I wonder if most of life is theatre sometimes. Had a mental breakdown one day when I was younger, when I was taking the bus to work - programmer at a healthcare

I wonder if most of life is theatre sometimes. Had a mental breakdown one day when I was younger, when I was taking the bus to work - programmer at a healthcare startup. And I was thinking about some homeless people - and in my head I didn't understand how I was so highly paid and these people - older than me, probably worked as mechanics in the past, or some job that was useful. Then there's me, where I was working daily on code that matches patient records. The company sends me to conferences like HIMSS and there's just all these other companies doing the same thing. I'm just like so I'm basically in sales - all this work that I do on patient matching is so that we can sell some kind of solution to others. What do these other people need it for? Why didn't they pick another company that was better and faster? What justifies my life being a happy existence moreso that someone that fixes cars. I mean that's useful, fixing a car. I still break down periodically and wonder why my life is justified to be so comfortable. Is it just that I've decided to sell out in specific ways that make me worth it over someone else? There also doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason why someone that fixes cars shouldn't be paid massively more. I mean from a utility perspective, this patient matching is just doing a lot of marketing fluff about saving time. It's all a superflous industry though. If things were done differently, there would be no patient matching. And in fact, is a medical record on a computer that much more life and time saving than paper records? How often does a diabetes patient really have a digital record on file that when they come after a car wreck, unconscious, that some specific medication should NOT be given. Are those ER doctors really going to query IHE web services to find this person and know something about them? It's all just weird to me, how we justify and move to the next thing. I guess without "progress" there will be someone complaining, so we keep changing. So the people worth having a house are willing to keep changing with the world. But it's all wrapped up in lots of salesy stuff an feels very immoral. And now I'm not even in healthcare anymore. So I don't even have that! I am no longer able to fake tell myself that "hey I'm saving lives - this is worth it". Is it truly our personal greed that drives us to make our lives meaningful. It's so that we can get that bigger house and faster Xbox and new clothes. Life is all theatre when you think about it. Maybe that's why it's easy to say "office is theatre for work" It's all theatre.