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> But maybe we should start with a mirror, and collectively ask, "Why are so many so unhappy?" Because that's the default.. People haven't evolved to be happy;

> But maybe we should start with a mirror, and collectively ask, "Why are so many so unhappy?" Because that's the default.. People haven't evolved to be happy; we have evolved to barely survive to have kids and care for them so that a few become adults. Being happy is the exception, you should ask how anyone manages that.

nemo44x 3y ago
I sort of agree with this. We’ve been marketed to that we should be happy and that buying <thing|experience> will make us happy. These <things|experiences> will bring pleasure but they don’t create meaningful happiness. As if pleasure and happiness are the same thing. But they are often conflated. I can’t tell or teach people “how to be happy”. I’m not even sure that’s possible or if it’s something everyone can do or would really want to. But I do know that being hooked on a treadmill of pleasurable experiences isn’t it.
- newacct3 3y ago
  > We’ve been marketed to that we should be happy and that buying <thing|experience> will make us happy. Seems like the entirely idea of happiness has been semiotically highjacked by marketing, morality, other things When I mentally picture "happiness", all I really see is a bunch of behaviors that are frequently depicted as desirable in the aggregate by media and others The Buddhists are a lot more sane about this than we are. Imo there's so much residue around the word "happiness", in order to achieve a sense of peace it's better to just throw it out and take each day at a time
- vorpalhex 3y ago
  Happiness is a state of mind, and is a (mental, emotional) place, and that place is easier to occupy if your life is setup to make it easier. A few good friends, a romantic partner, meaningful work, kids is sort of the usual and probably pretty safe recipe. It's possible to have these things and be miserable, and it's possible to have none of them and be blissfully happy. Aristotle wrote a pretty solid book on the topic.
chiefalchemist 3y ago
The default is resorting to drugs, alcohol, other destructive behaviour, and even suicide? Maybe. But this isn't a universal default. These escapes at this level isn't happening everywhere in every culture, is it?
- standardUser 3y ago
  Why are using drugs and alcohol automatically destructive behaviours? I imagine you know and work with many people who use drugs and/or alcohol and also have families, friends, hobbies, career trajectories and are overall reasonably happy, well-adjusted people. I mean, that describes virtually everyone I know! The problem cases certainly exist, but within my personal world, those people are the exceptions.

nemo44x 3y ago

I sort of agree with this. We’ve been marketed to that we should be happy and that buying <thing|experience> will make us happy. These <things|experiences> will bring pleasure but they don’t create meaningful happiness. As if pleasure and happiness are the same thing. But they are often conflated. I can’t tell or teach people “how to be happy”. I’m not even sure that’s possible or if it’s something everyone can do or would really want to. But I do know that being hooked on a treadmill of pleasurable experiences isn’t it.

newacct3 3y ago
> We’ve been marketed to that we should be happy and that buying <thing|experience> will make us happy. Seems like the entirely idea of happiness has been semiotically highjacked by marketing, morality, other things When I mentally picture "happiness", all I really see is a bunch of behaviors that are frequently depicted as desirable in the aggregate by media and others The Buddhists are a lot more sane about this than we are. Imo there's so much residue around the word "happiness", in order to achieve a sense of peace it's better to just throw it out and take each day at a time
vorpalhex 3y ago
Happiness is a state of mind, and is a (mental, emotional) place, and that place is easier to occupy if your life is setup to make it easier. A few good friends, a romantic partner, meaningful work, kids is sort of the usual and probably pretty safe recipe. It's possible to have these things and be miserable, and it's possible to have none of them and be blissfully happy. Aristotle wrote a pretty solid book on the topic.

chiefalchemist 3y ago

The default is resorting to drugs, alcohol, other destructive behaviour, and even suicide? Maybe. But this isn't a universal default. These escapes at this level isn't happening everywhere in every culture, is it?

standardUser 3y ago
Why are using drugs and alcohol automatically destructive behaviours? I imagine you know and work with many people who use drugs and/or alcohol and also have families, friends, hobbies, career trajectories and are overall reasonably happy, well-adjusted people. I mean, that describes virtually everyone I know! The problem cases certainly exist, but within my personal world, those people are the exceptions.