I've become a lot more happy when I made a family. There was that quiet desperation in the background that I muted out in favor of connectedness with my family.

I've become a lot more happy when I made a family. There was that quiet desperation in the background that I muted out in favor of connectedness with my family. For now my main goal is simple, survive enough to see my child turn 20ish, I will be in my 60s. When/if I get there I may move goalposts. During this time I plan to spend as much time with my family as possible but I also have some hobbies that I need to tend to from time to time. Between family, work and my hobbies there isn't much time left to ruminate on existential fears. I am thinking about mortality on a daily basis though not with anxiety but with acceptance. I constantly remind myself how lucky I am to still be around. It's certainly not the same kind of happiness that I was seeking when I was younger. It's a quiet one, with contentment of any modest gains in my goals. Even some losses put into this perspective are somehow more bearable. Are YOU happy? What kind of happiness are you looking for? I didn't get what I was initially seeking but stumbled on something else which is arguably more meaningful. Did YOU find a meaning in YOUR life?