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People are friends because of the value they create, vis a vis any relationship requires investment, and its quality is determined based on the return on that i

People are friends because of the value they create, vis a vis any relationship requires investment, and its quality is determined based on the return on that investement. I would question the calling of any relationship that creates negative value a friendship.

MatekCopatek 3y ago
Your statement is a specific framing of a friendship from an economical perspective. You may or may not find that perspective useful, but it's inevitably a simplification that focuses on some aspects of a friendship and leaves out others. The (grand)parent comment is arguing that the things left out are the ones they find important. A friendship can be analyzed through value, but that's not necessarily a good way to build and sustain friendships.
- OkayPhysicist 3y ago
  Literal social networks (not the internet thing, just systems of people who interact with each other) are quintessential reputation economies. They can be analyzed, but there's a lot of fundamental differences with monetary economies. Reputation, unlike money, cannot be freely moved around the network: Alice thinking highly of me has no effect on my standing with Bob, unless there's some other link between Alice and Bob. Reputation also isn't nearly as conserved as currency: Asking for and receiving a favor (extracting value) from Bob can often strengthen the relationship, rather than deplete it, depending on the size of the ask and our existing rapport. And that's just some relatively surface level stuff. You can model relationships in economic terms, but it's a very different type of economy. Given how bad we are at modeling money economies, relationship dynamics are probably a lost cause.
stubybubs 3y ago
I'm curious how this view works out when trouble comes up. If you have a friend going through a rough time for a few months or years, do you just say I'm not going to get caught up in the sunk cost fallacy and cut ties? Even when I've had friends with difficult times and we spend less time together. I still feel for them and my heart hurts, even if I can't be around them as much to protect myself if they're spiralling. Similarly what would you do if a friend was dying? Sorry I just don't see the ROI here, don't think I can get much out of your last few months?

MatekCopatek 3y ago

Your statement is a specific framing of a friendship from an economical perspective. You may or may not find that perspective useful, but it's inevitably a simplification that focuses on some aspects of a friendship and leaves out others. The (grand)parent comment is arguing that the things left out are the ones they find important. A friendship can be analyzed through value, but that's not necessarily a good way to build and sustain friendships.

OkayPhysicist 3y ago
Literal social networks (not the internet thing, just systems of people who interact with each other) are quintessential reputation economies. They can be analyzed, but there's a lot of fundamental differences with monetary economies. Reputation, unlike money, cannot be freely moved around the network: Alice thinking highly of me has no effect on my standing with Bob, unless there's some other link between Alice and Bob. Reputation also isn't nearly as conserved as currency: Asking for and receiving a favor (extracting value) from Bob can often strengthen the relationship, rather than deplete it, depending on the size of the ask and our existing rapport. And that's just some relatively surface level stuff. You can model relationships in economic terms, but it's a very different type of economy. Given how bad we are at modeling money economies, relationship dynamics are probably a lost cause.

stubybubs 3y ago

I'm curious how this view works out when trouble comes up. If you have a friend going through a rough time for a few months or years, do you just say I'm not going to get caught up in the sunk cost fallacy and cut ties? Even when I've had friends with difficult times and we spend less time together. I still feel for them and my heart hurts, even if I can't be around them as much to protect myself if they're spiralling. Similarly what would you do if a friend was dying? Sorry I just don't see the ROI here, don't think I can get much out of your last few months?