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Speaking as someone who started literally from 0 in terms of developer knowledge a scant 3 years ago, and having been spat on, insulted and otherwise ridiculed

Speaking as someone who started literally from 0 in terms of developer knowledge a scant 3 years ago, and having been spat on, insulted and otherwise ridiculed for ever believing I could join the cult, I will say this: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I had code with security holes that you could drive a Mack truck through. I learned security. I had sloppy copypasta code. I learned OOP. I had inefficient code. I learned memory management processes and how to structure code better for efficiency. Could those who spoke down to me have been more helpful? More coddling? Not said anything at all? Sure. But who knows how that would have stunted my growth. It's good to have compassion, and it's good to care. But if you really want to be the best at something, you're going to have to want it. And if you really want it, when someone beats you down, you're not going to stay down. You're gonna learn how to hit back. As far as ultimately being where you want to be, sometimes it's simply the luck of the draw, and you have to understand how large a role that luck plays, as well, especially when you're being enchanted by stories of multi-million dollar startup investments.

apsurd 15y ago
All my life I have been known as the cold asshole because I am very critical and non-accommodating. So I just want to say something from a person that has always and still does believe that most people are weak. People don't do __, and are not good at ___ because they are weak etc. What that implies is that you can condition yourself to be stronger. Anyway, now that you know who I am, I just want to say, I wouldn't word it so much as And if you really want it, when someone beats you down, you're not going to stay down. You're gonna learn how to hit back. There is no need to hit back. Hitting back is a waste of effort on your part because it validates the hitter's position ; it gives him power. I know this sounds all philosophical but this is important to me because I have always been that guy (unknowingly) putting people down (to me I think I'm making them stronger). You can only control yourself and there will be a lot of assholes in life. The best thing you can do is to discipline yourself, over time, to see negative input and influence for what it is - negative. "Hitting back" (I know you mean this metaphorically) is also negative though, so that's why I say it's better to just focus on goodness. The goodness of yourself, and the fact that no matter how relatively terrible you may be, if you are better at it than yesterday, well that is a GOOD thing. Ok that's it.
- dclowd9901 15y ago
  Again, I probably got a bit carried away with the language, but when I say "hit back", I mean what my examples said: They got me with x, so I learned how to defend from x. They got me on y, so I learned how to defend from y. Sometimes it takes a gut punch to learn how to block a gut punch.
huggyface 15y ago
I will say this: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. This saying has always bothered me, Nietzsche or not. What doesn't kill you, in the literal sense, can often cripple, maim, or psychologically impair you. It could make you hesitant, lose confidence, or refuse to try again. Whether it's your life, or your professional career, the "failure or luck against adversity makes you stronger" bit seldom matches reality. Sorry to take that sidetrack, but it happens to be a saying that I wish would disappear.
- dj_axl 15y ago
  > refuse to try again The ways I've heard it are, "never let it happen again" and "learn from your mistakes", in other words don't make the same mistake again. Sure one refuses to try the exact same strategy again... because it didn't work the first time. That doesn't mean one stops trying altogether. Refactor/pivot and give it another go.
- dclowd9901 15y ago
  Agreed, it's trite, overused, and arguably obsolete phrasing. My point was more that we often face large degrees of adversity early on when we approach a difficult challenge. If we get up and walk away after we're knocked down in the beginning, we probably didn't want it that badly to begin with.
- kamaal 15y ago
  I think the phrase is used metaphorically. In other words it probably means. Tough circumstances may kill your(Bring you big failures) but you emerge stronger out of it once its over.
orbitingpluto 15y ago
An important thing to remember about those insulting your abilities to your face and behind your back. They have their own agenda and issues. That insult might not even have anything to do with you. You might just be collateral damage.

apsurd 15y ago

All my life I have been known as the cold asshole because I am very critical and non-accommodating. So I just want to say something from a person that has always and still does believe that most people are weak. People don't do __, and are not good at ___ because they are weak etc. What that implies is that you can condition yourself to be stronger. Anyway, now that you know who I am, I just want to say, I wouldn't word it so much as And if you really want it, when someone beats you down, you're not going to stay down. You're gonna learn how to hit back. There is no need to hit back. Hitting back is a waste of effort on your part because it validates the hitter's position ; it gives him power. I know this sounds all philosophical but this is important to me because I have always been that guy (unknowingly) putting people down (to me I think I'm making them stronger). You can only control yourself and there will be a lot of assholes in life. The best thing you can do is to discipline yourself, over time, to see negative input and influence for what it is - negative. "Hitting back" (I know you mean this metaphorically) is also negative though, so that's why I say it's better to just focus on goodness. The goodness of yourself, and the fact that no matter how relatively terrible you may be, if you are better at it than yesterday, well that is a GOOD thing. Ok that's it.

dclowd9901 15y ago
Again, I probably got a bit carried away with the language, but when I say "hit back", I mean what my examples said: They got me with x, so I learned how to defend from x. They got me on y, so I learned how to defend from y. Sometimes it takes a gut punch to learn how to block a gut punch.

huggyface 15y ago

I will say this: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. This saying has always bothered me, Nietzsche or not. What doesn't kill you, in the literal sense, can often cripple, maim, or psychologically impair you. It could make you hesitant, lose confidence, or refuse to try again. Whether it's your life, or your professional career, the "failure or luck against adversity makes you stronger" bit seldom matches reality. Sorry to take that sidetrack, but it happens to be a saying that I wish would disappear.

dj_axl 15y ago
> refuse to try again The ways I've heard it are, "never let it happen again" and "learn from your mistakes", in other words don't make the same mistake again. Sure one refuses to try the exact same strategy again... because it didn't work the first time. That doesn't mean one stops trying altogether. Refactor/pivot and give it another go.
dclowd9901 15y ago
Agreed, it's trite, overused, and arguably obsolete phrasing. My point was more that we often face large degrees of adversity early on when we approach a difficult challenge. If we get up and walk away after we're knocked down in the beginning, we probably didn't want it that badly to begin with.
kamaal 15y ago
I think the phrase is used metaphorically. In other words it probably means. Tough circumstances may kill your(Bring you big failures) but you emerge stronger out of it once its over.

orbitingpluto 15y ago

An important thing to remember about those insulting your abilities to your face and behind your back. They have their own agenda and issues. That insult might not even have anything to do with you. You might just be collateral damage.