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I did this as well. It took a little time, and a few rebukes, for my kids to understand it as a hard rule. But after that it's been smooth sailing. It also h

I did this as well. It took a little time, and a few rebukes, for my kids to understand it as a hard rule. But after that it's been smooth sailing. It also helps that I majorly soundproofed my home office. Even well-intentioned kids will won't be silent for the entire work day.

freedomben 3y ago
I should try the soundproofing. 10 years in and the kids still don't leave me alone, and the rebukes were taking a real toll on the relationship. I work part time in a coworking space which has helped a bit, but it's a real struggle.
- CoastalCoder 3y ago
  Let me know if you want to discuss soundproofing details. I'm happy to share some lessons learned.
  - freedomben 3y ago
    Yeah that would be great! Is there much you can do without covering all the walls with foam? Even that might be a possibility, although I don't know if my wife would permit it
    - CoastalCoder 3y ago
      Cool, will DM you.
ryneandal 3y ago
Aye, just gotta rip off the bandaid and make sure you're firm with the rules. My eldest boy has terrible separation anxiety and acted as though I had died for the first week or so, but adjustments were made and it's been relatively smooth sailing since. I did acquiesce and allow interruptions when the door is open, for times I'm checking email or other administrative tasks. That same son has high-functioning autism so I do find myself bringing him in to calm him down on occasion. I've found my wife is the one who refuses to follow these guidelines most often, lol.
- CoastalCoder 3y ago
  > I've found my wife is the one who refuses to follow these guidelines most often, lol. Oh. Solving that one is way beyond the pay grade of all HN users combined, I'm afraid :) (Just kidding. But it would probably require a discussion with marital-counseling-level candor. So maaaybe not one to have in a public forum.)

freedomben 3y ago

I should try the soundproofing. 10 years in and the kids still don't leave me alone, and the rebukes were taking a real toll on the relationship. I work part time in a coworking space which has helped a bit, but it's a real struggle.

CoastalCoder 3y ago
Let me know if you want to discuss soundproofing details. I'm happy to share some lessons learned.
- freedomben 3y ago
  Yeah that would be great! Is there much you can do without covering all the walls with foam? Even that might be a possibility, although I don't know if my wife would permit it
  - CoastalCoder 3y ago
    Cool, will DM you.

ryneandal 3y ago

Aye, just gotta rip off the bandaid and make sure you're firm with the rules. My eldest boy has terrible separation anxiety and acted as though I had died for the first week or so, but adjustments were made and it's been relatively smooth sailing since. I did acquiesce and allow interruptions when the door is open, for times I'm checking email or other administrative tasks. That same son has high-functioning autism so I do find myself bringing him in to calm him down on occasion. I've found my wife is the one who refuses to follow these guidelines most often, lol.

CoastalCoder 3y ago
> I've found my wife is the one who refuses to follow these guidelines most often, lol. Oh. Solving that one is way beyond the pay grade of all HN users combined, I'm afraid :) (Just kidding. But it would probably require a discussion with marital-counseling-level candor. So maaaybe not one to have in a public forum.)