6 ms·

Dude, lighten up. She was playing a game with you, probably flirting. And you didn't play the game very well. Mysticism is fun, aesthetic, and filled with more

Dude, lighten up. She was playing a game with you, probably flirting. And you didn't play the game very well. Mysticism is fun, aesthetic, and filled with more questions than answers. Play the game some time, you might enjoy it. I also can't believe you actually found a way to weasel racism into the conversation. It's all so tiresome.

xwdv 3y ago
Sorry, but I don’t see where it says he has to respond to a woman’s nonsense flirtatious mysticism by lowering his own standard for discourse down to her level. He does not have to tolerate her magical thinking. I think he drew an interesting correlation between racism and her astrological beliefs that she likely has never heard before, and perhaps will give her some much needed introspection. That is a far more meaningful outcome than whatever else their conversation about astrological signs could have had.
- BSEdlMMldESB 3y ago
  I agree with you, I think "just be yourself" or else get comfortable acting on the other hand, it's also important to 'go with the flow' sometimes, specially around things you don't consider too important; whichever those may be (I've noticed that what is important is even affected by my mood).
  - mettamage 3y ago
    I studied and believed astrology between the ages of 12 and 16. At 16, I found a few ways to strongly falsify it. The problem is that the readings always end up being somewhat true and people become enthusiastic about the readings. All I did was follow a particular book, but yea that was tough to falsify for me at that age. In any case, it depends on what you value. If you don't care that someone is into astrology, then go with the flow. If you deeply believe in science and it's one of your core values that people close to you believe in that as well then a short and polite conversation is all I see happening. I'm of the latter kind. I'd have never made such a strong comment though as it is my experience that people aren't really open to change their minds on this (having done readings on a few dozen people as a kid). So why waste the time?
  - sanderjd 3y ago
    Both "just be yourself" and "learn how to be someone who is capable of going with the flow" are good advice for social situations.
- tsukikage 3y ago
  > respond to a woman’s nonsense flirtatious mysticism by lowering his own standard for discourse Flirting is an informal process for obtaining answers to questions about a potential partner in advance of any significant commitment or risk and without having to deal with matters of any particular importance; questions such as "how well do we communicate?", "do I enjoy spending time with this person?", "how do they perceive me?", "how do they describe me to others?" and "how do they respond when we disagree on something?" Reacting to these situations with denigration and hostility is very unlikely to leave a good impression; though certainly it does yield valuable information to the recipient.
  - xormapmap 3y ago
    > Reacting to these situations with denigration and hostility is very unlikely to leave a good impression Why would I care if I left a good impression on a person using astrology to judge me? I wouldn't expect nor want things to go any further.
    - tsukikage 3y ago
      If you enjoy being cruel to casual acquaintances who haven't hurt you in any way I don't really know what else to tell you. Meanwhile, it turns out astrology is pretty good at revealing people who mock and denigrate others for no good reason. Who'd have thought it? Maybe I'll start using that technique.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
zzzeek 3y ago
She was definitely flirting and astrology rescued this woman from having to date someone alarmingly rigid and humorless in their thinking . Score one for astrology
- fullspectrumdev 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - AlexandrB 3y ago
    Love to see anti-intellectualism on "Hacker" News.
    - rockstar-guy-23 3y ago
      Intelligence without wisdom is like energy without restraint: annoying.
    - zzzeek 3y ago
      Playing a word game that intentionally suspends reality is fairly high level social interaction. You don't see MAGAs delicately considering subtle personality traits mapped onto intricate mystical systems.
    - sanderjd 3y ago
      It's not anti-intellectualism. The right answer in situations like this is to laugh it off and have some fun with it. It is not anti-intellectual to do so. It's also totally fine to be uninterested in dating someone who is super into mysticism, but it's not necessary to be a bore about it during the conversation.
    - yadingus 3y ago
      bazinga
Tyr42 3y ago
Lol my wife intentionally threw a astrology question in the dating app as a filter. I passed, clearly, and I haven't heard her talk about them much since.
tjbiddle 3y ago
Eh, living in an area that has far too many astrology-nuts - it's less about flirting and more about forcing their ideology on you. I'd say less akin to racism, and more akin to religion.
- sanderjd 3y ago
  Then they're the ones being the bores in the conversation. But you don't have to go full steam the other way.
kderbyma 3y ago
No it worked haha. She avoided you. I doubt you would have complained had the sign been a match
wilg 3y ago
This shit is exactly why astrology is so frustrating. You can't pin down whether somebody actually believes what they're saying – when challenged it's all in good fun, but the things people actually say and appear to believe are completely absurd. "More questions than answers" my ass – there are NO answers here. It's a "game" when convenient, I guess. This wishy-washy trolling attitude reminds me of all the alt-right 4chan weirdos who are just "joking" about all their awful beliefs.
- yadingus 3y ago
  I think the fact that you find other people's beliefs frustrating says more about yourself and how you deal with the world than about the value of those beliefs. Emotional intelligence is real, and being easily frustrated (specially when that frustration comes from being so sure that you're right and someone else is wrong) is a sign of low emotional intelligence.
  - wilg 3y ago
    I think it is okay to try to be correct – or at least not demonstrably wrong – about the nature of the universe. Some people think its inappropriate to question other peoples' "beliefs", I do not. The beliefs in question are harmful, so yes, I get frustrated when people talk in circles and don't take responsibility for the things they say. Notably, you have avoided talking about the "value of those beliefs" in favor of lecturing me about how I should feel. Which, in fact, depends on the value of those beliefs. Which is what I wanted to talk about.
    - reportgunner 3y ago
      I think you should focus your energy somewhere else.
      - wilg 3y ago
        What purpose does your comment serve?

xwdv 3y ago

Sorry, but I don’t see where it says he has to respond to a woman’s nonsense flirtatious mysticism by lowering his own standard for discourse down to her level. He does not have to tolerate her magical thinking. I think he drew an interesting correlation between racism and her astrological beliefs that she likely has never heard before, and perhaps will give her some much needed introspection. That is a far more meaningful outcome than whatever else their conversation about astrological signs could have had.

BSEdlMMldESB 3y ago
I agree with you, I think "just be yourself" or else get comfortable acting on the other hand, it's also important to 'go with the flow' sometimes, specially around things you don't consider too important; whichever those may be (I've noticed that what is important is even affected by my mood).
- mettamage 3y ago
  I studied and believed astrology between the ages of 12 and 16. At 16, I found a few ways to strongly falsify it. The problem is that the readings always end up being somewhat true and people become enthusiastic about the readings. All I did was follow a particular book, but yea that was tough to falsify for me at that age. In any case, it depends on what you value. If you don't care that someone is into astrology, then go with the flow. If you deeply believe in science and it's one of your core values that people close to you believe in that as well then a short and polite conversation is all I see happening. I'm of the latter kind. I'd have never made such a strong comment though as it is my experience that people aren't really open to change their minds on this (having done readings on a few dozen people as a kid). So why waste the time?
- sanderjd 3y ago
  Both "just be yourself" and "learn how to be someone who is capable of going with the flow" are good advice for social situations.
tsukikage 3y ago
> respond to a woman’s nonsense flirtatious mysticism by lowering his own standard for discourse Flirting is an informal process for obtaining answers to questions about a potential partner in advance of any significant commitment or risk and without having to deal with matters of any particular importance; questions such as "how well do we communicate?", "do I enjoy spending time with this person?", "how do they perceive me?", "how do they describe me to others?" and "how do they respond when we disagree on something?" Reacting to these situations with denigration and hostility is very unlikely to leave a good impression; though certainly it does yield valuable information to the recipient.
- xormapmap 3y ago
  > Reacting to these situations with denigration and hostility is very unlikely to leave a good impression Why would I care if I left a good impression on a person using astrology to judge me? I wouldn't expect nor want things to go any further.
  - tsukikage 3y ago
    If you enjoy being cruel to casual acquaintances who haven't hurt you in any way I don't really know what else to tell you. Meanwhile, it turns out astrology is pretty good at revealing people who mock and denigrate others for no good reason. Who'd have thought it? Maybe I'll start using that technique.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]

zzzeek 3y ago

She was definitely flirting and astrology rescued this woman from having to date someone alarmingly rigid and humorless in their thinking . Score one for astrology

fullspectrumdev 3y ago
[flagged]
- AlexandrB 3y ago
  Love to see anti-intellectualism on "Hacker" News.
  - rockstar-guy-23 3y ago
    Intelligence without wisdom is like energy without restraint: annoying.
  - zzzeek 3y ago
    Playing a word game that intentionally suspends reality is fairly high level social interaction. You don't see MAGAs delicately considering subtle personality traits mapped onto intricate mystical systems.
  - sanderjd 3y ago
    It's not anti-intellectualism. The right answer in situations like this is to laugh it off and have some fun with it. It is not anti-intellectual to do so. It's also totally fine to be uninterested in dating someone who is super into mysticism, but it's not necessary to be a bore about it during the conversation.
  - yadingus 3y ago
    bazinga

Tyr42 3y ago

Lol my wife intentionally threw a astrology question in the dating app as a filter. I passed, clearly, and I haven't heard her talk about them much since.

tjbiddle 3y ago

Eh, living in an area that has far too many astrology-nuts - it's less about flirting and more about forcing their ideology on you. I'd say less akin to racism, and more akin to religion.

sanderjd 3y ago
Then they're the ones being the bores in the conversation. But you don't have to go full steam the other way.

kderbyma 3y ago

No it worked haha. She avoided you. I doubt you would have complained had the sign been a match

wilg 3y ago

This shit is exactly why astrology is so frustrating. You can't pin down whether somebody actually believes what they're saying – when challenged it's all in good fun, but the things people actually say and appear to believe are completely absurd. "More questions than answers" my ass – there are NO answers here. It's a "game" when convenient, I guess. This wishy-washy trolling attitude reminds me of all the alt-right 4chan weirdos who are just "joking" about all their awful beliefs.

yadingus 3y ago
I think the fact that you find other people's beliefs frustrating says more about yourself and how you deal with the world than about the value of those beliefs. Emotional intelligence is real, and being easily frustrated (specially when that frustration comes from being so sure that you're right and someone else is wrong) is a sign of low emotional intelligence.
- wilg 3y ago
  I think it is okay to try to be correct – or at least not demonstrably wrong – about the nature of the universe. Some people think its inappropriate to question other peoples' "beliefs", I do not. The beliefs in question are harmful, so yes, I get frustrated when people talk in circles and don't take responsibility for the things they say. Notably, you have avoided talking about the "value of those beliefs" in favor of lecturing me about how I should feel. Which, in fact, depends on the value of those beliefs. Which is what I wanted to talk about.
  - reportgunner 3y ago
    I think you should focus your energy somewhere else.
    - wilg 3y ago
      What purpose does your comment serve?