4 ms·

Why I started a dating consulting service in San Francisco

18 points by heymicholi 15y ago

samstave 15y ago
No offense, but I just can't help but think that such services are nothing more than money making schemes off of "geeks". I'd recommend /r/malefashionadvice over a service that ostensibly would do the same thing. Re-wardrobe you and give your self esteem a boost. Are you charging money for this?
heymicholi 15y ago
No offense taken. I see where you're coming from. Styling is something I do AFTER getting to know you and what's going on beneath the surface. It should be a reflection of your own personal style and not all about what I [she] wants to see. Some of you don't know what your personal style is, but there's definitely potential. I'm here to help with that...but it starts with a conversation. I am not charging for this...yet.
- jordhy 15y ago
  I think there's a huge need for your service. However, your customers aren't going to be very open in public forums. Maybe you should think of strategies to take the conversation offline or in private/less exposed chat rooms.
  - heymicholi 15y ago
    You're right. But if you take into account how many of you are now aware of what I'm doing just by reading this post on HN (where a lot of you go), it's a good start. I don't anticipate potential clients setting up a meeting with me on here or in a comment on my blog. If it's not clear enough on my post, there are plenty of other ways to get in touch with me, including email >> hi@heymicholi.com If you can think of other "strategies" outside of an online 'hacker' forum, I'd love to hear from you.
garethsprice 15y ago
"I just can't help but think that such services are nothing more than money making schemes off of "geeks"." Technically this is true for any form of consulting service. Are consultants just running a "money making scheme" when they advise business owners on technology or management decisions? As long as the service is providing genuine value to clients then what's wrong with that? There is a stigma about paying for (or even seeking) advice in areas that are considered natural behavior, but for some (especially geeky types), seemingly natural behaviors are quite foreign. Having someone provide personalized advice, candid feedback and a confidence boost would definitely have had value for me when I was dating. Even now there are still a ton of social rules I'd love to understand that completely evade me :)
swalkergibson 15y ago
Learn. To. Dance. I do not mean goofy grinding to bad Top 40 or the running man - learn a ballroom dance. It really does not matter what it is, swing, Latin, waltz - just fucking do it. A lot of women like to dance and a lot of men do not. Knowing how to dance is like having bulletproof patents, a killer product, two million paying customers, and a personal endorsement from the President of the United States of how bitchin your company is. Get over your fears, take a class with a bunch of other newbies, and GO OUT! There is nothing more exhilarating than asking a beautiful woman to dance and her saying yes. It is truly a remarkable feeling that most men will never experience. It solves two problems. First, there is absolutely nothing worse than approaching someone out of the blue. It is super awkward, and unless you are Justin Bieber, never works. Two, physical proximity is a requirement on the dance floor. Attraction is enormously physical, and dancing is the best way to break that barrier without being a creeper. Find a beginner Salsa lesson in your area and get moving... EDIT: I forgot to mention one thing. Find another of your good male friends to learn with you. Women rarely go anywhere alone, and you need to be prepared to approach a group of people. Having another person there makes the first interaction a lot smoother.
lien 15y ago
I wish my ex would talk to you. I think most issues that couples have is really on communication, and a lot of time we misunderstand each other. We fail to look at our partner from his/her perspective. I broke up with my ex because he failed to see my point of view and lacked generosity on understanding how I feel. I find that most guys in tech fail to express feelings and emotions when they're in relationships and fail to see things from their partners' point of view. What girl would want to date someone who's only into himself? I think someone like you would help guys become more self-aware on what their actions have on their partners, and help them be more considerate. This is not about becoming someone you're not, but being more open and considerate about what their girlfriends when in relationship. Trust me, women don't need that much time, but how you can communicate that to us matters more.

18 points by heymicholi 15y ago

No offense, but I just can't help but think that such services are nothing more than money making schemes off of "geeks". I'd recommend /r/malefashionadvice over a service that ostensibly would do the same thing. Re-wardrobe you and give your self esteem a boost. Are you charging money for this?

heymicholi 15y ago

No offense taken. I see where you're coming from. Styling is something I do AFTER getting to know you and what's going on beneath the surface. It should be a reflection of your own personal style and not all about what I [she] wants to see. Some of you don't know what your personal style is, but there's definitely potential. I'm here to help with that...but it starts with a conversation. I am not charging for this...yet.

jordhy 15y ago
I think there's a huge need for your service. However, your customers aren't going to be very open in public forums. Maybe you should think of strategies to take the conversation offline or in private/less exposed chat rooms.
- heymicholi 15y ago
  You're right. But if you take into account how many of you are now aware of what I'm doing just by reading this post on HN (where a lot of you go), it's a good start. I don't anticipate potential clients setting up a meeting with me on here or in a comment on my blog. If it's not clear enough on my post, there are plenty of other ways to get in touch with me, including email >> hi@heymicholi.com If you can think of other "strategies" outside of an online 'hacker' forum, I'd love to hear from you.

garethsprice 15y ago

"I just can't help but think that such services are nothing more than money making schemes off of "geeks"." Technically this is true for any form of consulting service. Are consultants just running a "money making scheme" when they advise business owners on technology or management decisions? As long as the service is providing genuine value to clients then what's wrong with that? There is a stigma about paying for (or even seeking) advice in areas that are considered natural behavior, but for some (especially geeky types), seemingly natural behaviors are quite foreign. Having someone provide personalized advice, candid feedback and a confidence boost would definitely have had value for me when I was dating. Even now there are still a ton of social rules I'd love to understand that completely evade me :)

swalkergibson 15y ago

Learn. To. Dance. I do not mean goofy grinding to bad Top 40 or the running man - learn a ballroom dance. It really does not matter what it is, swing, Latin, waltz - just fucking do it. A lot of women like to dance and a lot of men do not. Knowing how to dance is like having bulletproof patents, a killer product, two million paying customers, and a personal endorsement from the President of the United States of how bitchin your company is. Get over your fears, take a class with a bunch of other newbies, and GO OUT! There is nothing more exhilarating than asking a beautiful woman to dance and her saying yes. It is truly a remarkable feeling that most men will never experience. It solves two problems. First, there is absolutely nothing worse than approaching someone out of the blue. It is super awkward, and unless you are Justin Bieber, never works. Two, physical proximity is a requirement on the dance floor. Attraction is enormously physical, and dancing is the best way to break that barrier without being a creeper. Find a beginner Salsa lesson in your area and get moving... EDIT: I forgot to mention one thing. Find another of your good male friends to learn with you. Women rarely go anywhere alone, and you need to be prepared to approach a group of people. Having another person there makes the first interaction a lot smoother.

lien 15y ago

I wish my ex would talk to you. I think most issues that couples have is really on communication, and a lot of time we misunderstand each other. We fail to look at our partner from his/her perspective. I broke up with my ex because he failed to see my point of view and lacked generosity on understanding how I feel. I find that most guys in tech fail to express feelings and emotions when they're in relationships and fail to see things from their partners' point of view. What girl would want to date someone who's only into himself? I think someone like you would help guys become more self-aware on what their actions have on their partners, and help them be more considerate. This is not about becoming someone you're not, but being more open and considerate about what their girlfriends when in relationship. Trust me, women don't need that much time, but how you can communicate that to us matters more.