I'm in the same boat, and honestly it is comforting to see things like this. I feel like seeing that others are in the same place and struggle with the same thi

I'm in the same boat, and honestly it is comforting to see things like this. I feel like seeing that others are in the same place and struggle with the same things makes me feel like I can get over it too. I do almost the exact same things as well - massive weight gain, HUGE sleep problems (to the point where I end up going to sleep as the sunrise, sleeping all day), lack of exercise, avoiding friends/gatherings, etc. I haven't left my apartment in 4 days now. All of this while running a semi-successful (to the point where it pays my bills) consumer facing service company. It is difficult. It's difficult when I can't bring myself to answer the phone, call someone back, or give them an update on an order. I have history of severe mental illness in my family, and it is actually a bit of a motivator to think of them. The family member in particular literally has spent 10-12 years trying to have a normal life while sleeping 12-18 hours a day, heavily medicated, in and out of hospitals (easily half the year in the hospital, for the past 15+ years), and 100+ ECT treatments. I don't want to be that. I don't want to get that far, and it pushes me to pick up that damn phone or send that email. I know that is a bit twisted, but it works for me. I don't want to hit that low. Oddly enough, any time I've ever seriously contemplated suicide, I've stopped precisely because I know what it would do to this person - I can't imagine bringing that much pain to my family and making them go through that. I don't know if they could handle it. I've had the unfortunate experience of walking in on a suicide attempt and driving their blood covered body to the hospital, and I know the way I felt there is nothing I would ever put someone through, no matter how much I wanted to. I also have literally zero interest in talking about it - which is tough, but I know the first reaction from my family would be medication, and I absolutely refuse. I'm rambling now, but that's probably good. Interesting what you'll say on a throwaway that you'd never dare with your name attached.