'll just all take a cab". This was 2013.
- ecshafer 3y ago
  I am shocked that happened in 2013. In high school our soliton to not enough seats was to have people get in the trunk. I couldn’t imagine at 24, calling mom to ask if it was okay to drive other people. At 24 you’re an adult with a job, apartment, etc.
Loughla 3y ago
Honestly, I don't know if it's a 'things were better in my day' sort of attitude, but it does seem like the helicopter parenting and bulldozer parenting is just everywhere all the time. It's the attitude that kids can't make mistakes, no matter what, and that any mistakes are a direct reflection on the parents. It's exhausting. I want my kid to mess up. I want him to fall out of a tree and break his arm. I want him to grow up and drive somewhere three states over with his friends and break down and need me to come get him. That's part of growing up. Now for the part that I'm not sure isn't just me being a grumpy old man - I'm honestly afraid we're raising a generation that doesn't have proper coping skills and won't be able to effectively function in society. My proof is that college students today will remove themselves from opportunities that are too stressful - which includes just needing to call people on the phone. I have seen massively competent, not socially anxious teens turn down amazing opportunities because they had to speak to someone they don't know on the phone. It's amazing.
- icouldntresist 3y ago
  Warning: ill-formed rant below I'm in my mid-30's and I feel like I've seen the change in my time. Some parents of kids my age were of the helicopter variety, but that was more of an exception. Most parents I know now have kids that would have been considered stunted or even developmentally challenged when I was their kid's age. I don't know how to describe it except to say that they lack any sort of agency and act about half their age (this may say more about my expectations). I think there are a lot of factors that go into this, like having a 24/7 tether to your parents with a smartphone (and parents that encourage this), social media and news cycles that emphasize fear and anger (that affects both the parents and the child), the "safetyism" of post-Columbine-and-9/11 America, growing authoritarianism across the political spectrum, slight deviations from behavioral norms being medicalized and requiring adjustment, and children generally being deprived of autonomy and responsibility at nearly every opportunity by removing almost any potential for things to go wrong or get difficult (IMO, dealing with these situations may be the fundamental life skill). Most kids these days have no grit and they shut down at the slightest whiff of adversity, it's like learned helplessness, except I don't think they ever learned to help themselves in the first place because their parents prevented it. They need some sort of authority figure and to be told what they're supposed to do, think, and feel. I know some people in my age group that are like this. They had helicopter parents, and it's like they completely stopped developing as a person in their teens. They practically can't wipe their own ass without calling their parents and asking how.

shortrounddev2 3y ago

Once, when I was 18, I went to an anime convention the next state over. I drove 3 friends and we shared a hotel room. We took lightrail into the city, but found that it was unreliable, so at the end of the night, we decided to try to hitch a ride with an acquaintance back to the hotel. He had a car which seated 5, so it was him, his sister, 3 of us, and then the last friend would take a cab. This 24 year old called his mom to ask if it was okay if he drove some people in his car. A car that he owned. His mom said he could drive one person. We said "nevermind, dude, we'll just all take a cab". This was 2013.

ecshafer 3y ago
I am shocked that happened in 2013. In high school our soliton to not enough seats was to have people get in the trunk. I couldn’t imagine at 24, calling mom to ask if it was okay to drive other people. At 24 you’re an adult with a job, apartment, etc.

Loughla 3y ago

Honestly, I don't know if it's a 'things were better in my day' sort of attitude, but it does seem like the helicopter parenting and bulldozer parenting is just everywhere all the time. It's the attitude that kids can't make mistakes, no matter what, and that any mistakes are a direct reflection on the parents. It's exhausting. I want my kid to mess up. I want him to fall out of a tree and break his arm. I want him to grow up and drive somewhere three states over with his friends and break down and need me to come get him. That's part of growing up. Now for the part that I'm not sure isn't just me being a grumpy old man - I'm honestly afraid we're raising a generation that doesn't have proper coping skills and won't be able to effectively function in society. My proof is that college students today will remove themselves from opportunities that are too stressful - which includes just needing to call people on the phone. I have seen massively competent, not socially anxious teens turn down amazing opportunities because they had to speak to someone they don't know on the phone. It's amazing.

icouldntresist 3y ago
Warning: ill-formed rant below I'm in my mid-30's and I feel like I've seen the change in my time. Some parents of kids my age were of the helicopter variety, but that was more of an exception. Most parents I know now have kids that would have been considered stunted or even developmentally challenged when I was their kid's age. I don't know how to describe it except to say that they lack any sort of agency and act about half their age (this may say more about my expectations). I think there are a lot of factors that go into this, like having a 24/7 tether to your parents with a smartphone (and parents that encourage this), social media and news cycles that emphasize fear and anger (that affects both the parents and the child), the "safetyism" of post-Columbine-and-9/11 America, growing authoritarianism across the political spectrum, slight deviations from behavioral norms being medicalized and requiring adjustment, and children generally being deprived of autonomy and responsibility at nearly every opportunity by removing almost any potential for things to go wrong or get difficult (IMO, dealing with these situations may be the fundamental life skill). Most kids these days have no grit and they shut down at the slightest whiff of adversity, it's like learned helplessness, except I don't think they ever learned to help themselves in the first place because their parents prevented it. They need some sort of authority figure and to be told what they're supposed to do, think, and feel. I know some people in my age group that are like this. They had helicopter parents, and it's like they completely stopped developing as a person in their teens. They practically can't wipe their own ass without calling their parents and asking how.