9 ms·

Please don't complain about how people use chat, it's super annoying. Just say "hi" back, it's not going to kill you.

jonny_eh 3y ago
hi
- throwbadubadu 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - johnea 3y ago
    [flagged]
    - mrdude42 3y ago
      [flagged]
lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
I'll be saying "hi" back the next hundred times they bother me with literally nothing. No thanks, I'll ignore it until they ask me something.
outworlder 3y ago
That wastes everyone's time. 'hi' is fine at a personal setting. At work, you waste time for a reply, then the reply to the reply, and only then the person will state their request. This can take hours if done across timezones. Just say "Hi. <Request>"
- bluepizza 3y ago
  How is typing "hi" a waste of time?
  - JoshuaEN 3y ago
    Because the initial "hi" forces a context switch which the recipient (after reading and replying) has to either: Sit idle while the sender writes their actual question, or try to context switch back for a tiny amount of time. 10:30:01 [Coworker] hi 10:30:12 [Me] hi 10:30:35 [Coworker] do you have time for a call? 10:30:39 [Me] sure Versus: 10:30:01 [Coworker] hi, do you have time for a call? 10:30:16 [Me] sure This example isn't really that bad, but it is showing basically the best case with a simple question. It gets a lot worse if the sender actually has to type out a long message, or if there's a gap between each response because the other person was busy at the time.
- bluefishinit 3y ago
  How is it "wasting time"? It takes less than a second to type "hi". Presumably you have something you're doing while you wait to hear back, no? Not being uptight and pedantic is far superior to trying to "optimize" everyone's time by forcing them to communicate in an unnatural way.
  - error_500 3y ago
    I’m so glad we don’t work together
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
  - lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
    > communicate in an unnatural way Neurodivergent individuals are expected every day to communicate in unnatural ways (to them). Everybody is different and everybody will communicate differently. People who have something to get done have their own responsibility to make sure their question or concern is addressed and saying "hi" with nothing else isn't doing them any favors. I appreciate that you voiced this opinion and especially that you're willing to back it up. If it helps, there are some who are at least kind enough not to pedantically reply with a link to this website. I might sometimes even choose to respond back with a "What's up?" but I don't make a habit of it as a rule.
  - eyelidlessness 3y ago
    The time wasted isn’t saying hi back. The time wasted is 1. Some nonzero time waiting in case of a prompt reply to the initial hi. 2. Some probably greater time waiting for an async response. 3. The time it takes to restore previous mental context and flow. 4. 1-3 again, but with the parties reversed. And, let’s be honest, probably for a longer duration. All time spent to convey approximately zero information.
  - barefootcoder 3y ago
    Because the query is an interruption. Frustratingly, about 30% of the time (or more!) the person who sent me the hi doesn’t send their actual question even if I respond almost instantly after it’s sent, so I’ve stopped responding to a bare hi. Moreover, now that I’m interrupted I can’t really go back to what I’m doing because I know that (presumably) a question is coming very soon, so the interruption clock has already started and I have to sit and wait while they painfully slowly type the actual question. And then there’s the frequent case where I get a bare hi, but cannot get back to it until a few hours later, and then that person is offline — but I don’t know what they needed, so I cannot ask them and cannot send a response. If they’d have just included their question then I could just answer it and we’d all be better off. I’ve just gotten to where I just refuse to answer a bare hi… if that’s all you’re willing to type, then I guess you didn’t need anything.
crop_rotation 3y ago
It just delays everything and wastes everyone's time. Nobody is complaining, more like a request that sending context with hello would save everyone's time.
Selfcommit 3y ago
I wonder if your tone and advice still make sense in these similar scenarios: 1. You have a large number of peers who start chat conversations with “Hi, are you busy?” That question is begged with just “hi” and implies a forced urgency. 2. All your coworkers start email threads with “hi” and wait for peers to respond before continuing. If that seems ridiculous, you now have an idea what “hi” is like for remote workers.
- gAI 3y ago
  If I've already emailed someone and they haven't responded in 48 hours, can I send a message that just says "Hi" or is "Hi, respond to your email" more appropriate?
  - jwagenet 3y ago
    It’s as simple as “Hey gAI, I sent an email about xyz the other day, have you had a chance to look at it?” No need to say nothing but hi or be indirect.
    - gAI 3y ago
      If someone's not responding to their emails, they've already failed to meet me halfway in communication. It's not my responsibility to go even further before they make a first attempt.
      - jwagenet 3y ago
        What a weird take. Unless you have immaculate email filtering or receive very few emails, it’s not hard for emails to slip through the cracks. You can complain about someone “not meeting half way” in a phone call or IM with read receipts, but email is one way communication until you actually get a response.
      - lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
        > they've already failed to meet me halfway in communication This hypothetical doesn’t seem to make sense (maybe I’m missing something). If the person is communicating ineffectively in email, what does it solve to send them a Slack (or whatever) message that simply reads, “hi”?
Dudester230602 3y ago
I assume that the person is gathering their thoughts and give them plenty of time without replying anything at all.
twodave 3y ago
Saying “hi” back implies that I have time to listen to you right now. Maybe I don’t, or maybe I’d like to wait to decide until I know what you want. And it’s not always “hi” anyway. I used to have one of our C-levels DM me on Slack almost daily with some form of “hellllp!” No context whatsoever. Eventually I figured out they had a list of people they thought were helpful and would just spam that list for any kind of thing they needed. I stopped responding and got myself off their list. Problem solved haha.
- bluefishinit 3y ago
  While the original article doesn't mention it, I think there are two issues here, one of which you allude to. 1. Someone in a position of authority making context-less contact: "hi", "helllp!"... this is going to cause anxiety and fear in nearly anyone and leadership should avoid doing this at all costs. 2. Regular people communicating in a "normal" way by starting a conversation off with "hi". Maybe they're not so online as to be honed with IM etiquette, maybe they just like to say hi. Regardless, their intent is not malicious and a healthy and collaborative culture should be able to handle their natural (and quite popular) social communication style.
summerlight 3y ago
If you get that kind of "hi" messages ten times a day you'll understand what death by thousand cuts is.

throwbadubadu 3y ago
[flagged]
- johnea 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - mrdude42 3y ago
    [flagged]

I'll be saying "hi" back the next hundred times they bother me with literally nothing. No thanks, I'll ignore it until they ask me something.

outworlder 3y ago

That wastes everyone's time. 'hi' is fine at a personal setting. At work, you waste time for a reply, then the reply to the reply, and only then the person will state their request. This can take hours if done across timezones. Just say "Hi. <Request>"

bluepizza 3y ago
How is typing "hi" a waste of time?
- JoshuaEN 3y ago
  Because the initial "hi" forces a context switch which the recipient (after reading and replying) has to either: Sit idle while the sender writes their actual question, or try to context switch back for a tiny amount of time. 10:30:01 [Coworker] hi 10:30:12 [Me] hi 10:30:35 [Coworker] do you have time for a call? 10:30:39 [Me] sure Versus: 10:30:01 [Coworker] hi, do you have time for a call? 10:30:16 [Me] sure This example isn't really that bad, but it is showing basically the best case with a simple question. It gets a lot worse if the sender actually has to type out a long message, or if there's a gap between each response because the other person was busy at the time.
bluefishinit 3y ago
How is it "wasting time"? It takes less than a second to type "hi". Presumably you have something you're doing while you wait to hear back, no? Not being uptight and pedantic is far superior to trying to "optimize" everyone's time by forcing them to communicate in an unnatural way.
- error_500 3y ago
  I’m so glad we don’t work together
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
- lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
  > communicate in an unnatural way Neurodivergent individuals are expected every day to communicate in unnatural ways (to them). Everybody is different and everybody will communicate differently. People who have something to get done have their own responsibility to make sure their question or concern is addressed and saying "hi" with nothing else isn't doing them any favors. I appreciate that you voiced this opinion and especially that you're willing to back it up. If it helps, there are some who are at least kind enough not to pedantically reply with a link to this website. I might sometimes even choose to respond back with a "What's up?" but I don't make a habit of it as a rule.
- eyelidlessness 3y ago
  The time wasted isn’t saying hi back. The time wasted is 1. Some nonzero time waiting in case of a prompt reply to the initial hi. 2. Some probably greater time waiting for an async response. 3. The time it takes to restore previous mental context and flow. 4. 1-3 again, but with the parties reversed. And, let’s be honest, probably for a longer duration. All time spent to convey approximately zero information.
- barefootcoder 3y ago
  Because the query is an interruption. Frustratingly, about 30% of the time (or more!) the person who sent me the hi doesn’t send their actual question even if I respond almost instantly after it’s sent, so I’ve stopped responding to a bare hi. Moreover, now that I’m interrupted I can’t really go back to what I’m doing because I know that (presumably) a question is coming very soon, so the interruption clock has already started and I have to sit and wait while they painfully slowly type the actual question. And then there’s the frequent case where I get a bare hi, but cannot get back to it until a few hours later, and then that person is offline — but I don’t know what they needed, so I cannot ask them and cannot send a response. If they’d have just included their question then I could just answer it and we’d all be better off. I’ve just gotten to where I just refuse to answer a bare hi… if that’s all you’re willing to type, then I guess you didn’t need anything.

crop_rotation 3y ago

It just delays everything and wastes everyone's time. Nobody is complaining, more like a request that sending context with hello would save everyone's time.

Selfcommit 3y ago

I wonder if your tone and advice still make sense in these similar scenarios: 1. You have a large number of peers who start chat conversations with “Hi, are you busy?” That question is begged with just “hi” and implies a forced urgency. 2. All your coworkers start email threads with “hi” and wait for peers to respond before continuing. If that seems ridiculous, you now have an idea what “hi” is like for remote workers.

gAI 3y ago
If I've already emailed someone and they haven't responded in 48 hours, can I send a message that just says "Hi" or is "Hi, respond to your email" more appropriate?
- jwagenet 3y ago
  It’s as simple as “Hey gAI, I sent an email about xyz the other day, have you had a chance to look at it?” No need to say nothing but hi or be indirect.
  - gAI 3y ago
    If someone's not responding to their emails, they've already failed to meet me halfway in communication. It's not my responsibility to go even further before they make a first attempt.
    - jwagenet 3y ago
      What a weird take. Unless you have immaculate email filtering or receive very few emails, it’s not hard for emails to slip through the cracks. You can complain about someone “not meeting half way” in a phone call or IM with read receipts, but email is one way communication until you actually get a response.
    - lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
      > they've already failed to meet me halfway in communication This hypothetical doesn’t seem to make sense (maybe I’m missing something). If the person is communicating ineffectively in email, what does it solve to send them a Slack (or whatever) message that simply reads, “hi”?

Dudester230602 3y ago

I assume that the person is gathering their thoughts and give them plenty of time without replying anything at all.

twodave 3y ago

Saying “hi” back implies that I have time to listen to you right now. Maybe I don’t, or maybe I’d like to wait to decide until I know what you want. And it’s not always “hi” anyway. I used to have one of our C-levels DM me on Slack almost daily with some form of “hellllp!” No context whatsoever. Eventually I figured out they had a list of people they thought were helpful and would just spam that list for any kind of thing they needed. I stopped responding and got myself off their list. Problem solved haha.

bluefishinit 3y ago
While the original article doesn't mention it, I think there are two issues here, one of which you allude to. 1. Someone in a position of authority making context-less contact: "hi", "helllp!"... this is going to cause anxiety and fear in nearly anyone and leadership should avoid doing this at all costs. 2. Regular people communicating in a "normal" way by starting a conversation off with "hi". Maybe they're not so online as to be honed with IM etiquette, maybe they just like to say hi. Regardless, their intent is not malicious and a healthy and collaborative culture should be able to handle their natural (and quite popular) social communication style.

summerlight 3y ago

If you get that kind of "hi" messages ten times a day you'll understand what death by thousand cuts is.