It’s probably a therapy-addressable issue. Getting defensive or appreciating it doesn’t mean by itself you’re doing it wrong or right. You have two conflicting

It’s probably a therapy-addressable issue. Getting defensive or appreciating it doesn’t mean by itself you’re doing it wrong or right. You have two conflicting inner responses here. The first is clear, “I‘ve dealt with unweighted (unjustified, stereotypical) decisions before and outcomes were bad”. The second is vague. It may be based on some social issue like (blind guess examples ahead) fear of being viewed as incompetent, authoritarian, insecure, etc. If you find what it is, you can work on it. Objective reality — like what’s actually better or worse or if they’re right — doesn’t matter here. People who are open to advices don’t accept them blindly, they also think. The key difference is they don’t get anxious either way. You should stop getting emotional first, and only then consider genuine appreciation or rejection of their advice. Find and kill the second response, it doesn’t do any good regardless of what’s objectively correct in each particular case.