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Another common reason for self-sabotage that the article doesn’t mention is ego. Failure sucks, especially when it’s because you just aren’t good enough. But i

by Swizec 3y ago

Another common reason for self-sabotage that the article doesn’t mention is ego. Failure sucks, especially when it’s because you just aren’t good enough. But if you self-sabotage, at least you were right. You thought you’d fail and you did fail. Ego wins! And who knows, maybe if you actually tried, you wouldn’t have failed! You weren’t not good enough after all, you just didn’t try. You totally could’ve done it if you wanted to, you just didn’t wanna. Ego stays nice and safe.

utexaspunk 3y ago
It is a common thing among those who grow up being praised for their intelligence. If one comes to base their self-worth on their intelligence and believe it is a static quality they were born with, struggling and/or failing could demonstrate that perhaps they weren't as smart as people gave them credit for and thus decrease their inherent self-worth. They quit things if they don't immediately excel at them or just adopt the "slacker" role and put in minimal effort, brushing off their failures as merely the result of not really caring about whatever it was they were attempting. "Eh, I could have been good at [x], but it bored me" or whatever
weard_beard 3y ago
Could be they just get tired of the falsity of their role in modern American corporate culture just like the rest of us. But when they burn out it’s more visible. Why shouldn’t they want to have opinions and goals and have needs that aren’t compatible with what they do for a living just like everyone else?
- Swizec 3y ago
  > Why shouldn’t they want to have opinions and goals and have needs that aren’t compatible with what they do for a living just like everyone else? The article is about people who say they want these things, but act in a way that ensures they won’t get what they claim to want. If they’re lying and don’t actually want the achievements they claim to want, that’s hard to tell from outside. Best we can do is take their word. But you are right that revealed preferences win in the end. You are what you do.
rapsey 3y ago
You misunderstand, the entire article is about ego it is just not framed as such. They have a debilitating ego problem preventing them from doing anything that migh result in a hit to it.
- bluepod4 3y ago
  You misunderstand. This “article” is just a blog post. The musings of an inexperienced college student.
Zetice 3y ago
I think it's rarely this simple, speaking as someone who actively self sabotaged through my first aborted attempt at college in a much less prestigious institution than Harvard. Maybe that's what's at the root of it, but it's rarely what these kids tell themselves, I don't think. Much more of a discovery about how delayed consequences are when you just ignore them, and how good it feels to focus on the random highs you can get over the satisfaction of a job well done that doesn't pay off for a long time. Before you've ever skipped class, the presumption is the world ends were that to happen. Then you get so drunk you sleep through the alarm and... wait, nothing? Nobody cared?! You can just go get drunk, miss class, and your parents don't come out of the walls to beat you??? There are a lot of kids, I think, who've been driven through their academic lives via purely "stick" incentives. When they find out there isn't a stick looming over their head immediately, and there are a lot of distracting "carrots" within short reach, it's hard to come back from.

by Swizec 3y ago

utexaspunk 3y ago

It is a common thing among those who grow up being praised for their intelligence. If one comes to base their self-worth on their intelligence and believe it is a static quality they were born with, struggling and/or failing could demonstrate that perhaps they weren't as smart as people gave them credit for and thus decrease their inherent self-worth. They quit things if they don't immediately excel at them or just adopt the "slacker" role and put in minimal effort, brushing off their failures as merely the result of not really caring about whatever it was they were attempting. "Eh, I could have been good at [x], but it bored me" or whatever

weard_beard 3y ago

Could be they just get tired of the falsity of their role in modern American corporate culture just like the rest of us. But when they burn out it’s more visible. Why shouldn’t they want to have opinions and goals and have needs that aren’t compatible with what they do for a living just like everyone else?

Swizec 3y ago
> Why shouldn’t they want to have opinions and goals and have needs that aren’t compatible with what they do for a living just like everyone else? The article is about people who say they want these things, but act in a way that ensures they won’t get what they claim to want. If they’re lying and don’t actually want the achievements they claim to want, that’s hard to tell from outside. Best we can do is take their word. But you are right that revealed preferences win in the end. You are what you do.

rapsey 3y ago

You misunderstand, the entire article is about ego it is just not framed as such. They have a debilitating ego problem preventing them from doing anything that migh result in a hit to it.

bluepod4 3y ago
You misunderstand. This “article” is just a blog post. The musings of an inexperienced college student.

Zetice 3y ago

I think it's rarely this simple, speaking as someone who actively self sabotaged through my first aborted attempt at college in a much less prestigious institution than Harvard. Maybe that's what's at the root of it, but it's rarely what these kids tell themselves, I don't think. Much more of a discovery about how delayed consequences are when you just ignore them, and how good it feels to focus on the random highs you can get over the satisfaction of a job well done that doesn't pay off for a long time. Before you've ever skipped class, the presumption is the world ends were that to happen. Then you get so drunk you sleep through the alarm and... wait, nothing? Nobody cared?! You can just go get drunk, miss class, and your parents don't come out of the walls to beat you??? There are a lot of kids, I think, who've been driven through their academic lives via purely "stick" incentives. When they find out there isn't a stick looming over their head immediately, and there are a lot of distracting "carrots" within short reach, it's hard to come back from.