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Everytime github goes down, and my push/pull is rejected, I immediately assume they’ve discovered I’m incompetent and fired me. And I’m the head of engineering

Everytime github goes down, and my push/pull is rejected, I immediately assume they’ve discovered I’m incompetent and fired me. And I’m the head of engineering at my company.

antoineMoPa 3y ago
> And I’m the head of engineering at my company. Haha! Happy to see impostor syndrome goes all the way to the top of the hierarchy.
- dreday 3y ago
  Something that I've found that helps me with impostor syndrome is to read and talk about it. Check out this Ted talk from the co-founder of Atlassian. https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_use_impostor_syndrome_to_your_benefit?language=en https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_us...
vrosas 3y ago
You’re not alone.
Maxion 3y ago
I think the same thing every time my credentials to our issue tracker expires and I have to log in again. I am the lead dev on two projects.
- CommitSyn 3y ago
  Is there a name for firing trauma? I'm like this ever since I was scapegoated.
  - scrum-treats 3y ago
    Can you describe what happened that qualifies as "scapegoated"?
  - pandacake 3y ago
    Sudden self-awareness of bias? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36508656 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36508656
  - AdamJacobMuller 3y ago
    I got logged out of our slack today, which I'm the primary owner of, and I was also wondering this. I've also never been fired, so, it isn't always linked to trauma from past firings.
  - jachee 3y ago
    I’m no mental health professional, but that sounds like literal PTSD, to me.
    - berniedurfee 3y ago
      There’s a long list of signals that can trigger folks into layoff panic.
  - addandsubtract 3y ago
    Borderline imposter syndrome?
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
aliasxneo 3y ago
I resonate with this.
morkalork 3y ago
Sounds kind of like those dreams where you can only run slowly, punch with noodly arms and trying to turn on a light just has a dim effect.
mantra2 3y ago
Ooof, I felt that. My project management system logs me out a few times a year and each time it happens my heart rate elevates.
voodooEntity 3y ago
Well im IT Teamlead and imposter syndrom hits me hard too. Always wonder when the day will come.
maximilianroos 3y ago
At a friend's company, the CEO had a calendar invite of "Fire Dan", for April 1. Dan went to confirm it was an April Fools' joke. It wasn't!
- 20after4 3y ago
  wtf. that's pretty cold.
- progmetaldev 3y ago
  This is something my boss would post in his calendar publicly without even thinking of it. I guess it helps me to get ahead of it, if it were to ever happen to me, but having the rest of the company able to see it is pretty cold and unfeeling.
dathinab 3y ago
thats not very healthy given how unreliable github has become in recent years. E.g. just yesterday for a short time frame of a few hours maybe half a day or so they had a bug where some closed PRs where shown in the personal which show created _not closed_ PRs. Or github CI having spurious job cancellations or sometimes on a job failing waits until some (quite long) timeout is reached before reporting it. Or it temporary being (partial or fully) down for a few hours. Or it's documentation even through rather complete somehow managing to be often rather inconvenient to use. Oh wait that's not a bug, just subtle bad design, like it's PR overview/filters. Both cases of something which seems right on the first look, but starts being more and more inconvenient the more you use it. A trend I would argue describes GitHub as a whole rather well.
- Wojtkie 3y ago
  Something internal must be going on at Microsoft. My company's PowerBI service has had some major performance issues over the past week
progmetaldev 3y ago
I get this feeling when I get kicked out of Google services at a different time than my usual 7 days (Monday) log out. I'm an admin of the Google services we use, and I still get that stomach dropping feeling.
dreday 3y ago
Cannot login to slack
SergeAx 3y ago
I hope you are not contributing production code.
rubicks 3y ago
I feel this in my bones. Every. Single. Time.

Everytime github goes down, and my push/pull is rejected, I immediately assume they’ve discovered I’m incompetent and fired me. And I’m the head of engineering at my company.

antoineMoPa 3y ago

> And I’m the head of engineering at my company. Haha! Happy to see impostor syndrome goes all the way to the top of the hierarchy.

dreday 3y ago
Something that I've found that helps me with impostor syndrome is to read and talk about it. Check out this Ted talk from the co-founder of Atlassian. https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_use_impostor_syndrome_to_your_benefit?language=en https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_us...

vrosas 3y ago

You’re not alone.

Maxion 3y ago

I think the same thing every time my credentials to our issue tracker expires and I have to log in again. I am the lead dev on two projects.

CommitSyn 3y ago
Is there a name for firing trauma? I'm like this ever since I was scapegoated.
- scrum-treats 3y ago
  Can you describe what happened that qualifies as "scapegoated"?
- pandacake 3y ago
  Sudden self-awareness of bias? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36508656 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36508656
- AdamJacobMuller 3y ago
  I got logged out of our slack today, which I'm the primary owner of, and I was also wondering this. I've also never been fired, so, it isn't always linked to trauma from past firings.
- jachee 3y ago
  I’m no mental health professional, but that sounds like literal PTSD, to me.
  - berniedurfee 3y ago
    There’s a long list of signals that can trigger folks into layoff panic.
- addandsubtract 3y ago
  Borderline imposter syndrome?
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]

aliasxneo 3y ago

I resonate with this.

morkalork 3y ago

Sounds kind of like those dreams where you can only run slowly, punch with noodly arms and trying to turn on a light just has a dim effect.

mantra2 3y ago

Ooof, I felt that. My project management system logs me out a few times a year and each time it happens my heart rate elevates.

voodooEntity 3y ago

Well im IT Teamlead and imposter syndrom hits me hard too. Always wonder when the day will come.

maximilianroos 3y ago

At a friend's company, the CEO had a calendar invite of "Fire Dan", for April 1. Dan went to confirm it was an April Fools' joke. It wasn't!

20after4 3y ago
wtf. that's pretty cold.
progmetaldev 3y ago
This is something my boss would post in his calendar publicly without even thinking of it. I guess it helps me to get ahead of it, if it were to ever happen to me, but having the rest of the company able to see it is pretty cold and unfeeling.

dathinab 3y ago

thats not very healthy given how unreliable github has become in recent years. E.g. just yesterday for a short time frame of a few hours maybe half a day or so they had a bug where some closed PRs where shown in the personal which show created _not closed_ PRs. Or github CI having spurious job cancellations or sometimes on a job failing waits until some (quite long) timeout is reached before reporting it. Or it temporary being (partial or fully) down for a few hours. Or it's documentation even through rather complete somehow managing to be often rather inconvenient to use. Oh wait that's not a bug, just subtle bad design, like it's PR overview/filters. Both cases of something which seems right on the first look, but starts being more and more inconvenient the more you use it. A trend I would argue describes GitHub as a whole rather well.

Wojtkie 3y ago
Something internal must be going on at Microsoft. My company's PowerBI service has had some major performance issues over the past week

progmetaldev 3y ago

I get this feeling when I get kicked out of Google services at a different time than my usual 7 days (Monday) log out. I'm an admin of the Google services we use, and I still get that stomach dropping feeling.

dreday 3y ago

Cannot login to slack

SergeAx 3y ago

I hope you are not contributing production code.

rubicks 3y ago

I feel this in my bones. Every. Single. Time.