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"credit -- credit so you can sit there longer, which is the goal. It's not about winning, it's about continuing to play."" My emotions are muted and it's horri
by themitigating 3y ago
"credit -- credit so you can sit there longer, which is the goal. It's not about winning, it's about continuing to play.""
My emotions are muted and it's horrible. Because of this I felt the most excitement in my life when I was gambling. When I lost it was disappointing, when I won I was happy, but when I was waiting to find out I had a visceral reaction similar to being a child waking up on Christmas morning. They were the most intense feelings I've ever experienced and when you go through life feeling very little it's wonderful.
I wonder now if that kind of excitement other people experience elsewhere in life, like when meeting a friend or riding a rollar coaster. If that's true I'm just fucked.
- pcthrowaway 3y agoI used to play poker pretty seriously (not necessarily super well, but let's say break-even on the game itself over about 2 years going to a casino at least once a week) The moments between going all-in and before the showdown (where the pot is decided) were pretty exciting, but not nearly as exciting as outdoor rock climbing
- themitigating 3y agoPhysical activity doesn't make me feel good. At best running on a treadmill for around 30mins gives me energy that feels good physically but doesn't really translate to mentally. I've tried intense hikes and other activities but it really doesn't do much. I have ADHD and on and off depression. Maybe borderline personality disorder as well. I did try anti depressants once but it only removed whatever little emotions I experienced, not worth it.
- beefield 3y agoOut of curiosity, have you tried "extreme" sports like skydiving or downhill biking? I have a theory that people into extreme sports have often muted emotions compared to ordinary folks.
- lobocinza 3y agoMountain biking is generally not extreme but can be super joyful (in retrospective maybe only the downhill segments are joyful).
- pcthrowaway 3y agoRock climbing is great for people with ADHD (speaking from personal experience) because you're mentally engaged, all-brain-cells-on-deck, gears turning at full capacity in what can feel in the moment like a life or death situation. But it's actually a clever brain hack; if you're following best practices regarding safety, and choosing routes which are also safe, there's very little danger
- lobocinza 3y agoTreadmills are boring. Try strength training. Can do it at any gym, low barrier to entry, good for health and provide more neurostimulation.