2 ms·

Your requirements are kind of the issue. You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a lon

Your requirements are kind of the issue. You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship. Your career focused 26 year old woman is going to turn 29, wake up and realize she has wasted her time with you. If that’s a hard requirement for you, date 40+ women who already had children or already know they can’t. Online dating really zeroed out women in this demographic, as they get mostly filtered out except for grandpa or fetishists.

klardotsh 3y ago
"Wasted" is a strong word - especially when these kinds of things get filtered for early on to avoid exactly that. Thanks for the input I guess?
virtualritz 3y ago
> You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship. Stereotypes anyone? In my circle of female friends that's not unique but rather the norm.
- Spooky23 3y ago
  Sounds like it’s not the norm for the dude I was responding to. Hard and fast filters aren’t good for human relationships. The point is change it up a bit. Online dating in particular is a business designed to get you pay for online dating. People specify people like they configure a laptop and establish an unachievable vision of the perfect partner. Imagine discarding a person who was the perfect match for you because she was 5’8” (filter says 5’7” or less) and says maybe kids someday.
  - klardotsh 3y ago
    Kids is an extremely big deal, and equating it with height is frankly ridiculous. Height is a relatively insignificant matter - whoop de doo, an inch or three here or there, whatever. Kids cost tens of thousands of dollars a year to raise for 18 years and completely upend what someone is able to do with their life - forever. IMO it's one of the most important things to filter for - two people who want kids are compatible, one who wants and one who is ambivalent are probably compatible, but someone who never wants them (like yours truly) will never - ever - be able to successfully have a long term relationship with someone who actively wants children. It's a recipe for disaster for one or both partners (and if a kid manages to happen, probably the kid too - last thing the kid needs is to be a resented one).

klardotsh 3y ago

"Wasted" is a strong word - especially when these kinds of things get filtered for early on to avoid exactly that. Thanks for the input I guess?

virtualritz 3y ago

> You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship. Stereotypes anyone? In my circle of female friends that's not unique but rather the norm.

Spooky23 3y ago
Sounds like it’s not the norm for the dude I was responding to. Hard and fast filters aren’t good for human relationships. The point is change it up a bit. Online dating in particular is a business designed to get you pay for online dating. People specify people like they configure a laptop and establish an unachievable vision of the perfect partner. Imagine discarding a person who was the perfect match for you because she was 5’8” (filter says 5’7” or less) and says maybe kids someday.
- klardotsh 3y ago
  Kids is an extremely big deal, and equating it with height is frankly ridiculous. Height is a relatively insignificant matter - whoop de doo, an inch or three here or there, whatever. Kids cost tens of thousands of dollars a year to raise for 18 years and completely upend what someone is able to do with their life - forever. IMO it's one of the most important things to filter for - two people who want kids are compatible, one who wants and one who is ambivalent are probably compatible, but someone who never wants them (like yours truly) will never - ever - be able to successfully have a long term relationship with someone who actively wants children. It's a recipe for disaster for one or both partners (and if a kid manages to happen, probably the kid too - last thing the kid needs is to be a resented one).