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You are superior. Dancing around language does not make you less superior. Just be the boss, be honest, and be kind. Becoming friends or more than friends is

• jauntywundrkind 3y ago
  It might be helpful to ask, in what ways is someone superior? Are you the superior master of code skills & technical decision making? Are you the superior master at unit testing? If you are indeed superior across every dimension, you either have a bad team & should go work somewhere else, or you are clipping your teammates wings & obstructing their development. Do you have a position of superiority in the org chart? In many companies, yes. But also: you are overhead. You are a resource there to keep the engineers doing the thing. They are the ones doing the actual task the company actually wants done, not you: you may be higher up the org chart, but you are actually playing a superior, not lead role.
  • tjbiddle 3y ago
    Superior, as a noun, quite literally is "Having higher rank" If you're in management, you have the decision making power - and are the superior.
    • smcin 3y ago
      You can outrank people to whom your technical skills are inferior (or nonexistent). It depends entirely on the organization and its culture (is there some MBA glass ceiling? is there twin-track?) Most places aren't meritocracies, including the ones that claim to be. Conversely, technical skills may not matter above some ceiling. Again, depends entirely on the culture the organization chooses.
      • pickingdinner 3y ago
        Yes, superior rank and superior skill are completely separate. There is zero need to confuse the two. In a meritocracy, you may expect the superior rank to be given to those with superior skill, but the skill isn't what gives them the power once they have the rank, and it's the skill to get the rank that gets the rank, not the skill of your job.
    • pickingdinner 3y ago
      Ya, when the manager is comfortable dictating and the staff is comfortable being dictated (use whatever term you like), you have a far simpler and efficient work environment. If you can relax and just trust your boss, then you can also trust that you have it easier, especially if they're good at their job. They might be having to deal with someone that just treats them like overhead, who was most likely not hired by them. Good managers are also good with their boss, and likely a big part of how they were promoted to manager in the first place.
• P_I_Staker 3y ago
  This is really dark and toxic: 1. You're not superior. In fact, there's a good chance you're inferior in many ways. You have become disconnected from the "doing" part of the job, and this introduces problems. Not saying one is more important or superior. We all have our blind spots. 2. Telling yourself you're superior is the quickest path to believing it. When think you're superior, people will start noticing. A tiny fraction of people can reliably hide their feelings in the long term, and this behavior is arguably shady also. 3. People don't do well feeling that superior people are lording over them. Equality and control over one's own life brings more job satisfaction, and it's also the right thing to do. 4. We all help set cultural standards. If you think you're superior, others will too. They might not respect the same boundaries as you. ie. you're superior, but your responsibility is to be fair, so you judge by actions and don't play favorites. I heard this argument made by a drill instructor. If I start slapping a recruit, someone could throw his head into a wall. What makes you think you can effectively protect against managers that express superiority through dominance and abuse? Why would any measures be better than a culture of equality. 5. Starting a family should be joyous, not about the end of your social life. The reason sacrifice needs to be made primarily stems from our unforgiving work culture. The fact that we have to choose between family, friends, hobbies and health/fitness to such an extent is an injustice. 6. In my experience single people are often the biggest workaholics. This is because most people with families realize it's in their best interest (personally and for the family) to not prioritize work over family. Meanwhile, single people tend to have lots of disposable time, and always a little frustrated with the people with family commitments. It can go either way, with the guys hiding from their wives, and working late in the office. I find this really sad. I could probably go on, but I'll stop. I know this is pretty rude, but I think people who think this way need help. You might find yourself at a point in your life where you understand the value of friends, because your life is in shambles without them (same with family and career). It doesn't have to be that way, and we can work to improve these conditions. P.S. Just an example for those of you that think you don't need friends, I remember an account from reddit. Guy married for years. After a few decade wifes decides she's gonna have sex with other people. No friends. The guy was crushed. I see this happen all the time with family and career, too. It's fun to do that easy job, and you're happy with your social life? Good luck as you advance past your 30s, you can't "hang out" like you used to (nobody left without wife and kids), living paycheck to paycheck, very few opportunities, etc... around the same time you'll take a similar hit if you have no immediate family.