6 ms·

I just had a trip back to the small town island we moved from 8 years ago -- most of our cohort is in the "first kid is at the end of highschool/first year of c

I just had a trip back to the small town island we moved from 8 years ago -- most of our cohort is in the "first kid is at the end of highschool/first year of college" sort of age, most have two + kids. Not many relationships survived, the ones that did are the outliers. And they definitely don't fall into her two categories. Can't say smartphones really caused it, timing isn't really right for covid. There was a lot of historical trauma either childhood or through the relationships, and issues with teenagers not adjusting well to their additional independence. So, n=small, but I think there are a lot of reasons that relationships fail, and you can't really blame the smartphone for it.

BLKNSLVR 3y ago
(didn't read article, but...) If the relationship doesn't survive the smartphone, the relationship probably wouldn't have survived anyway. Relationships that survive smartphones are able to communicate properly and interact with each other and able to prioritise their life duties etc. If it wasn't the smartphone or would be some other distraction as the cause of tension. PlayStation, Xbox, sports cars, fishing, going out with the lads, shopping, watching reality television, tinkering in the shed, anything but doing the little bits of relationship maintenance that prevent it from falling apart.
- samuellevy 3y ago
  I did read the article, and it only vaguely describes the "problem" with smartphones in one paragraph, then it spends the rest of the article talking about the effects of the pandemic. The problem that it attributes to smartphones is that people will get distracted, then expect instantaneous communication, relationships require time & attention... But the thing that they're blaming smartphones for is nothing new. Communication has always been a difficult thing, and before people had their heads buried in smartphones, they had their heads buried in TV, or newspapers/magazines/books, or they just simply went to bars/pubs. The whole article seems like a vague, "hot take", nothing. It's an opinion backed up with zero research or evidence other than "I'm a couples therapist, trust me, I know."
  - BLKNSLVR 3y ago
    I read the article afterwards and it kind of petered out without taking much of a stance other than "go to couples therapy earlier than too late".

BLKNSLVR 3y ago

(didn't read article, but...) If the relationship doesn't survive the smartphone, the relationship probably wouldn't have survived anyway. Relationships that survive smartphones are able to communicate properly and interact with each other and able to prioritise their life duties etc. If it wasn't the smartphone or would be some other distraction as the cause of tension. PlayStation, Xbox, sports cars, fishing, going out with the lads, shopping, watching reality television, tinkering in the shed, anything but doing the little bits of relationship maintenance that prevent it from falling apart.

samuellevy 3y ago
I did read the article, and it only vaguely describes the "problem" with smartphones in one paragraph, then it spends the rest of the article talking about the effects of the pandemic. The problem that it attributes to smartphones is that people will get distracted, then expect instantaneous communication, relationships require time & attention... But the thing that they're blaming smartphones for is nothing new. Communication has always been a difficult thing, and before people had their heads buried in smartphones, they had their heads buried in TV, or newspapers/magazines/books, or they just simply went to bars/pubs. The whole article seems like a vague, "hot take", nothing. It's an opinion backed up with zero research or evidence other than "I'm a couples therapist, trust me, I know."
- BLKNSLVR 3y ago
  I read the article afterwards and it kind of petered out without taking much of a stance other than "go to couples therapy earlier than too late".