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> (This is a question, not a statement) It's just funny that you have to mention this is a question even if a question mark exists. It shows how much toxic peo

> (This is a question, not a statement) It's just funny that you have to mention this is a question even if a question mark exists. It shows how much toxic people got instead of understanding others.

blagie 3y ago
I actually think it's the opposite. There is a hyper-polite culture in the west where people tone down statements: - It's [X] - Have you considered it might be [X]? - Is it possible it might be [X]? - ... The goal is to not appear overly assertive / confident / arrogant. Once that happens, people start to read subtexts into questions, and all of a sudden, you need disclaimers. I like direct communications, so I find this obnoxious, but I don't think it's ill-willed or toxic.
- worldsavior 3y ago
  What you're mentioning is good and reasonable criticism. This is not what I'm talking about. You don't have to mention anything and be afraid of what people might say because you don't want toxic behavior towards you. People need to stop. Read, understand, conclude and write. This is basic communication.
  - blagie 3y ago
    This is basic communication within a traditional setting. There are at least two issues: 1) In a multicultural setting, words written and words read may carry different meaning. Words carry subtly different meanings, and tones and subtexts need to be translated. 2) Unless one takes 2 hours to draft each email, people will misspeak. Miscommunications are part of life. Any process needs to account for that.
bamfly 3y ago
> It's just funny that you have to mention this is a question even if a question mark exists. It shows how much toxic people got instead of understanding others. Excessively-defensive Internet writing style. You have to make everything clear in three different ways and over-explain everything so that careless, poor, or hostile readers won't/can't flame you or derail the conversation over something that isn't even actually true about your post. See also: disclaiming "in my opinion", sometimes more than once, for things that are obviously opinions, just to keep idiots from going "LOL that's just your opinion but you're stating it as fact" in all your responses. Once you notice this style, it's a can't-unsee kind of thing. Makes reading Web forums frustrating. This kind of distracting, mealy-mouthed crap is absent from any decent, say, traditional-publishing book or article, but is standard online. It's worse on HN (which, you'd think the whole "read generously" guidance would counter it pretty well—but no) than most places, but it's common all over. It's a bad way to write, generally, but there's a reason people do it in these kinds of contexts—one reliably draws lots more stupid or angry-for-dumb-reasons responses, when one does not so-write.

> (This is a question, not a statement) It's just funny that you have to mention this is a question even if a question mark exists. It shows how much toxic people got instead of understanding others.

blagie 3y ago

I actually think it's the opposite. There is a hyper-polite culture in the west where people tone down statements: - It's [X] - Have you considered it might be [X]? - Is it possible it might be [X]? - ... The goal is to not appear overly assertive / confident / arrogant. Once that happens, people start to read subtexts into questions, and all of a sudden, you need disclaimers. I like direct communications, so I find this obnoxious, but I don't think it's ill-willed or toxic.

worldsavior 3y ago
What you're mentioning is good and reasonable criticism. This is not what I'm talking about. You don't have to mention anything and be afraid of what people might say because you don't want toxic behavior towards you. People need to stop. Read, understand, conclude and write. This is basic communication.
- blagie 3y ago
  This is basic communication within a traditional setting. There are at least two issues: 1) In a multicultural setting, words written and words read may carry different meaning. Words carry subtly different meanings, and tones and subtexts need to be translated. 2) Unless one takes 2 hours to draft each email, people will misspeak. Miscommunications are part of life. Any process needs to account for that.

bamfly 3y ago

> It's just funny that you have to mention this is a question even if a question mark exists. It shows how much toxic people got instead of understanding others. Excessively-defensive Internet writing style. You have to make everything clear in three different ways and over-explain everything so that careless, poor, or hostile readers won't/can't flame you or derail the conversation over something that isn't even actually true about your post. See also: disclaiming "in my opinion", sometimes more than once, for things that are obviously opinions, just to keep idiots from going "LOL that's just your opinion but you're stating it as fact" in all your responses. Once you notice this style, it's a can't-unsee kind of thing. Makes reading Web forums frustrating. This kind of distracting, mealy-mouthed crap is absent from any decent, say, traditional-publishing book or article, but is standard online. It's worse on HN (which, you'd think the whole "read generously" guidance would counter it pretty well—but no) than most places, but it's common all over. It's a bad way to write, generally, but there's a reason people do it in these kinds of contexts—one reliably draws lots more stupid or angry-for-dumb-reasons responses, when one does not so-write.