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I just couldn’t resist the music of a rhythm. That, plus when someone’s being conversationally grouchy, returning the grouchiness to illustrate how grouchy it i

I just couldn’t resist the music of a rhythm. That, plus when someone’s being conversationally grouchy, returning the grouchiness to illustrate how grouchy it is followed by “here’s how not to be as grouchy and communicate with me/us more effectively” is simply a good tactic to make this point without escalating, I’ve found. When people get their grouchiness back that usually prods them to be angry, which (a) gives you an opportunity to immediately fix it with a better way, demonstrating good faith and avoiding an escalation and (b) it shows more self-aware people how others take their exact behaviors by introducing it in them. Note I’m using soft language to get across that I don’t think anybody was in bad faith here, you’re just asking me to explain in great detail.

ianbutler 3y ago
For what its worth your point was taken, but I was intentionally being a dick. I know how I sounded but this entire post is filled with people moralizing without having any understanding of what they're talking about, and I, without any ambiguity, hate people like that. Like hate in the actual sense of the word and not a hyperbolic dramatization of a milder emotion like annoyance. My intent wasn't to persuade or educate, but perhaps I should be better at not taking the bait and just not commenting.
jrflowers 3y ago
> I just couldn’t resist the music of a rhythm. So you found the rhetorical aesthetic of the “You know… right?” pattern to be satisfying and useful in this conversation! >…a good tactic to make this point without escalating, I’ve found. That makes sense I suppose, but I think we can agree that your next sentence: > There is almost no circumstance where “you know … right?” makes you worthwhile, pleasurable, or persuasive to talk to Was very much an escalation. It looks like you would’ve been more effective if you’d stuck with your explicitly favored strategy of using the “You know… right?” pattern. You know you’ve made a compelling argument in favor of speaking in this manner, right?

ianbutler 3y ago

For what its worth your point was taken, but I was intentionally being a dick. I know how I sounded but this entire post is filled with people moralizing without having any understanding of what they're talking about, and I, without any ambiguity, hate people like that. Like hate in the actual sense of the word and not a hyperbolic dramatization of a milder emotion like annoyance. My intent wasn't to persuade or educate, but perhaps I should be better at not taking the bait and just not commenting.

jrflowers 3y ago

> I just couldn’t resist the music of a rhythm. So you found the rhetorical aesthetic of the “You know… right?” pattern to be satisfying and useful in this conversation! >…a good tactic to make this point without escalating, I’ve found. That makes sense I suppose, but I think we can agree that your next sentence: > There is almost no circumstance where “you know … right?” makes you worthwhile, pleasurable, or persuasive to talk to Was very much an escalation. It looks like you would’ve been more effective if you’d stuck with your explicitly favored strategy of using the “You know… right?” pattern. You know you’ve made a compelling argument in favor of speaking in this manner, right?