7 ms·

My advice is to stop trying to optimize every event in life, and live more serendipitously. Pick places at random, have low expectations, and spend your life c

My advice is to stop trying to optimize every event in life, and live more serendipitously. Pick places at random, have low expectations, and spend your life constantly being pleasantly surprised.

thomaspaine 15y ago
This strategy doesn't work so great with things like dry cleaners, tailors, and dentists. Yelp has the potential to be incredibly valuable with these types of services but I've been finding that the recommendations and reviews are close to useless.
deleted 15y ago
[deleted]
retube 15y ago
This. This. This. (Sorry to be so reddit). But seriously the joys of discovering a new city is trial and error. Why on earth follow the cyber crowds when the actual journey of finding new places - whether they turn out to be terrible or tremendous - by itself offers so many experiences and opportunities?
unoti 15y ago
Would it be considered bad, then, to ask my friends where they like to eat, and discuss it? All my friends live in North Carolina. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with talking over ideas of where to eat with friends. It doesn't mean that I'm living my life wrong. But let's just say for sake of argument that it's best to always be random and spontaneous. Tonight, you should randomly pick a channel on TV, and watch it. Or randomly select a movie. Maybe you don't watch TV or movies. Then a random book off the library shelf? I do in general terms like your suggestion about being spontaneous, and living in the moment, and embracing chaos and randomness. And here's a suggestion for you: don't tell other people how to live; it's unseemly. It's a nice suggestion, to live in the moment and be spontaneous, but it's highly impractical. Sometimes it makes sense to work with more information when it's available. Would you randomly select and just sit through a movie? A TV show? How about buying a random car? Selecting a spouse? Sometimes it makes sense to be discerning with limited resources. I'm as zen as the next guy, and live in the moment. I just got to this town, and I'd like to start my search with what people think are the most awesome places to eat. Is that so wrong? It's surely not as wrong as you guys thinking I'm conducting my life improperly for wanting information about where cool places to eat are.
- efsavage 15y ago
  Yelp is not a substitute for your friends. It's not even nearly as good as asking a random person on the street. If you're really stuck, go to a hotel and ask the concierge, they generally don't even care that you're not a guest if you're asking for something as simple as a restaurant recommendation.
  - lawnchair_larry 15y ago
    On NPR recently, there was a guy talking about a startup that works like Tripadvisor, but only shows you reviews within your social circle. This eliminates shills and only shows you opinions that have a known value to you. Maybe someone can steal that idea and apply it to restaurants.
    - eftpotrm 15y ago
      Big problem there - lack of data. Tripadvisor et al have the advantage that, with all the Internet posting (admittedly with dubious quality, but...), they can show a review of almost anything. Within my social circle? They won't even be 10% comprehensive for my own town, let alone once I start going away. Nice idea, won't work.
      - ryguytilidie 15y ago
        FWIW this just depends on your definition of social network. A friend of a friend's recommendation could show up as well.
      - hkmurakami 15y ago
        What if they expand the data by including reviews from people of second and third order of separation from the user? Each iteration would exponentially expand the data, and perhaps after four or five separations, you'd have sufficient data (though this may defeat the whole premise of getting data from your social circles)
        15y ago
jacques_chester 15y ago
Living every moment serendipitously has its problems too. Most folk are happier minimising their regrets; review services should help that to occur. Part of the problem with something like yelp is that there's no way to gatekeep the genuine and false reviews. Netflix or Amazon, for example, know what you actually paid for. Yelp's got no way to know if you really dined at the restaurant or whether you just know the owner.
- jrockway 15y ago
  Yelp's got no way to know if you really dined at the restaurant Don't they have "Yelp offers"? When you redeem one of these, it's probably because you ate at the restaurant. With the right software, they could even figure out what food you ate, who your server was, and if you tipped well.
- potatolicious 15y ago
  > "Most folk are happier minimising their regrets; review services should help that to occur." Regrets is a bit of a strong word, no? If I walk past a nifty looking sandwich shop and pop in for a meal, and it turns out to be sub-par, is that really a regret? I'm with jcampbell - if you are inclined to experience significant regret/remorse over having a meal that wasn't too great, it may be time to re-evaluate.
  - jacques_chester 15y ago
    > Regrets is a bit of a strong word, no? It's not as though I'm saying people are having long dark nights of the soul over a poorly-made salad. But they still feel regret because it's easy to imagine what they might have had. People will do a lot to avoid even minor regrets. Do you have a favourite restaurant? Do you have a favourite dish at that favourite restaurant? Do you ever feel even slightly reluctant to try a complete new dish at a completely new restaurant? Why? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulation_heuristic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulation_heuristic
  - dagw 15y ago
    For a sandwich sure, but if I'm paying $100+ then I think regret is a perfectly fine word, not just for 'losing' the $100, but also for the lost opportunity that I could have gone somewhere else and had really good food instead, especially if going out to eat is a rare and special occasion (as it is in my case, since I have a young child).
InclinedPlane 15y ago
No.... not constantly. Spend some of your time being pleasantly surprised. Spend some of your time being underwhelmed with overpriced mediocrity. Spend some of your time horrified by awful food and service. And spend some of your time with your ass welded to a toilet seat most of the day due to food poisoning. Exploring new restaurants is fun, but also potentially risky and typically needs to be moderated with some degree of caution and preparation.
hammock 15y ago
http://wheelof.com/lunch/ http://wheelof.com/lunch/
jordan0day 15y ago
I don't know if you're intentionally setting up a false dichotomy or what, but at face value your first sentence is a pretty unhelpful (and glib-seeming) platitude. It's not "always plan everything out to the nth degree or live life with no plans, whatsoever"... there's a lot of space to exist in-between. Wandering around and finding new places and experiences can be great, but it's not for everyone, and it's certainly not for everyone all the time. There are people who really don't like being "surprised", pleasantly or otherwise. It's not a failing on their part, it's just how they're wired. Services like Yelp are (ostensibly) great for these types of folks, since it allows them to try new things with a little bit of reassurance that if the new thing sucks, it shouldn't suck too bad. For, say, your tenth wedding anniversary, would you really just show up at the train station with your spouse and your low expectations, hoping to be pleasantly surprised by your randomly-chosen destination?
- jcampbell1 15y ago
  I haven't been married for 10 years, but yes we would be completely up for that. In fact, we never make reservations when we travel except for the plane ticket. I'll admit that I am personally quite extreme, probably because all my fondest memories are serendipitous events. I even do things like cut all the photos out of the lonely planet without looking at them. There is a big difference between seeing machu picchu without ever seeing a photo of it, and just going there. Having these types of experiences is getting harder, though it still happens often enough. You are absolutely right, though, my advice is not for everyone, nor all situations. I actually think I am wired a bit wrong, for instance I spent three days in and out of a hospital in Wulumuqi, and I have fond memories of the event, even though at the time it must have been miserable. All I can remember are the cute nurses, the funny glass IV bottles, the $35 CAT scan, and how surprisingly good the hospital was in the farthest place in the world from an ocean.
dgabriel 15y ago
The first yelp review I left was a result of serendipity. I was wandering around NYC with my beloved, and we wound up in the worst, most overpriced, awesome-mood-killing bar. It was so bad that I rely on yelp in new cities now. If only I'd looked it up on my phone, I would have saved us some agony. This article makes me sad, because I don't want to miss something great because sn owner is being extorted, but I am also incredibly wary of walking into a place without checking reviews first.
a_a_r_o_n 15y ago
Oh, gawd yes. Part of the fun of the world is that it's huge and surprising. Talk to your friends if you need a recommendation. Talk to a total stranger face to face if you need a recommendation.
snowmaker 15y ago
This was a totally unexpected, and yet perfectly appropriate response to the parent comment. I hope unoti takes this invaluable advice to heart.
khafra 15y ago
You're telling people to settle. Settling can make you happy, or at least satisfied; but it's bad signaling to settle too early.

My advice is to stop trying to optimize every event in life, and live more serendipitously. Pick places at random, have low expectations, and spend your life constantly being pleasantly surprised.

thomaspaine 15y ago

This strategy doesn't work so great with things like dry cleaners, tailors, and dentists. Yelp has the potential to be incredibly valuable with these types of services but I've been finding that the recommendations and reviews are close to useless.

deleted 15y ago

[deleted]

retube 15y ago

This. This. This. (Sorry to be so reddit). But seriously the joys of discovering a new city is trial and error. Why on earth follow the cyber crowds when the actual journey of finding new places - whether they turn out to be terrible or tremendous - by itself offers so many experiences and opportunities?

unoti 15y ago

Would it be considered bad, then, to ask my friends where they like to eat, and discuss it? All my friends live in North Carolina. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with talking over ideas of where to eat with friends. It doesn't mean that I'm living my life wrong. But let's just say for sake of argument that it's best to always be random and spontaneous. Tonight, you should randomly pick a channel on TV, and watch it. Or randomly select a movie. Maybe you don't watch TV or movies. Then a random book off the library shelf? I do in general terms like your suggestion about being spontaneous, and living in the moment, and embracing chaos and randomness. And here's a suggestion for you: don't tell other people how to live; it's unseemly. It's a nice suggestion, to live in the moment and be spontaneous, but it's highly impractical. Sometimes it makes sense to work with more information when it's available. Would you randomly select and just sit through a movie? A TV show? How about buying a random car? Selecting a spouse? Sometimes it makes sense to be discerning with limited resources. I'm as zen as the next guy, and live in the moment. I just got to this town, and I'd like to start my search with what people think are the most awesome places to eat. Is that so wrong? It's surely not as wrong as you guys thinking I'm conducting my life improperly for wanting information about where cool places to eat are.

efsavage 15y ago
Yelp is not a substitute for your friends. It's not even nearly as good as asking a random person on the street. If you're really stuck, go to a hotel and ask the concierge, they generally don't even care that you're not a guest if you're asking for something as simple as a restaurant recommendation.
- lawnchair_larry 15y ago
  On NPR recently, there was a guy talking about a startup that works like Tripadvisor, but only shows you reviews within your social circle. This eliminates shills and only shows you opinions that have a known value to you. Maybe someone can steal that idea and apply it to restaurants.
  - eftpotrm 15y ago
    Big problem there - lack of data. Tripadvisor et al have the advantage that, with all the Internet posting (admittedly with dubious quality, but...), they can show a review of almost anything. Within my social circle? They won't even be 10% comprehensive for my own town, let alone once I start going away. Nice idea, won't work.
    - ryguytilidie 15y ago
      FWIW this just depends on your definition of social network. A friend of a friend's recommendation could show up as well.
    - hkmurakami 15y ago
      What if they expand the data by including reviews from people of second and third order of separation from the user? Each iteration would exponentially expand the data, and perhaps after four or five separations, you'd have sufficient data (though this may defeat the whole premise of getting data from your social circles)
      - 15y ago

jacques_chester 15y ago

Living every moment serendipitously has its problems too. Most folk are happier minimising their regrets; review services should help that to occur. Part of the problem with something like yelp is that there's no way to gatekeep the genuine and false reviews. Netflix or Amazon, for example, know what you actually paid for. Yelp's got no way to know if you really dined at the restaurant or whether you just know the owner.

jrockway 15y ago
Yelp's got no way to know if you really dined at the restaurant Don't they have "Yelp offers"? When you redeem one of these, it's probably because you ate at the restaurant. With the right software, they could even figure out what food you ate, who your server was, and if you tipped well.
potatolicious 15y ago
> "Most folk are happier minimising their regrets; review services should help that to occur." Regrets is a bit of a strong word, no? If I walk past a nifty looking sandwich shop and pop in for a meal, and it turns out to be sub-par, is that really a regret? I'm with jcampbell - if you are inclined to experience significant regret/remorse over having a meal that wasn't too great, it may be time to re-evaluate.
- jacques_chester 15y ago
  > Regrets is a bit of a strong word, no? It's not as though I'm saying people are having long dark nights of the soul over a poorly-made salad. But they still feel regret because it's easy to imagine what they might have had. People will do a lot to avoid even minor regrets. Do you have a favourite restaurant? Do you have a favourite dish at that favourite restaurant? Do you ever feel even slightly reluctant to try a complete new dish at a completely new restaurant? Why? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulation_heuristic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulation_heuristic
- dagw 15y ago
  For a sandwich sure, but if I'm paying $100+ then I think regret is a perfectly fine word, not just for 'losing' the $100, but also for the lost opportunity that I could have gone somewhere else and had really good food instead, especially if going out to eat is a rare and special occasion (as it is in my case, since I have a young child).

InclinedPlane 15y ago

No.... not constantly. Spend some of your time being pleasantly surprised. Spend some of your time being underwhelmed with overpriced mediocrity. Spend some of your time horrified by awful food and service. And spend some of your time with your ass welded to a toilet seat most of the day due to food poisoning. Exploring new restaurants is fun, but also potentially risky and typically needs to be moderated with some degree of caution and preparation.

hammock 15y ago

http://wheelof.com/lunch/ http://wheelof.com/lunch/

jordan0day 15y ago

I don't know if you're intentionally setting up a false dichotomy or what, but at face value your first sentence is a pretty unhelpful (and glib-seeming) platitude. It's not "always plan everything out to the nth degree or live life with no plans, whatsoever"... there's a lot of space to exist in-between. Wandering around and finding new places and experiences can be great, but it's not for everyone, and it's certainly not for everyone all the time. There are people who really don't like being "surprised", pleasantly or otherwise. It's not a failing on their part, it's just how they're wired. Services like Yelp are (ostensibly) great for these types of folks, since it allows them to try new things with a little bit of reassurance that if the new thing sucks, it shouldn't suck too bad. For, say, your tenth wedding anniversary, would you really just show up at the train station with your spouse and your low expectations, hoping to be pleasantly surprised by your randomly-chosen destination?

jcampbell1 15y ago
I haven't been married for 10 years, but yes we would be completely up for that. In fact, we never make reservations when we travel except for the plane ticket. I'll admit that I am personally quite extreme, probably because all my fondest memories are serendipitous events. I even do things like cut all the photos out of the lonely planet without looking at them. There is a big difference between seeing machu picchu without ever seeing a photo of it, and just going there. Having these types of experiences is getting harder, though it still happens often enough. You are absolutely right, though, my advice is not for everyone, nor all situations. I actually think I am wired a bit wrong, for instance I spent three days in and out of a hospital in Wulumuqi, and I have fond memories of the event, even though at the time it must have been miserable. All I can remember are the cute nurses, the funny glass IV bottles, the $35 CAT scan, and how surprisingly good the hospital was in the farthest place in the world from an ocean.

dgabriel 15y ago

The first yelp review I left was a result of serendipity. I was wandering around NYC with my beloved, and we wound up in the worst, most overpriced, awesome-mood-killing bar. It was so bad that I rely on yelp in new cities now. If only I'd looked it up on my phone, I would have saved us some agony. This article makes me sad, because I don't want to miss something great because sn owner is being extorted, but I am also incredibly wary of walking into a place without checking reviews first.

a_a_r_o_n 15y ago

Oh, gawd yes. Part of the fun of the world is that it's huge and surprising. Talk to your friends if you need a recommendation. Talk to a total stranger face to face if you need a recommendation.

snowmaker 15y ago

This was a totally unexpected, and yet perfectly appropriate response to the parent comment. I hope unoti takes this invaluable advice to heart.

khafra 15y ago

You're telling people to settle. Settling can make you happy, or at least satisfied; but it's bad signaling to settle too early.