3 ms·

>I guess at some point teachers gave up trying to enforce the rules. Or the idea of being away from your phone for hours at a time became strange to everyone. O

>I guess at some point teachers gave up trying to enforce the rules. Or the idea of being away from your phone for hours at a time became strange to everyone. Or maybe teachers thought they could incorporate phones into lesson plans. I can speak from experience in teaching, and being married to a teacher who both have seem the implementation of smartphones and the consequences thereof. It's not the students, it's not the teachers, it's the parents. Students are usually salty, but understand if you have a no phone policy. It's the parents. They DEMAND to be able to contact their child at all hours of the day, regardless of whether the child is in class. They EXPECT the school to support them texting and/or calling their kid to discuss trivial nonsense throughout the day. The ability of people to trust that their kids are safe in schools is gone. The ability of people to understand a message that MUST be sent right now versus one that can wait is gone. The ability of people to deal with any amount of not being connected is gone. It's, honestly, disturbing. I don't know what it is about it that bothers me so much, but it frightens me. It's the constant connection, I think. I feel like maybe it's fostering a societal inability to be independent. As an example - people have questioned my parenting because my son goes into the woods by himself (we live in a rural area). They have questioned how much I actually care about him because I don't follow him and/or know everything he's doing all the time. I'm a firm believer in independence fostered safely. School and playtime are two places that this independence needs to be fostered, and parents today have completely forgotten that their kids will have to exist without them some day. This might come across as a little /get off my lawn/, but it's my experience across decades of working in education.

ecshafer 3y ago
I grew up in a rural area and I was running off into the woods behind my house with my siblings at like age 4 or 5, no supervision required. The idea that a kid can't play in the woods by themselves is weird to me. Parents are definitely getting to helicoptering, I saw a group of 18 year olds decide they wanted to get pizza while at someone's house, and then decide to all call their parents to ask if it were okay (not ask for money, just ask if it were okay). I was flabbergasted. The relationship parents have with kids is way too much and people need to tone it down. Banning cell phones is a good first step.
- shortrounddev2 3y ago
  Once, when I was 18, I went to an anime convention the next state over. I drove 3 friends and we shared a hotel room. We took lightrail into the city, but found that it was unreliable, so at the end of the night, we decided to try to hitch a ride with an acquaintance back to the hotel. He had a car which seated 5, so it was him, his sister, 3 of us, and then the last friend would take a cab. This 24 year old called his mom to ask if it was okay if he drove some people in his car. A car that he owned. His mom said he could drive one person. We said "nevermind, dude, we'll just all take a cab". This was 2013.
  - ecshafer 3y ago
    I am shocked that happened in 2013. In high school our soliton to not enough seats was to have people get in the trunk. I couldn’t imagine at 24, calling mom to ask if it was okay to drive other people. At 24 you’re an adult with a job, apartment, etc.
- Loughla 3y ago
  Honestly, I don't know if it's a 'things were better in my day' sort of attitude, but it does seem like the helicopter parenting and bulldozer parenting is just everywhere all the time. It's the attitude that kids can't make mistakes, no matter what, and that any mistakes are a direct reflection on the parents. It's exhausting. I want my kid to mess up. I want him to fall out of a tree and break his arm. I want him to grow up and drive somewhere three states over with his friends and break down and need me to come get him. That's part of growing up. Now for the part that I'm not sure isn't just me being a grumpy old man - I'm honestly afraid we're raising a generation that doesn't have proper coping skills and won't be able to effectively function in society. My proof is that college students today will remove themselves from opportunities that are too stressful - which includes just needing to call people on the phone. I have seen massively competent, not socially anxious teens turn down amazing opportunities because they had to speak to someone they don't know on the phone. It's amazing.
  - icouldntresist 3y ago
abbusfoflouotne 3y ago
Great perspective. I had not considered the effect of school shootings on this topic. Not a parent, but I suspect this has really driven parents to a place of fear (justifiably), leading to a need to ALWAYS know if their kid is ok at any moment, in schools and in general
saiya-jin 3y ago
Ignore those parents, they are just unable to handle on their own their own insecurities, mental issues, stress and other baggage and they bring it also to raising of their closest ones, with corresponding long term consequences. There are dedicated terms for those, ie helicopter parents, control freaks etc. The simple fact is, internet/mobile/information revolution came too fast, caught whole world by a massive surprise, and people had to cope with completely new benefits and drawbacks of this new aspect of their lives on their own. As with everything else, some cope better/smarter than others, and as usually nothing is black & white. You are doing fine (judging solely from your description), don't worry what others say - its their problem.

ecshafer 3y ago

I grew up in a rural area and I was running off into the woods behind my house with my siblings at like age 4 or 5, no supervision required. The idea that a kid can't play in the woods by themselves is weird to me. Parents are definitely getting to helicoptering, I saw a group of 18 year olds decide they wanted to get pizza while at someone's house, and then decide to all call their parents to ask if it were okay (not ask for money, just ask if it were okay). I was flabbergasted. The relationship parents have with kids is way too much and people need to tone it down. Banning cell phones is a good first step.

shortrounddev2 3y ago
Once, when I was 18, I went to an anime convention the next state over. I drove 3 friends and we shared a hotel room. We took lightrail into the city, but found that it was unreliable, so at the end of the night, we decided to try to hitch a ride with an acquaintance back to the hotel. He had a car which seated 5, so it was him, his sister, 3 of us, and then the last friend would take a cab. This 24 year old called his mom to ask if it was okay if he drove some people in his car. A car that he owned. His mom said he could drive one person. We said "nevermind, dude, we'll just all take a cab". This was 2013.
- ecshafer 3y ago
  I am shocked that happened in 2013. In high school our soliton to not enough seats was to have people get in the trunk. I couldn’t imagine at 24, calling mom to ask if it was okay to drive other people. At 24 you’re an adult with a job, apartment, etc.
Loughla 3y ago
Honestly, I don't know if it's a 'things were better in my day' sort of attitude, but it does seem like the helicopter parenting and bulldozer parenting is just everywhere all the time. It's the attitude that kids can't make mistakes, no matter what, and that any mistakes are a direct reflection on the parents. It's exhausting. I want my kid to mess up. I want him to fall out of a tree and break his arm. I want him to grow up and drive somewhere three states over with his friends and break down and need me to come get him. That's part of growing up. Now for the part that I'm not sure isn't just me being a grumpy old man - I'm honestly afraid we're raising a generation that doesn't have proper coping skills and won't be able to effectively function in society. My proof is that college students today will remove themselves from opportunities that are too stressful - which includes just needing to call people on the phone. I have seen massively competent, not socially anxious teens turn down amazing opportunities because they had to speak to someone they don't know on the phone. It's amazing.
- icouldntresist 3y ago

abbusfoflouotne 3y ago

Great perspective. I had not considered the effect of school shootings on this topic. Not a parent, but I suspect this has really driven parents to a place of fear (justifiably), leading to a need to ALWAYS know if their kid is ok at any moment, in schools and in general

saiya-jin 3y ago

Ignore those parents, they are just unable to handle on their own their own insecurities, mental issues, stress and other baggage and they bring it also to raising of their closest ones, with corresponding long term consequences. There are dedicated terms for those, ie helicopter parents, control freaks etc. The simple fact is, internet/mobile/information revolution came too fast, caught whole world by a massive surprise, and people had to cope with completely new benefits and drawbacks of this new aspect of their lives on their own. As with everything else, some cope better/smarter than others, and as usually nothing is black & white. You are doing fine (judging solely from your description), don't worry what others say - its their problem.