With the return of astrology, crystals and tarot, we 1970s prophets have only biorythms, mood rings and disco remaining. Our messiah will descend from a cigar s

With the return of astrology, crystals and tarot, we 1970s prophets have only biorythms, mood rings and disco remaining. Our messiah will descend from a cigar shaped UFO, blinding us with the reflection of his lapels. He will speak one-sentence truths below a bushy porn-star mustache and laugh tracks will sing our adoration.