5 ms·

Talking about your family is way easier when you're a heterosexual married couple with 2.5 kids and a dog.

by faitswulff 3y ago

thejackgoode 3y ago
on the flip side (if you're not), the talk is much more interesting and memorable
- faitswulff 3y ago
  And if you're gay and the interviewer is a homophobe you won't get the job. It's a matter of risk management.
  - harlanji 3y ago
    Or homeless and the interviewer is a homelessphobe. Trying to be additive to the sentiment, not take anything away. I've stopped interviewing for corporate jobs until I can get my money up. Probably an easier hurdle to overcome in some ways, since I can pay my homeless away with temp jobs and have a clear path to acceptance: nice shoes and clothes, reliable phone service, a presentable and quiet place for video calls. There is a real cost to each interview, otherwise it'd be easier to just keep doing them and count each instance of discrimination as a data point and assistance in helping us avoid an environment that isn't a fit. A funny thing is that people used to think I was gay because I presented myself a little too well and was a little too gentle in my attitude or something. Now I'm out here doing construction demolition and I'm a little too rugged looking to make my old friends comfortable. Best wishes to everyone who has a hard time finding an environment where they fit.
  - kjkjadksj 3y ago
    If you are gay why work for a homophobe? Seems like you’ve dodged a bullet.
    - faitswulff 3y ago
      Because marginalized folks don't always have a choice.
scarface_74 3y ago
We are told at BigTech interview training that if a candidate starts talking about any area that is protected, immediately change the subject. But when I was interviewing at your normal corp dev or startup, I would purposefully try to squeeze in tidbits about my personal life to hint at how important I found work life balance so companies who didn’t respect that would filter me out.
- goostavos 3y ago
  Are we supposed to be that subtle? I've just been bluntly asking "what is your work/life balance?" "how often / at what times are you paged?" and other super direct questions. If I show up and it sucks, I'm just going to leave anyways, so... seems better to just be super clear that the salary buys you normal work hours. Want more? pay more.

Talking about your family is way easier when you're a heterosexual married couple with 2.5 kids and a dog.

thejackgoode 3y ago

on the flip side (if you're not), the talk is much more interesting and memorable

faitswulff 3y ago
And if you're gay and the interviewer is a homophobe you won't get the job. It's a matter of risk management.
- harlanji 3y ago
  Or homeless and the interviewer is a homelessphobe. Trying to be additive to the sentiment, not take anything away. I've stopped interviewing for corporate jobs until I can get my money up. Probably an easier hurdle to overcome in some ways, since I can pay my homeless away with temp jobs and have a clear path to acceptance: nice shoes and clothes, reliable phone service, a presentable and quiet place for video calls. There is a real cost to each interview, otherwise it'd be easier to just keep doing them and count each instance of discrimination as a data point and assistance in helping us avoid an environment that isn't a fit. A funny thing is that people used to think I was gay because I presented myself a little too well and was a little too gentle in my attitude or something. Now I'm out here doing construction demolition and I'm a little too rugged looking to make my old friends comfortable. Best wishes to everyone who has a hard time finding an environment where they fit.
- kjkjadksj 3y ago
  If you are gay why work for a homophobe? Seems like you’ve dodged a bullet.
  - faitswulff 3y ago
    Because marginalized folks don't always have a choice.

scarface_74 3y ago

We are told at BigTech interview training that if a candidate starts talking about any area that is protected, immediately change the subject. But when I was interviewing at your normal corp dev or startup, I would purposefully try to squeeze in tidbits about my personal life to hint at how important I found work life balance so companies who didn’t respect that would filter me out.

goostavos 3y ago
Are we supposed to be that subtle? I've just been bluntly asking "what is your work/life balance?" "how often / at what times are you paged?" and other super direct questions. If I show up and it sucks, I'm just going to leave anyways, so... seems better to just be super clear that the salary buys you normal work hours. Want more? pay more.