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To say that alcohol distills down to being able to socialize doesn’t fit. Socializing is not hard. Are you at a party? Approach people you don’t know the way yo

To say that alcohol distills down to being able to socialize doesn’t fit. Socializing is not hard. Are you at a party? Approach people you don’t know the way you want to be approached. Wear a sincere smile, give some distance, give your name, ask them who they know at the party, respond with who you know. Most likely you will know the same people so chat about that. Say where you live then ask them where they live. Listen to their response. Ask them what they like about where they live. Ask what you should see if you visit their neighborhood. Ask what they think of the music. Listen to their response. Thank them for sharing their opinion. Be self deprecating. Let them talk and you add the odd comment. Alcohol is not required for that. All that’s required is to be sincerely interested in people.

solumunus 3y ago
Socialising is hard for many people, this is well known…
ThePowerOfFuet 3y ago
>Socializing is not hard. lol. >Are you at a party? Approach people you don’t know LOL. My man, if only you had a shred of an idea of how things really are for many people.
garyrob 3y ago
> To say that alcohol distills down to being able to socialize doesn’t fit. Socializing is not hard. Are you at a party? Approach people you don’t know the way you want to be approached. Wear a sincere smile, give some distance, give your name, ask them who they know at the party, respond with who you know. YMMV. If you have real social anxiety, the above is just about impossible. People who haven't experienced it just don't know. It's extremely difficult to understand if you haven't been there. Normal shyness is a different animal. It's sort of like depression. Although people may think you should just snap out of it, you can't. And alcohol definitely can help. Believe me, I know. My life was pretty much dominated by social anxiety in my college years and 20's. Gradually it's gotten much better. I never drank a lot, but in those social situations where my self-consciousness made it pretty much impossible to do as you suggest, having some alcohol really made a positive difference. (This was long ago, I'm 67 now.) I don't recommend using it that way if you also have any other characteristics that could turn you into an alcoholic, because it's possible you'll stop using it and it will start using you. It's dangerous. It can destroy your life. But for me, in specific situations when I needed some help in order to be less self-conscious and more out there, it did help. (Therapy pretty much didn't, for me, but in recent years, meditation does.)
thankyoucd7 3y ago
Responses like this are a great indicator of never having had troubles socializing. Some hints of what might go wrong for people more pathetic than you could ever imagine existing: * Not having the chance to go to a party. (i.e. never being invited, or being in government-mandated house arrest for years to accomodate for other people who might die of a certain disease. Or both.) * Having the chance to go to a party, but still refusing because of the dread going to a party induces. (Possibly related to trauma caused by previously going to a party, see below. (Or any trauma caused by other humans, really.)) * Actually going to a party, but not having the communication skills to naturally start a conversation with some random person. * Starting a conversation nevertheless, only to come to the same conclusion (also traumatizing yourself in the process after you get ignored). * As an extension: trying to join a conversation, but being ignored by all participants for being uninteresting, annoying, weird, or simply ugly. (Or all of the former.) * Sitting/standing alone for most of the party because of the aforementioned problems, then after a few occasions deciding that surely this wasn't worth the time and never going to a party again. Alcohol may or may not help with these problems. (It doesn't for me, so in the end I just gave up.)
- voidmain0001 3y ago
  I am introverted and I have had to go out of my way to do what I suggested. So, replace party with workplace, or grocery store, or laundromat. The setting doesn't matter. Health issues can't be changed and that's a tragedy but still the person will interact with health care workers and social workers. Use them for socializing. Is not having communication skills really a valid excuse? I assume we have all learned some sort of skill to support our adult selves financially so learn to communicate. I will admit that the point about someone writing you off as ugly, weird, annoying, not interesting is tough as I have felt that. I had to learn to be sincerely interested in the whole person and not the superficial. If the person has a defensive wall up that doesn't let me get to know them then I won't press it.
gedy 3y ago
I think it's better to say a social lubricant for getting sex. Walking up and chatting is not the same as loosening people up for potential hook ups (unless you're really gorgeous to begin with)

solumunus 3y ago

Socialising is hard for many people, this is well known…

ThePowerOfFuet 3y ago

>Socializing is not hard. lol. >Are you at a party? Approach people you don’t know LOL. My man, if only you had a shred of an idea of how things really are for many people.

garyrob 3y ago

> To say that alcohol distills down to being able to socialize doesn’t fit. Socializing is not hard. Are you at a party? Approach people you don’t know the way you want to be approached. Wear a sincere smile, give some distance, give your name, ask them who they know at the party, respond with who you know. YMMV. If you have real social anxiety, the above is just about impossible. People who haven't experienced it just don't know. It's extremely difficult to understand if you haven't been there. Normal shyness is a different animal. It's sort of like depression. Although people may think you should just snap out of it, you can't. And alcohol definitely can help. Believe me, I know. My life was pretty much dominated by social anxiety in my college years and 20's. Gradually it's gotten much better. I never drank a lot, but in those social situations where my self-consciousness made it pretty much impossible to do as you suggest, having some alcohol really made a positive difference. (This was long ago, I'm 67 now.) I don't recommend using it that way if you also have any other characteristics that could turn you into an alcoholic, because it's possible you'll stop using it and it will start using you. It's dangerous. It can destroy your life. But for me, in specific situations when I needed some help in order to be less self-conscious and more out there, it did help. (Therapy pretty much didn't, for me, but in recent years, meditation does.)

thankyoucd7 3y ago

Responses like this are a great indicator of never having had troubles socializing. Some hints of what might go wrong for people more pathetic than you could ever imagine existing: * Not having the chance to go to a party. (i.e. never being invited, or being in government-mandated house arrest for years to accomodate for other people who might die of a certain disease. Or both.) * Having the chance to go to a party, but still refusing because of the dread going to a party induces. (Possibly related to trauma caused by previously going to a party, see below. (Or any trauma caused by other humans, really.)) * Actually going to a party, but not having the communication skills to naturally start a conversation with some random person. * Starting a conversation nevertheless, only to come to the same conclusion (also traumatizing yourself in the process after you get ignored). * As an extension: trying to join a conversation, but being ignored by all participants for being uninteresting, annoying, weird, or simply ugly. (Or all of the former.) * Sitting/standing alone for most of the party because of the aforementioned problems, then after a few occasions deciding that surely this wasn't worth the time and never going to a party again. Alcohol may or may not help with these problems. (It doesn't for me, so in the end I just gave up.)

voidmain0001 3y ago
I am introverted and I have had to go out of my way to do what I suggested. So, replace party with workplace, or grocery store, or laundromat. The setting doesn't matter. Health issues can't be changed and that's a tragedy but still the person will interact with health care workers and social workers. Use them for socializing. Is not having communication skills really a valid excuse? I assume we have all learned some sort of skill to support our adult selves financially so learn to communicate. I will admit that the point about someone writing you off as ugly, weird, annoying, not interesting is tough as I have felt that. I had to learn to be sincerely interested in the whole person and not the superficial. If the person has a defensive wall up that doesn't let me get to know them then I won't press it.

gedy 3y ago

I think it's better to say a social lubricant for getting sex. Walking up and chatting is not the same as loosening people up for potential hook ups (unless you're really gorgeous to begin with)