3 ms·

People seem to be focusing on this case specifically when the skill to force yourself to work applies in many scenarios and is a required skill to be successful

People seem to be focusing on this case specifically when the skill to force yourself to work applies in many scenarios and is a required skill to be successful in any profession. No pro tennis player hasn't played a game injured. No professional athlete has gone through their career without playing injured. Every off-season we hear the list of injuries players have been playing through. To be successful you must force yourself to do things you don't want to do. And not telling someone who just flaked out of their first job that is a diservice.

the_af 3y ago
> People seem to be focusing on this case specifically Well, you did reply to someone claiming severe depression and burnout, so the specifics matter. If you meant to post about hard work and doing stuff that might not be enjoyable in pursue of a paycheck, that's fine, but do you think it's warranted in reply to this specific case? It'd be like going into generalities about how one can push oneself harder to run a 100 meters sprint when talking to someone without legs or arms. I mean, yes, sure, but isn't it a touch insensitive?
- that_guy_iain 3y ago
  > Well, you did reply to someone claiming severe depression and burnout, so the specifics matter. I did say that it's a skill they should learn not that they should have done it in this case. So if we're saying specifics matter, the entire context of specifics matter. > If you meant to post about hard work and doing stuff that might not be enjoyable in pursue of a paycheck, that's fine, but do you think it's warranted in reply to this specific case? Yes, the person flaked out of their first job after seemingly a few months and literally asked if they should have forced themselves to work their 2 week notice period. Telling them everything is ok is not the nice thing to do. It's an easy thing to do. It seems compassionate. But it's not. It shows no feeling or concern for their future. As pointed out with multiple examples, there are plenty of times people need to force themselves to work. It is an important skill to have to succeed. They flaked out of their first job and flaked out so hard they didn't even manage to give 2 weeks notice. That is the hard reality here. And they specifically asked if they should have given the notice. To not advise them that forcing yourself to work is an important skillset is in my opinion a disservice and uncaring action.
  - the_af 3y ago
    > I did say that it's a skill they should learn not that they should have done it in this case. So you gave unrelated advice to someone telling you about a bout of depression? Hm. > Telling them everything is ok is not the nice thing to do. It's an easy thing to do. I think you'll find your "easy way" is not the way to treat severe depression. It's a long, hard road. You think being depressed is "flaking out"? Shame on you. At which point would you say it's ok to admit you were wrong and that you misread the post? Is this really the hill you want to die on?
    - that_guy_iain 3y ago
      > So you gave unrelated advice to someone telling you about a bout of depression? Hm. They literally asked if they were being unprofessional and if they should have forced themselves to work. Telling them that being able to force themselves to work is a useful skillset if they want to keep a job is not unrelated. > You think being depressed is "flaking out"? Shame on you. No, the fact you need to come up with just an absurd statement really shows what you're all about. They didn't give the industry standard notice period, they as far as we can tell, just said "I'm not coming back". That is flaking out. If you did it because you were depressed or because it's sunny outside doesn't really change the fact it's flaking out. > At which point would you say it's ok to admit you were wrong and that you misread the post? Is this really the hill you want to die on? Misread what? You need to misrepresent my position. In another comment you said I have no experience of depression. I've been on sucide watches so extreme, they took away my clothes, gave me untearable clothes, only gave me fingerfood, left me in an empty room with just a mattress and an untearable blanket, and had someone sit there and watch me nonstop. The reason I know that mental hospitals will force you to be active is I was there and they annoyed the shit out of me with it. I was diganosed with depression at the age of 9. One professional said that I had been depressed for so long that I basically considered it normal. I almost certainly have more experience with it than many others. You also implied a strawman argument because I think someone who says they struggled to brush their teeth because they were so depressed would have been sitting around doing nothing because well they couldn't even brush their teeth. That's just extrapolating. Very simple logic.

the_af 3y ago

> People seem to be focusing on this case specifically Well, you did reply to someone claiming severe depression and burnout, so the specifics matter. If you meant to post about hard work and doing stuff that might not be enjoyable in pursue of a paycheck, that's fine, but do you think it's warranted in reply to this specific case? It'd be like going into generalities about how one can push oneself harder to run a 100 meters sprint when talking to someone without legs or arms. I mean, yes, sure, but isn't it a touch insensitive?

that_guy_iain 3y ago
> Well, you did reply to someone claiming severe depression and burnout, so the specifics matter. I did say that it's a skill they should learn not that they should have done it in this case. So if we're saying specifics matter, the entire context of specifics matter. > If you meant to post about hard work and doing stuff that might not be enjoyable in pursue of a paycheck, that's fine, but do you think it's warranted in reply to this specific case? Yes, the person flaked out of their first job after seemingly a few months and literally asked if they should have forced themselves to work their 2 week notice period. Telling them everything is ok is not the nice thing to do. It's an easy thing to do. It seems compassionate. But it's not. It shows no feeling or concern for their future. As pointed out with multiple examples, there are plenty of times people need to force themselves to work. It is an important skill to have to succeed. They flaked out of their first job and flaked out so hard they didn't even manage to give 2 weeks notice. That is the hard reality here. And they specifically asked if they should have given the notice. To not advise them that forcing yourself to work is an important skillset is in my opinion a disservice and uncaring action.
- the_af 3y ago
  > I did say that it's a skill they should learn not that they should have done it in this case. So you gave unrelated advice to someone telling you about a bout of depression? Hm. > Telling them everything is ok is not the nice thing to do. It's an easy thing to do. I think you'll find your "easy way" is not the way to treat severe depression. It's a long, hard road. You think being depressed is "flaking out"? Shame on you. At which point would you say it's ok to admit you were wrong and that you misread the post? Is this really the hill you want to die on?
  - that_guy_iain 3y ago
    > So you gave unrelated advice to someone telling you about a bout of depression? Hm. They literally asked if they were being unprofessional and if they should have forced themselves to work. Telling them that being able to force themselves to work is a useful skillset if they want to keep a job is not unrelated. > You think being depressed is "flaking out"? Shame on you. No, the fact you need to come up with just an absurd statement really shows what you're all about. They didn't give the industry standard notice period, they as far as we can tell, just said "I'm not coming back". That is flaking out. If you did it because you were depressed or because it's sunny outside doesn't really change the fact it's flaking out. > At which point would you say it's ok to admit you were wrong and that you misread the post? Is this really the hill you want to die on? Misread what? You need to misrepresent my position. In another comment you said I have no experience of depression. I've been on sucide watches so extreme, they took away my clothes, gave me untearable clothes, only gave me fingerfood, left me in an empty room with just a mattress and an untearable blanket, and had someone sit there and watch me nonstop. The reason I know that mental hospitals will force you to be active is I was there and they annoyed the shit out of me with it. I was diganosed with depression at the age of 9. One professional said that I had been depressed for so long that I basically considered it normal. I almost certainly have more experience with it than many others. You also implied a strawman argument because I think someone who says they struggled to brush their teeth because they were so depressed would have been sitting around doing nothing because well they couldn't even brush their teeth. That's just extrapolating. Very simple logic.