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I think what you call bullshit is a core part of the generally accepted definition of an introvert, so I'd want some more extraordinary proof than this in order

I think what you call bullshit is a core part of the generally accepted definition of an introvert, so I'd want some more extraordinary proof than this in order to be persuaded. > Ive met many self declared introverts who have no problem socializing for long periods in small groups with people they trust absolutely. How do you know they had no problem socializing for long periods? Did you ask them, or did they just not complain about it to you? Part of the issue for many introverts is the social expectation is often set by a more extroverted culture, and they just try to fit in. That doesn't mean they prefer chatting with you for four hours rather than, say, two hours.

pydry 3y ago
>How do you know they had no problem socializing for long periods? Did you ask them Yes of course. I think pretty much every self declared introvert Ive asked about this had 1-5 people for whom spending time with them didnt "drain" them - e.g. best friend, parent, spouse, etc. When they described what type of situations drained them that they enjoyed it would generally be something like going to a party where they didnt know anyone.
- em-bee 3y ago
  that's not enough evidence. while i would generally agree that it is true and matches my experience that the better i know people the less drained i get interacting with them, i have interacted with people i have never met before without being drained and i can get drained by people who i otherwise trust. in both cases what mattered was that i had to focus on them and not on myself. where i don't get drained with total strangers is when the topic of discussion is one where i can contribute a lot, vs a topic where i feel less secure. naturally interacting with best friends, partners and other close family, topics are often familiar and comfortable, and, uncomfortable topics are easy to avoid. at a party on the other hand it can be hit or miss, and usually hits are rare. out of several dozen events i can count two where someone i never met before and me found a topic so interesting that we were talking about it for hours. going home from those left me full of energy, when most others didn't.
CPLX 3y ago
> generally accepted definition of an introvert As far as I can tell this is really just true for a sort of Reddit centric extremely online crowd, in the category of “everyone knows” stuff that just originates from random message board postings that catch on.

pydry 3y ago

>How do you know they had no problem socializing for long periods? Did you ask them Yes of course. I think pretty much every self declared introvert Ive asked about this had 1-5 people for whom spending time with them didnt "drain" them - e.g. best friend, parent, spouse, etc. When they described what type of situations drained them that they enjoyed it would generally be something like going to a party where they didnt know anyone.

em-bee 3y ago
that's not enough evidence. while i would generally agree that it is true and matches my experience that the better i know people the less drained i get interacting with them, i have interacted with people i have never met before without being drained and i can get drained by people who i otherwise trust. in both cases what mattered was that i had to focus on them and not on myself. where i don't get drained with total strangers is when the topic of discussion is one where i can contribute a lot, vs a topic where i feel less secure. naturally interacting with best friends, partners and other close family, topics are often familiar and comfortable, and, uncomfortable topics are easy to avoid. at a party on the other hand it can be hit or miss, and usually hits are rare. out of several dozen events i can count two where someone i never met before and me found a topic so interesting that we were talking about it for hours. going home from those left me full of energy, when most others didn't.

CPLX 3y ago

> generally accepted definition of an introvert As far as I can tell this is really just true for a sort of Reddit centric extremely online crowd, in the category of “everyone knows” stuff that just originates from random message board postings that catch on.