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I have a similar sentiment. I remember growing up with jocks and bullies and really not identifying with the whole “group showers and snapping towels at asses”

I have a similar sentiment. I remember growing up with jocks and bullies and really not identifying with the whole “group showers and snapping towels at asses” masculinity not pleasant and spent a lot of time getting beaten up or avoiding being beaten up. So at first I liked the pushback against toxic masculinity as I didn’t like jerk men. But then the concept expanded to everything. “Mansplaining” isn’t something unique to men, but it’s ok to point out “mansplaining” but not non-men explaining stuff. “Manspreading” is used quite a bit, but there’s a reason why men sit with their legs open so there’s a polite about of space that’s ok for comfort. Etc etc. I hope this is overcompensating for a long time of jerks being jerks but I fear that the bullying resulting from “strength = power” and jocks has now changed to “money = power” and people other than jocks have power. I go to an esports bar quite a bit and an esports team was there. And they were totally bullying people and it was weird because it was multiple genders and races being total jerks to people. But the bully’s were strong, tall, handsome jocks. They were esports-types. So the jerk dynamic was still there. I don’t think it’s progress if we end up with the same number of “toxic” jerks.

commandlinefan 3y ago
> not identifying with the whole “group showers and snapping towels at asses” masculinity Me, neither. And, in fact, I've never met anybody who did. Have you ever noticed how many of the movies we grew up watching were about a "shy, sensitive boy" who "wasn't like the jocks" who ended up getting the girl in the end? Ever notice how that trope appealed to almost everybody? That's because that's how everybody remembers their teenage years, too - even the guys who actually were on the football team taking group showers.
- jncfhnb 3y ago
  The high school jocks in the showers is a generational thing as well as a regional thing. It may not match your experience, but it is/was real. Your belief that everybody felt like the shy sensitive kid is wildly out of touch.
- isk517 3y ago
  When remembering my past I also try to remember that there were times that I was the villain of somebody else story. One of the reasons why there are always 'jerks' and 'bullies' is because most jerks and bullies don't view themselves as such.
- prepend 3y ago
  I went to a school with 1000 men. There were hundreds who identified with the towel ass slappers. And I have friends who still do. In my high school the jocks got the girl. Movies are fantasy and there was no sensitive kid who got the prom queen. At least for the limited experience I had.
Slava_Propanei 3y ago
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commandlinefan 3y ago

> not identifying with the whole “group showers and snapping towels at asses” masculinity Me, neither. And, in fact, I've never met anybody who did. Have you ever noticed how many of the movies we grew up watching were about a "shy, sensitive boy" who "wasn't like the jocks" who ended up getting the girl in the end? Ever notice how that trope appealed to almost everybody? That's because that's how everybody remembers their teenage years, too - even the guys who actually were on the football team taking group showers.

jncfhnb 3y ago
The high school jocks in the showers is a generational thing as well as a regional thing. It may not match your experience, but it is/was real. Your belief that everybody felt like the shy sensitive kid is wildly out of touch.
isk517 3y ago
When remembering my past I also try to remember that there were times that I was the villain of somebody else story. One of the reasons why there are always 'jerks' and 'bullies' is because most jerks and bullies don't view themselves as such.
prepend 3y ago
I went to a school with 1000 men. There were hundreds who identified with the towel ass slappers. And I have friends who still do. In my high school the jocks got the girl. Movies are fantasy and there was no sensitive kid who got the prom queen. At least for the limited experience I had.

Slava_Propanei 3y ago

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