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This exchange between HN users replicates conversations my wife and I have, almost to the letter. I suffer from GAD, where she suffers from ADHD, and while our
by 0xEF 3y ago
This exchange between HN users replicates conversations my wife and I have, almost to the letter. I suffer from GAD, where she suffers from ADHD, and while our neurodivergences are actively managed, we do notice that they tend to polarize us on certain topics.
To-Do Lists is one of them. Where she sees a way to organize herself and gets pleasure from "completing" lists, I see attempts to quantify an overwhelming amount of tasks that has no conveivable end. For my part, I have learned to adopt the mindset of "work stops when I decide I am done working," while is a healthy action for me that helps prevent my anxiety from running the show (and running me down), where as that same mindset would be abhorant to my wife. The funny part is that we both maintain about the same level of productivity overall, despite the opposing methods.
I suppose the take-away I am getting at is things like To-Do lists are going to be subjective, but the markets (particularly individuals that benefit from To-Do Lists) are going to treat them like a panacea for all that ails us. I refer to this promotion as Life Hack Hype, but I don't know if anyone shares my veiw or experiences on that.
- klyrs 3y agoYeah, I can definitely see that. For me, the stress differential is between an unquantified problem vs a quantified problem. But with GAD, I can definitely see how the process of quantifying the problem could become its own problem! Really glad for you that you've found balance with your wife!
- TeMPOraL 3y agoFun fact: GAD and ADHD aren't opposites, but quite related. Meaning, you can end up suffering the symptoms of both. FWIW, despite being more like GP's wife than GP themselves, "the process of quantifying the problem could become its own problem" is very much the case for me. It leads to some unique, hilarious (to an outside observer) ways of suffering.
- IggleSniggle 3y agoIt's super common to have both. It develops naturally from understanding how ADD affects you and stressing about what you might be forgetting or overlooking or whatever now. They can feed on each other. It's easy to imagine how ADD symptoms could develop from GAD. I was born with ADD, but developed GAD in my 30s in response to living with ADD.
- sph 3y agoFWIW I've loved using Todo apps in the last year since I started getting medicated for ADHD, but for the past couple months tasks have been accumulating endlessly. I haven't opened my Todoist pinned tab in two weeks. My medication is still working very well, but I've lost the drive of wanting to do things in an ordered fashion and decided to embrace my ADHD-fueled unstructured focus. I still use alarms and calendars for important stuff, I have a decent, productive daily routine, but the rest I play by ear and feel. It's exhilarating to have the focus to do things without the tyranny of the laundry list. I got too much stuff to do already to also tick what's on my todo list.