I hate printers, especially HP, Epson and Canon, smashing them gives me great joy and relief. These mongrel devices cause me untold problems, waste my money,

I hate printers, especially HP, Epson and Canon, smashing them gives me great joy and relief. These mongrel devices cause me untold problems, waste my money, never print when I'm in a hurry, have nobbled ink cartridges that go belly-up with lots of remaining ink, have no manual override when printing stops for no apparent reason, or the slightest problem stops the print spooler, etc. etc. — ad nauseam! My way of dealing with these evil-intented contraptions is to chuck them out of a second-story window so they land on concrete. That softens them up for further bashing with a sledgehammer or axe. I always feel wonderful afterwards. What we need is a printer-smashing Olympics to find and finely hone the best methods! It would have different classes and categories—for example, 'Smash with forklifts', 'Destroy with .50 Browning Machine Gun', 'Drop from helicopter', and so on. Of course, there should be a special HP category aimed at finding the fastest and most inventive method of removing these evil devices from the planet. Crowd-sourcing would provide the prize money and the winners and best entries would have a special YouTube channel or TV series. Printer companies should be shamed out of existence and shareholders and investors in these companies should be publicly exposed and made a mockery of—like we once did when we chucked society's most egregious offenders in the stocks. Eventually, with enough effort we could bring these bastard printer companies to heel.