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Not just “others,” but other people who have no business whatsoever making such a judgement. If a person comes up to you on the street and, out of the blue, sa
by isykt 3y ago
Not just “others,” but other people who have no business whatsoever making such a judgement.
If a person comes up to you on the street and, out of the blue, says “you’re ugly!” Do you care? Surely not! You don’t know them, you’re not attempting to get a date with them, they’re not on your hiring committee.. their opinion simply doesn’t matter.
Moreover, this analogy is a generous one. At least “you’re ugly!” Has some sort of meaning. “The student is the problem” is so vague that it’s essentially meaningless. It contains no actionable component.
Taking things personally is rarely beneficial, mostly because it’s rarely about “you” anyway.
- caddemon 3y agoEh I think it's different when someone senior in your field makes a general judgement that would apply to you. That's not at all the same as a random person on the street. I also think it depends on how subconscious you are about the thing to begin with, and I imagine this student had their degree length on the back of their mind a lot. Whether it's beneficial or not isn't really the question. But it's a natural human response in this sort of scenario, and it does make sense why that became a natural response. Someone with more power than you openly doesn't like something that you were already worried about in yourself.
- isykt 3y agoOvercoming 'natural human responses' is key to growing as a person. Just because a response is 'natural' doesn't make it 'right' or 'healthy.' I get that the person who said this to the student is some kind of expert, but again -- taking it personally has no benefit at all. Until people learn how to differentiate opinions from people that matter from just noise, they'll continue to have anxiety about things they can't control.